Comedy Open Mic. Round 17: Everything you need to know to become a digital nomad - Recommendations from a camgirl

2년 전

Lasting happiness and fulfillment with finding your soulmate and starting a family is so overrated.

Digital Gonadism is much more satisfying! Become a digital nomad!

You can get misused testicles where ladyboys become ladies, but you need to supply your own testosteroni.

Seriously though: HOW DO YOU BECOME A DIGITAL NOMAD?
First prerequisite: being broke.

Second: you need to buy a computer. Get yourself a Macbook pro, like I did here, with this one.
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Third. Update your profile photo to look like a handsome young hunk. I for example, still need to keep a good reputation back home, so I wear glasses to look more intelligent.
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If you are a man, you need a man bun. And put a cool cover photo of your family on Facebook.
Something serious, like this one...
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Image source

Write up a CV with a totally bullshit portfolio. Claim that you're running this hot, new SEO company and outsource all the work to Philippines.

Fourth step: sacrifice a virgin goat on the Obsidian altar at the Dead of Night.
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Put all money into Putincoin. It's the best currency of crypto, help you ride bear and can never go down because is linked to success of mother Russia. God bless!
Or even better: sell your house and buy bitcoin. Of course, talk about how you are a bitcoin millionaire.
I used to own a lot of bitcoin back in 2012. I spent it all on drugs mostly, then lost the access codes for the rest...
Well, at least I didn't waste it

Then turn vegan and tell everyone about it.
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Speechless Thai lasagne

Being a digital nomad is cool. You gotta CRUSH IT and look like you are living the life!
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Look at me, for example. I am a digital gonad, ooops...nomad, but I don't really go anywhere. I'm just being the fake Nomad who doesn't actually go anywhere. Only to Italy two times a year, mostly to keep up my air miles (I'm Gold).

Buy my video course where I teach you how to become a digital nomad by teaching others how to become a digital nomad by teaching them how to become a digital nomad.
Message me and I'll send you a link to my $998 course on 'How to Become a Digital Nomad and Crush it in South East Asia'.

Serious people only please.

In reality, do webcam porn!

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Be a camgirl, like me!

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sober shoes for the feet fetish

I nominate @enternamehere and @therealpaul to join the contest.

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I'll take your course so that you can teach me how to become a gonad owning webcam testorstorini. :D

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testorstorini auahuahuahauuh

Do you have easy pay instalments?
Peace.

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Can we do a trade for my latest mix-tape? :)
Peace.

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Ohhhhhhh! It's ok!
Here some magics ass sparkles for you :)

well, I'm okay with the sacrifice bit, but you want me to be a vegan! That is where I draw the line ;)

Smart glasses you is my favourite.

Ahahaha! As a Digital Gonad Nomad, I approve this message haha! I can't say that I outsource my work to the Philippines, but I have been outsourced work seeing as I'm in the Philippines. Everything worked out great haha!

I laughed when you said buy a Mac! That's my Mac! Actually, don't buy a Mac, I poured water on it and it the screen is now screwed :-(

in reality - me and my g/f did do webcam porn ! lol
( until a debit card company stopped trading, and now we have money stuck in an acoount we can't take out...were u serious about the cam stuff? lol)
......aghhhhhhhh!

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Oh no! I was just kidding

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..I was hoping you were on the same site, so we could transfer the money out that way via a cam show!
lolol

awww, digital nomad? what is this about , lol
i just like your pictures xoxoxo

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It's a digital gonad that pretends to be coooooooooooooool :D

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You crushed it, lol

@belemo .. what are your thoughs on sacrificing a a virgin goat on the Obsidian altar at the Dead of Night.?

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That sounds fine, as long as I'm not romantically involved with the goat

Brilliant post. It had a good stream of consciousness low to it. Well executed jokes. I loved the "I drink tea." bit. I will be stealing it for later use.
five stars.

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Thank you! I'm honored by your words, as I think you are very funny! <3

Okay First prerequisite: Done
2nd: pending due to the first
3rd: kinda, I guess. I cut the man bun last year. Iraq is too hot.
4th: STEP AWAY FROM THE GOATS! That’s a personal matter to me.
5th: No.

Well.... I guess I won’t be a cam girl anytime soon.

