Are YOU Listening?



How many times it seems, I have had to proclaim "are you listening" to a partner. Of course this could apply to a colleague, child, or a friend. Conversely, we have probably begun accused of the same. Interestingly enough, whether you think you are a good listener or have been told you are: stats show we **only listen to 25-50% of what we are being told!! And that number holds steady even if we are attempting to ACTIVELY listen. Active listening and really trying to absorb something someone is telling us is important especially considering they clearly find it interesting or serious enough to tell you.

Active listening is important for the following but not limited to:

  • We listen to obtain information.
  • We listen to understand.
  • We listen for enjoyment.
  • We listen to learn

Working to improve our active listening can improve teamwork, improve workplace structure, improve intimacy with our spouse, etc. I know for a fact it's hurtful and/or irritating to me when I'm feel I'm not being heard or listened to.

To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, here's some tips:

  • concentrate harder on what the person is saying
  • Replay the conversation in your head WHILE and after having it
  • Nod your head
  • Question something they saying (not interrogation style but to to show your interest. )
  • Make intelligent remarks demonstrating you're listening
  • Look at the speaker directly.
  • Put aside distracting thoughts. This person felt/ feels like sharing this with you so, be respectful!
  • Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!. Remember unless it's a severe infarction by the individual (i.e. Hitler was a good dude..... lol)
  • Give your undivided attention, after all they are talking to YOU
  • Avoid crossing your arms maintain a friendly stance & body language
  • Encourage the person you're listening with small remarks lines saying "yes" or "you agree" etc.
  • Provide feedback and don't interrupt with viber arguments
  • Be candid and open with your feedback
    ' Assert alternative opinions without "attitude"
  • LET THE PERSON FINISH THEIR POINT before you oppose it
    (If you do)

If you are already thinking about the next conversation or your next remark; you aren't listening.

I hope this list helps; I was surprised myself. Having considering myself a good listener. I now realize i do a few of these things making me a less good listener. Thanks for dropping by. Feel free to drop a comment below. Header is pixabay, and some others were ascertained from this site:



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Good post! I might add 'mirroring' which is my fave and 'steelmaning' which is repeating back what someone's point is in a debate. Also, a type of mirroring...
Of course, there is my other mode: LALALALALALA...
And the pointed finger when enough is absolutely enough.
Okay, now that we all broke and desperate please carry on and stay calm:)


Yes please calm down or I'll be sending you a virtual xanax. Anyway, yes it does apply to Steemit. Especially with replies and referring back to the "direct parent" or replies. And also the author's posts so i don't miss key points I needed for my response :)


I gave away everything I owned and went 'off-grid' in '79 for seven years. Best years of my life:) This song was an influence:

Thunder rolling down out of dried-up skies
Every inch of earth crying out for water
Television man spelling out the price
Everywhere the sheep creeping the slaughter
Cold weather coming, people feel the fire
Living on Dead End Street with no desire
Is it any wonder you've got no power
When you pay a thief to keep it for you?
Is it a surprise that your wine is sour
When you let a liar choose the brew he pours you?
Talk on the wire about force and choice
It's uncomfortable to raise your voice
Everybody whispering behind their hand
Selling their despair to any stronger man
Don't have to listen now
We taught ourselves to trust our heads
It's getting us nowhere
If fifty-five million hearts can't feel it
We'll never know where
Polish up your silver and hide your gold
Send the lookout man down to every corner
Gather in the place where it's bought and sold
Next to where you once used to be a learner
Cold weather coming, people feel the fire
Living on Dead End Street with no desire
You gotta listen now

Now it's all aces and eights (Chai)...fake, fake, fake...


Okay, this is what happens when the gov. locks us up:P

I recommend Miles' writing these days:

It's a 'musing' that I tapped into his 'boycott everything' theme this year...

Thanks for the pill:)


I often consider living off grid. Modern day society is exhausting. Of course then I would find myself missing certain modern day luxuries...

This post has been rewarded by the Steem Community Curation Project. #communitycuration07