This fear within everyone

4년 전


This article is dedicated to all those who live with phobias and fear in the head. Each phobia carries a megaton of horror and fear, which you have to experience daily and maybe even several times a day. And it's not so easy for you to live with it. Every time you say to yourself, "I can not overcome this fear, I'm tired that I'm a finished person and that I will not have a good life anymore." And after several successive failures in overcoming the next attack of fear "phobia" (or as in medicine, it is now commonly called a "panic attack"), your hands drop, and you feel that you are simply powerless and plunged into despondency and despair. More precisely, from a medical point of view, you fall into a complete "depression."
Every time you look for a solution to this problem on the Internet, in medical reference books, and some even a doctor "psychotherapist." Only the outcome is the same for you always: on the Internet you find even more symptoms, from which your head explodes and your heart rate increases, in medical references you find everything, but not only what can help you, but the therapist with you just pull money, taking advantage of the fact that you have such an ailment. Using your fear, he paints you a step-by-step course of treatment (each of which you will have to pay), and from the first session begins to inspire you that everything is good and wonderful and that you are going in the right direction and that a little bit more, and you will get rid of it from its not an arc. Yes, you seem to be starting to feel good at first, but somewhere in the middle of all classes you understand that this help does not help you, and you continue to swallow kilograms of "antidepressant" and "sedative" pills with which you never part. And now you are alone again alone with yourself. And you feel fear, a strong fear that comes from outside. He rolls on you with a powerful wave of unbridled panic.
The heart in the chest is beating so hard that you start to suffocate from this, and the head begins to feel dizzy. Feelings are formed such that you are about to die right now, and to help you not to whom. After all, people close to whom you trust, with you there is no. And no matter how you try to calm yourself down now and whatever thoughts you are positive do not drive in your head all without use, a wave of fear and panic drags you farther into the abyss of horror. You pick up the phone and call to your nearest and dearest person, but those warm and kind ones with fishing in the tube "hold on, everything will be fine with you, it's just in your head, do not be afraid", these words to you now no longer able to help. In response to these words, you are just beginning to get angry, insulted and disrupted, causing him severe pain. You take and swallow soothing pills, but you do not feel the effect of them, but you feel that you are only getting worse. You already begin to feel that you have already started with the mind, and that the next stop is the "psychiatric hospital". From these thoughts, your self-esteem falls, and you become more and more self-contained. And now you are sitting or standing, and now you have such a terrible condition that you are already trying to call yourself an ambulance. Or maybe you are already rushing along your car to the nearest hospital, breaking all the rules of the road, exposing everyone around you to danger. You rush and at the same time you talk on the phone, with someone close to you (after all, you're getting better). For every word, you answer: you yell, you are angry, you are rude. You shout to him that you are a "finished man" and that you are "tired of living like this" and want to "leave."
And then sharply darkness and silence. You already do not have that fear. You begin to understand that you "left" that you are no more. Next, there are pictures in your mind, about how you got here. You flew in your car, at a huge speed to the hospital. Overtaking all and while swearing on the phone. And in this state at one point you can not cope with the control, and all the way you crash into the oncoming car and from a strong blow your car throws to a stop where there were a lot of people. And each of them was loved by someone and was waiting for someone at home.They were somebody's moms or dads, or maybe daughters and sons. And you understand how many people you hurt and suffer. And you yourself now feel a strong pain from so many mutilated fates, but there is nothing you can not return. And now you understand that the fear that you had and the torments that seemed to you not endurable for a few minutes ago, it's nothing compared to the pain that you now feel. Or maybe you "left" in a different way! Maybe you at home stuck your stupid head in a noose, and took a step off the chair. And now you are watching from the side, as your hanging body gathered people. Among them is the policeman who fills in the protocol and the doctors who stand and wait when that policeman finishes examining your body and they could take you and take you to the morgue while dripping soothing drops to your close people.
You see in what hysterics now your wife, who kneels and hits her tear-stained cheeks with her hands to wake up, thinking that this is a dream. And you understand how much you now brought pain to those whom you loved and who loved you. Most recently, you swore at them and broke, and they were patient. They are the only ones who understood you and therefore your every harsh word did not take to heart. And now you can not even ask them for forgiveness. You sink again into darkness and silence. And in your thoughts sound the words of those stories that you listened to sometime. True stories about the heroic deeds of your grandfather. During the Great Patriotic War he saved many people, he was young but did not fear death and did not spare himself. As he hung up with bottles of incendiary mixture straight to the tanks, and stopped them. I stopped them at the cost of my life, that you could live. And you did the act that caused only pain. Yes, and always hurt your loved ones and loved ones. Were you afraid all the time of something? Staying alone at home or on the streets among strangers far away from home, or can ride in the subway or fly on an airplane? Yes, you can list a lot, but the essence of each fear is one. This is the fear of death. Also it turns out that you are afraid of that that with you all the same should happen, yes not only with you and with each person on this earth. You better think about how you lived this life and how much good you did. After all, you will have a terrible trial ahead of you after death. On which you will be asked for each of your bad deeds and for every tear you shed because of you caused pain. To each his time and while you live you do more useful things and do not get discouraged. And the more you already know what is stronger than your fear, this is pain for pain caused by you. Love God and live with him and do not break his commandments, and more often go to church for confession and communion.
Only then can you go through this life with dignity. After all, if in you God means in you there is love, love for everyone. And the depression in which you fell, this is one of the grave sins, because it gives rise to a lot of sins in you and in the end your life is full of sorrow. And the last thing you hear is this strong and so loud as lightning phrase "DO NOT RAGE GOD". And opening your eyes, you understand that you now saw all this while was unconscious from the fact that he had brought himself to an unconscious state. And you already do not have that fear because you saw all that can be and felt all the pain that can be. And you realize that your fears are not that compared to what might happen. And you pick up the phone and call your beloved person and say "I love you" ask him for forgiveness for everything you said a minute ago.


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