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oh fuck, I thought everybody wanted to be a cam girl!!

You are brilliant with this! Pure Sandrina gold. I appreciate your nomination, it's been so refreshing to lighten up on the blockchain a little. Thank you for crushing it to the extreme in digital nomadism. Where would we be without your guidance?! ☺

...And this is a really sad story:

I used to own a lot of bitcoin back in 2012. I spent it all on drugs mostly, then lost the access codes for the rest...

But there is good news for you! If you wire me $9.3K USD I will 50/50 split my share of the BTC trust fund from a mysterious and very wealthy prince in Antarctica who is waiting for my signal to release the codes to the fortress where he is held captive. All I need from you is $9.3K USD to cover administrative costs and other operational overhead expenses for the expedition.

Don't wait! Reply now!

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Serious answer.
Actually, I have seen the people from the contest (participants and judges being quite cold on it), so I thought it wasn't funny at all, as I got support only from "the friends".
SO, to make it up, instead of sending $9.3K USD, I'm going to send you this video for a laugh.
I was trying to do an entry for the open mic for musicians. I like to try new stuff I'm completely incompetent about.


THIS IS THE PROVE THAT I'm way more funny in real life than at writing!!!

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I thought this post was funny as all get-out. Just didn't have time that day to comment. I think you're one of the funnier people on the site. And always going for whatever is in front of you. And that is my final word on that (like there's ever a final dd word O :

The glasses and tea really cracked me up, as well as many others, though showing our 'illustrious' leader with a bowl of pasta on his head. About sums it all up.
Haven't seen this video before. A classic. I would gladly send you the $998, but I already spent it on brass nuts and nipples, plus, I might be too serious to actually compete.
Speaking of which, many many congratulations on your win, I was cheering for you to win. Cheerio(s)

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Grazie grazie grazie! I really did not do much more than photograph my boobies!?!?
I got steem and sbd that I would normally earn in a month! Brilliant!
This video was prepared in a period of silliness 5 months ago, I am going to be ready to participate to another open mic with this instrument, typical from Sicily!
scacciapensieri.jpg

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Oh, yes of course I remember this. It's another one of your instant hits! Who could forget such a melody?

One day your gonna be a big star.

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No! I forgot the the most important part of this comment- Sandrina has got the funny, maybe even dangerous levels of funny. DD summed up the details much more better-like than me.

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Thanks! I really hope we can meet one day and do drugs together <3
:D

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That's a very kind sentiment, however unexpected. Here's to future crossroads!

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Can I get in on this moneymaker?

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I'm actually not 100% sure how, if participants must be nominated to join or if participants must nominate 2 people. This challenge is right up your alley, that's for sure.

I wanted to nominate you, but I also wanted to encourage some 50-rep folks to join in. I don't want to be a hardcore O-jerker! (<-- the O is a circle). We'll find out the answer.

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Oh, sorry. I was talking about your great BTC internet offer. I probably wouldn't do well on the live stuff, or in interviews. Think I'm more of a behind-the-scenes sort. Plus, probably not smart enough to figure it out on my computer. I haven't even figured out auto voting or the other chat thingy yet . But I WOULD send you money so I can get rich in a haribrained scheme that is too good to EVER be true. I get phone calls all the time: "Hello sir. We see your computer is out of date. Please provide us with your bank account info, credit card, first two cats and deed to your house, and we'll fix it". "OK". There's one born every minute, and in some cases, even more often ( :

I agree, give the newer folks a chance to grow. I've been here almost two years, and growing larger is rather tough. I can't imagine how hard it is when you join today. Have to really chat and comment away to be seen on the site now. Don't think vote buying helps any of it either. Anyways, it's Saturday, so don't worry, be happy, mow the grass, fix the weedeater, eat some Hagen Daz, drink beer, be happy.

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Agreed! Agreed! I joined last summer and I'm still at 58 reputation, I see people joining way after me and they are already at 60+
I must be a dumb retard at blogging then.
Now I'm going to make my luggage, I'm flying back to Cambodia.
Cheeerioooos

Hahahahaha. I love online coaching. I’m surprised you didn’t plug your ebook. I guess you’re all about the courses.

You’re hilarious. I don’t think you need any artificial anything, you are a natural. 😆 Great job once again! 👍🏻

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