The topic has come up today through the finer lines of communication between my woman and myself. Watched the recent Tarantino movie last night andd as always I was amazed at the attractiveness that certain women have on me. I feel it is somehow integral to my being, an inseparable part of being a male human being.
I see lots of women that I dig but to me there is a very distinct line from who I see and feel attracted to visually and who I feel I want to spend time with on the other hand. In a perfect world I would somehow get with a woman I really dig visually - it is what would make us get top know each other, her visual features luring me to go talk to her and then finding out that she is actually riding the same wave of consciousness development I am riding, working on herself and not giving a rat's ass about societal norms of what a woman is meant to be like. But it just never turned out that way, even after an awesome connection had already set in - there's always something about her hangups that make her plus in looks not worth it for me.
What is a "plus" in looks anway? A temporary self-aggrandizement in sharing part of her god-given Earthly vessel until she becomes faded and not carying any attractive features. If all she ever had were her looks it would certainly end badly aiminig to live with her for a lifetime. Maybe I should instead look for all the spiritual features I look ffor and then seeing whether she is still hot enough to qualify. Kinda sorry to put it so bluntly but I feel neither women nor men will be happy relying on the woman's natural attarctive looks in her 20's when what they want to do is to build a life together.
I have felt for the longest time that actual women should give it their all to feel like themselves, somehow sensing and regaining the grasp on what actaul feminity meant long before the social consructors seized their chance to twist the heads and hearts of women in TV-nations to follow their constructed template erected for reasons of control not for enforcement of natural insights.
I think it's not inherently bad to see young women as an old guy and be stunned by them. Likewise I feel it's not inherently bad to long for a more fulfilled life living with a man of a somewhat average level of wordly accomplishments.
I just feel we are taking this world and the fuckin' YOLO mantra (which I have yet to write about) way too seriously and outof context.
Maybe that's why I dig the reincarnation-idea so much - feeling that I have probably had it all, all types of women forbidden and non-forbbiden, all types of weird unfulfilled relationships and heartships along the way in past lifetimes.
And as the waves of uncertaintiy are coming up these days I feel more relaxed than ever. I found a woman that I dig so much tat even the most fairytale-like appearances of 20 year old blonde girls could never wipe away because I know how far they would be from the woman I have grown so fond of. I may opt to stay with them for one night but even from experience I know that none of them will ever get so close to the core of being as my woman does everyday, just being herself without trying anything. Because she simply arrived at where she is alredy.
I really wonder how this will all pan out <3