Ultimate Online Wrestling Season 2 Ch-7 - Part 1: Friday Night Clash 13!


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Atlanta, GA
48 Hours Ago
ANN News Corporate Headquarters

The liberal elites of the Burner Broadcasting Network board members and the ANN News Network CEO sat at a large meeting table anxiously drinking coffee while attempting to swallow down some breakfast scones into their nervous stomachs. It had been one major breaking headline after the next since the Rebels of Society had broken into the federal I.C.E detention center in Texas and freed the migrant prisoners. Sleep was a commodity that was running on short supply from the top to the bottom of the news networks entire staff. Around the clock coverage of the Rebels uncanny prison break and their brazen boarder wall crossing in order to help the imprisoned migrant workers back to Mexico had been their focus until word from M.O.X News came out that the R.O.S leader had been captured and was being sent to Guantanamo Bay without trial.

The leader had been identified as native born American Ares Metaxas and he was quickly declared a domestic terrorist by U.S. President Ronald McStrump. ANN had tried to spin the story to make Ares look like a revolutionary fighter, fighting for those too weak to protect themselves. Their efforts however were in vain as M.O.X News dropped another bombshell when they released video footage of pro wrestler and feminist icon Valora Salinas taking part in the I.C.E prison break in and escape in Texas. Suddenly the woman who had been declared a national hero and had been awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom almost a year ago for her role during the North Korean crisis was now being labeled as terrorist.

Conservative media networks including M.O.X. News were having a field day and the more liberal minded ANN News team was on the defensive until they received a strange phone call from the CEO of Hammer Industries, Jeremiah Vastrix. Jeremiah had told them he had video evidence of criminal human rights violations committed by the sitting U.S. President and wanted to arrange a meeting with the news network. The meeting however was supposed to take place over an hour ago and the group at the table was becoming more and more frustrated by the minute until the office door swung open and the trillionaire cyborg stepped into the room. Jeremiah was dressed in an expensive suit and looked the most professional he’d ever looked in his life thanks to the help of his Fiancé Olivia and his mother who’d picked the outfit out for him.

Jed Burner: Damn it son! You’re over an hour late! I’m trying to run a television network here and Mr. Barrett is losing viewers to Rupert Mudcock and M.O.X News by the 24-hour news cycle! You told us you had a big story! Well, Where the fuck is it?

Vastrix: I’m sorry gentlemen… balancing Hammer Industries, rebuilding Los Angeles and Seattle, and my professional wrestling career is proving more difficult than I could ever have imagined. Plus, who knew planning a wedding could be so time consuming! WOMEN! Am I right people?

The room laughed a little and then eased up as they realized that Jeremiah’s life was a hundred times more complicated and his free time more limited than they could even possibly comprehend. Whatever Jeremiah had to show them had to be incredibly important and fantastically incriminating in order for him to take the time out of his busy schedule to arrange this meeting. Everyone sat up in their seats as Jeremiah’s cybernetic eye protruded outward from the robotic portion of his skull’s eye socket. A SSD card popped out of a small slot and dropped into the palm of his right hand. The sight of watching this action be performed by Jeremiah unsettled the “norms” in the room which amused Jeremiah. The cyborg cracked a smile as he turned around to face the smart television behind him in order to insert the memory card into its memory slot.

Vastrix: What I’m about to show you is video footage that I took myself from inside a factory in Ashland, Nebraska at the U.S. Military Base located there. I’m not going to go into why or even how I know the President of United States or what I was doing there. That I’m afraid is classified for both our benefits… however I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t blow the whistle on what the government is doing under his orders as Commander and Chief.

Jeremiah hit play and soon a first person point of view video from his cybernetic eye recordings began to play on the television. During his time at the Atalar Robotics factory, Jeremiah had managed to record footage of the Centurion armored robots and the Eagle Eye drones being assembled by the missing male migrant workers. The footage also included the President and his inner console barking orders and surveying the progress being made on the massive endeavor to build these autonomous military units.

Jed Burner: What in Sam Hill are we looking at here Mr. Vastrix?

Vastrix: This is a top secret facility producing the autonomous weapons of the future for the American Military. It’s also what they plan to use to spy on, control, and stop the civil unrest and riots that have been taking place in our country for past year.

Mr. Barret: All well in good Mr. Vastrix. This is news, don’t get me wrong, but how does this incriminate the President? The military industrial complex isn’t anything new, and in order for them to use these things on American soil means the Congress and the Senate would have to vote in favor of it. No one in their right mind would ever vote for something like that. It be career suicide!

Jeremiah let out a loud sigh as the two most powerful men in the room had completely overlooked the incriminating evidence in the video. He rewound and paused the footage at a point where three migrant workers were attaching a Centurion head to a robotic torso. He then turned around to face the room and pointed at the workers with a frustrated arm gesture.

