So here a am. A place not long time a wanted newer to put my feet evere a again.
A remember it was in canada a it was x-mas a was goggeling how to get a student visa a was concluded the only way out of the bike shops and a was missing a porpos in my life. The ide ot og to school was comming to me. Now 8 monts later here a am. trying not to use goggel tanslate to much to show my skill. Spelling is hard for me and where the . Are is a bit of a gessing game. But a can feel where its going most of the time. A think a never had English in school before am self-taught from games moves and life. In my work a always been working whit engles speaking People even before canada. So on work a speak every day.
But over to way it took me so long time. To og back. Back in canada a had a psychologist she gave me the diagnosis of Compleks PTSD. Most people know of the “normal” PTSD when you have a severe trauma of war, death or abuse etc but compleks is when the trauma is over long time. In my case. When a was born norway was testing babys if they had braned damage after birth and a had it. They did this just a few yars they figur out most kids had it and its a part of beeing born and the body heal itself. But a was a bit slow to start the speak and move arund a was on the end of the spectrum. So my mother been unsure of here self and my fadere the same. the hospital was thinkg a was brain damage.
Am from a small village and my mother was my teacher my first 3 years. When a was in the 3 grade
A was testid in the hospital the shaved my head and drilled my skull opend a was just a passenger was newer asked or told way or what they fund the next few years a was in the hospitals been testid many times. Had a psychologist from a was 6. evry time a did somting how they where think was not normal like crying or been angry or normal kid stuff it was a responde from the psychologist of some kind. A was refusing to og to scholl then there response was to get two men from the pp tjenesten to come home and force me to scholl a was barricaded my room and fight agends then but alwast lost. My only way out was to og in to a frezzz where a was safe.
when I started high school the damage was done. A lasted just a few weeks then stop going a was admitted to psychiatric hospitals for 2 years and my last year in hige scholl a was isolated from the rest of the class on and one whit a teacher. This continued to high school where a spend 5 years 3 of them alone and the last two in classd.
My famely and the system was puting me in the sick box. and a was sure a was brain damage. In my early 20 a was in a difrent psychiatric hospitals a told them a was brain damage, but they pull up the papers and its ses am not. So then a was just stupid then? A spend the next 10+ years digging a hole slowly going more and more destructive to my self. Intilll 2015 where a meet a cross road.
One way was death and one was life a chosen live.