#Emotion#恶言(月旦评)

3년 전

这将是我在这里写的倒数第二篇文字,写给我的先生,公用这个账号的另一位。

每个人眼中的自己都只有一个,而在别人的眼里你可能是多样的。我无意去猜测别人的内心,也自认没有这样的能力,我只想陈述一些事情。

我有个女儿,她是上天给我的礼物也是我的软肋和底线。最近我面临的选择就是关于她,我是个很自私的人,坏脾气,倔强,不知后悔。。。。可我爱她,愿意用生命去换取她的平安快乐,没有人可以从我身边夺走她,包括你。

在道德的底线上,我没有对不起任何人,在情感上我也没有对不起任何人。我是个不喜欢小孩的人,但是自从有了她,我连生病都不敢,尽自己的全力去爱护她,疼痛、失眠、忧郁症轮番折磨我,而我除了用药物逼迫自己坚持下去之外并不能改善什么。

在你眼里,我是强势的、不讲理的、坏脾气的妻子。或许是吧,我承认我不是你期待中喜爱的那种妻子,可请你扪心自问,我对这个家庭的付出是存在还是虚无的?我是否尽全力的在照顾女儿?

恶言,是无形的伤害。谩骂、嘲讽、无言冷战,或许比肉体上的疼痛更伤人,伤人又伤己。失控的不单单是我。借着这篇文,我对我所有说出的恶言,在此道歉。不需要原谅,因为原谅已经并不能再改变什么。

以前我总求一个结果,一个答案。而现在我累了,争论、辩解、反复的扯皮。。。。你说我赖着你,作为一个母亲,我只是舍不得我的孩子啊。如果这个世界真的有恶魔,我愿意用我的血肉、精神、灵魂去换取她的幸福。

你放心吧,我不会赖着你,我所有的所得都将留给我的父母和女儿,生不带来死不带走的东西而已。亏欠他们,是我最大的罪恶。给了你一个安琪儿般的女儿,我并不亏欠你。

一直记得你曾对我说过,你曾经的一个谎言你愿意用一辈子换取我的原谅,而誓言又只是存在于宣读的那一刻而已。一辈子太久啦,我对我所有做的决定都不后悔。结婚、生子、离开。。。。我不需要别人的评论,我只是我而已。

#希望这篇文字能够给所有人一些提醒,恶言是如同慢性毒药一般的存在,于人于己,它们会根植在内心,随着时间留下越来越大的伤害。如果还有值得努力的人或事物,请珍惜。#

最后一篇文标题:“#Emotion# END” 如果密码被改不能发上来,我会贴另外的地方,网页留在微信里。希望我在这里能有始有终。

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人生短短几十载,没有不过去的坎,我们活着就是最好的恩赐,那些所谓的冷漠、失落、痛苦、吵闹只不过是我们自己滋生出来的,如果我们能抱着一种学会满足的心态,那么一切都黑暗都将崩溃,内心强大做好真正的自己好了!

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