Vastrix: Look closer Mr. Barret. Do you see anything strange about these workers? There all Hispanic! You want to know why? These are the missing male migrants you’d reported on weeks ago and have conveniently forgotten about now! This is where they’ve been taken, forced to work non-stop without pay, to build these robots of oppression they plan to use against the public!

Jed Burner: My God… how did I miss that…

Mr. Barret: How do we know these aren’t just good hardworking Americans who’ve legally immigrated here?

*Jeremiah pulled out a large yellow folder from inside his suit jacket and tossed it onto the ANN meeting table. As the folder hit the table, multiple identity documents of the workers spilled out onto the desk in front of the board, and the mustachioed liberal media mogul Jed Burner.

Vastrix: I used our incredible resources at Hammer Industries to identify and pull the records of as many of the workers as I could from my facial recognition scans. Not a single one of them is a U.S. citizen. Even if McStrump denies the fact that he’s been making these people work as slaves to build these things, it will still look bad that he’s been having illegals working for the military. I can’t imagine a way he or his staff could possibly spin this in a positive way for him.

Jed Burner: We’re talking an impeachable offense here Jeremiah… this could be our chance to get this unqualified moron out of office once and for all!

Vastrix: You’re damn right it is…

Mr. Barret:* Are you willing to go on the record?

Vastrix: I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t ready to be identified as the whistle blower… it won’t take McStrump or his cronies long to figure out where the footage came from. I’m already not on the best of terms with them right now anyway…

Mr. Barret: You realize this will put your life in grave danger right? Mr. McStrump is a powerful man with plenty of resources to keep you from testifying in front of congress.

Vastrix: Trust me Mr. Barret, I’m used to being hunted… all I ask is that you give me time to get back down to Mexico before you air the video footage. I don’t want to be detained in the U.S. and it will be harder for McStrump to get to me once I’m down there.

The ANN CEO got up out of his chair and extended his hand to Jeremiah. The two of them shook hands as Jeremiah tried to act professional with the older gentlemen twice his age. He couldn’t wait to be out of his suit and out of the country for that matter. All of these responsibilities he’d acquired since his father’s death we’re mentally exhausting. All Jeremiah really wanted to do was to be a professional wrestler and to win the admiration of wrestling fans around the world. Sure it felt good to help people and to use his incredible power and wealth to make a positive difference in the world, but nothing made him feel more alive and happier than competing in the ring.

Mr. Barret: Agreed. Thank you Mr. Vastrix. You’ve done the right thing here. Best of luck in your match this week and thank you for all your doing for Los Angeles and Seattle. You’re a real hero. I don’t care what the naysayers and haters say about you or Hammer Industries. I sleep easier at night knowing that the future is in such capable hands.


Washington, D.C.
24 Hours Ago
Front Lawn of the White House

President McStrump stood outside of the White House at his presidential podium to address the press on the capturing of Rebel of Societies leader Ares Metaxas. McStrump took the time to boast about his capture and how he was taking a zero tolerance approach to domestic terrorism and civil unrest. However, when it came time for the Q&A portion, the President was bombarded with questions concerning the ANN special report on the top secret Ashland military base and the Atalar robotics factory much to the Presidents dismay.

President McStrump: Sorry Jenifer, but that’s fake news! Go back to your corrupt news organization and tell them to print the truth! This video footage is nothing more than computer generated graphics and lies! The liberal elites in the country are so desperate to have me removed from office that their pouring millions now into fake smear videos to try to make me look bad! Why on earth would I force illegals to work for our military? Our military has the smartest and bestest people in the world working for them!

Jennifer: So Mr. President what exactly are you claiming to be fake? The existence of the robotics factory itself? The migrant workers being forced to assemble these autonomous drones? Or that not only did you know about this project, but it was you yourself that was spearheading it?

President McStrump: Jenifer that question is so nasty, so out of line, that I can’t even begin to answer it! If you want to believe everything you see and hear that comes out of the ANN fake news propaganda machine, then go for it! However, I’m not going to sit here and answer questions about something that is clearly bogus and being used to attack me for political reasons!

Jennifer: Sir the video was released by the CEO of Hammer Industries Jeremiah Vastrix who states he personally recorded the video while working on a special mission you personally hired him and Hammer Industries for.

President McStrump: Jeremiah Vastrix is liar! I can’t think of a more fitting poster boy for the Liberal Elite. This man didn’t work for his money! He inherited his wealth and his company from his father and from what I’ve heard he’s running the company into the ground! Their bleeding trillions! Trillions! Not billions, but Trillions with a capital T! Of course not everyone can build a successful business empire by themselves like me! It takes a brilliant business savvy mind to do that!

Jennifer: Harsh words for a man who is using his personal wealth and his company’s funds to rebuild two major cities that were destroyed under your presidential watch. Are you denying that you hired Mr. Vastrix and Hammer Industries for a top secret mission?

