How many times it seems, I have had to proclaim "are you listening" to a partner. Of course this could apply to a colleague, child, or a friend. Conversely, we have probably begun accused of the same. Interestingly enough, whether you think you are a good listener or have been told you are: stats show we **only listen to 25-50% of what we are being told!! And that number holds steady even if we are attempting to ACTIVELY listen. Active listening and really trying to absorb something someone is telling us is important especially considering they clearly find it interesting or serious enough to tell you.
Active listening is important for the following but not limited to:
- We listen to obtain information.
- We listen to understand.
- We listen for enjoyment.
- We listen to learn
Working to improve our active listening can improve teamwork, improve workplace structure, improve intimacy with our spouse, etc. I know for a fact it's hurtful and/or irritating to me when I'm feel I'm not being heard or listened to.
To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, here's some tips:
- concentrate harder on what the person is saying
- Replay the conversation in your head WHILE and after having it
- Nod your head
- Question something they saying (not interrogation style but to to show your interest. )
- Make intelligent remarks demonstrating you're listening
- Look at the speaker directly.
- Put aside distracting thoughts. This person felt/ feels like sharing this with you so, be respectful!
- Don't mentally prepare a rebuttal!. Remember unless it's a severe infarction by the individual (i.e. Hitler was a good dude..... lol)
- Give your undivided attention, after all they are talking to YOU
- Avoid crossing your arms maintain a friendly stance & body language
- Encourage the person you're listening with small remarks lines saying "yes" or "you agree" etc.
- Provide feedback and don't interrupt with viber arguments
- Be candid and open with your feedback
' Assert alternative opinions without "attitude"
- DO OFFER FEEDBACK, IT PROVES YOU U WERE LISTENING
- LET THE PERSON FINISH THEIR POINT before you oppose it
(If you do)
If you are already thinking about the next conversation or your next remark; you aren't listening.
I hope this list helps; I was surprised myself. Having considering myself a good listener. I now realize i do a few of these things making me a less good listener. Thanks for dropping by. Feel free to drop a comment below. Header is pixabay, and some others were ascertained from this site: