Lately a young boy I coach in Kung Fu shared a heart warming story with me that made me very proud of him.
Three boys bigger and older than him have been bullying him for the past few weeks. After knowing he was in no real danger and asking if he wanted help he continually said no, and that it is ok. As a mentor I gave him his space and did not insist on interfering.
Today he told me that yesterday he had enough. I asked him what he did. He told me:
He went up and shoved the leader of the pack. He then ran and they chased. He lead them to a place with no people then stopped and turned around.
As he faced the three boys he did not give them time to think and tackled the leader to the ground. He had access to striking his head and face but decided that would do too much damage. He did not want to hurt him.
So he turned him over pull his head back by the hair. Placed the bully's hand on his own knee and applied pressure to the bully's elbow to bend it backwards. The whole time he used reasonable force and applied just enough for the bully to give up and recognise defeat. The other two stopped and stared in shock.
He let him go and they all ran away.
I am so proud that he did not turn to violence as a first resort to violence and tried for weeks to make them stop (they did not). He lead them to a remote place and sorted them out and did not tell his friends about it. He only told his mother and me. And he chose not to use unreasonable force and do unnecessary damage. He only wanted to teach them a lesson he said.
He told none of his friends as he felt there was no need to tell anyone.
I am not keen on him using violence. But considering the circumstances and using such restraint is a reflection on his level of skill and choice of who to be in the face of such conflict.