President McStrump: Hah! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! The U. S. Military doesn’t need help from a cybernetic playboy or Hammer Industries for that matter! That news is so fake it blows my mind! It’s all one big lie people! Next question! Yes, Chris! Go!

Chris: Chris Dingleberry from M.O.X news Mr. President. “Some people” have said that you should think about declaring martial law in all 50 states since the Rebels of Society attacked the I.C.E detention center in Texas and blew multiple massive holes into our southern boarder wall. Do you think that you would consider such an action?

President McStrump: Well yes, Chris. If these “Red Vest” protestors don’t settle down and return back to their homes, then we may be forced to declare “A State of Emergency”. This means suspending the constitution and putting our military in the streets to keep the peace. I don’t want to do it, but the reality is the America we knew before the North Korean Missile attacks is not the America we’re living in today. People are angry out there and I get that, but rioting in the streets and protesting my Presidency isn’t going to put food on their tables and fix all their problems! Sometimes people need to learn to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps with hard work and determination!

The journalists present at the Q&A erupted into a large uproar after hearing the strange question from the M.O.X reporter and the U.S. Presidents audacious reply. It was almost as if the M.O.X reporter had been paid to ask the question by the President himself. McStrump puffed out his chest and attempted to look tough for the cameras. During his candidacy he portrayed himself as the “Law and Order” candidate and the protests and riots in the streets we’re making him look weak. It was clear the President was considering heavy handed solutions to put a stop to it once and for all.

Jenifer: Mr. President you can’t be serious? You’ve captured Rebels of Society leader and most of the Red Vest protestors are just displaced Americans who’ve had to move east due to the nuclear fallout. What exactly is the threat? Can’t the damaged boarder wall just be repaired? It seems to me like your considering this just because you feel threatened by the growing number of angry citizens who want you impeached from office.

President: I wasn’t talking to you Jennifer; I was talking to Chris! Can we get this woman out of here please? She’s clearly delusional! Someone get her some iodine pills; I think she’s suffering from radiation sickness from all the time she’s spent reporting from the dead zone in California.

Suddenly two secret service members grabbed the female ANN reporter and dragged her away from the rest of the reporters before handcuffing her and throwing her into a black sedan. The two agents then drove off while McStrump distracted the rest of the press with more outlandish statements about bringing back civility in America by any means necessary.


Mexico City, Mexico
6 Hours Ago
Rupert Mudcocks Office

The obese media mogul and owner of the M.O.X News Network Rupert Mudcock rolled down the hallway on his shiny red mobility scooter while talking on his smart phone. The owner of Ultimate Wrestling really had to work overtime since Brawl at the Wall 2 to iron out all the issues Valora’s role in the Red Vest I.C.E prison break had caused. Even though the old man would never admit it, Valora was his number one-star athlete on his roster and the reason that Ultimate Wrestling was selling out every venue they’d visited for the past year. Valora being in prison or dead would be a huge blow to his wrestling federation and not one he could afford to absorb if he wanted the wrestling portion of his business to stay in the black and not bleed into the red.

Thankfully his close relationship with U.S. President McStrump had allowed him the ability to smooth things over and stop McStrump from ordering a hit squad to go after Valora on Mexican soil. Rupert was one of the few people that had the Presidents ear and could actually get him to calm down and listen to reason. Tensions between Mexico and United States were high after they refused to arrest and turn over Valora to the CIA. The President was considering putting boots on the ground in Mexico, but Rupert stressed that a war between the two nations would not only be devastating in terms of cost of life, but also economically. The markets had been a mess since the North Korean Missile attack and unemployment was on the rise due the sudden loss of GDP the U.S. had taken with Los Angeles and Seattle having been wiped from the map.

The President agreed for now to leave Valora trapped in Mexico, which meant Rupert had to move his traveling circus down south of the boarder to Mexico in order to keep Valora on the wrestling card. As much as it pained him to actually have to set foot in a country he considered in some regards to be a 3rd world nation, the thought of losing money from not having Valora on the card made him want hurl his expensive gourmet lunch all over the floor.

Rupert: Yes, Mr. President I thought the press conference went well. Yes, I agree, it’s time to ban ANN reporters from the press meetings. There not a legitimate news network anyway! Haha yes, yes I know you’re a busy man sir. {SNIFF} {SNIFF} what in… Mr. President I have to call you back... No, no just a sanitation issue… you wouldn’t believe what it’s like down here. Absolutely disgusting!

Rupert hung up the phone as he covered his nose and mouth due to the horrible shit smell emanating from the locker rooms and his personal office. Rupert’s fat face began to grow red as his blood pressure elevated higher and higher with each every second that passed. He stopped his rascal scooter just in front of his door and opened it to find the donkey LuLu Biggs had left in his office from his all night bender from the night before. His office carpeting was full of donkey droppings and the Mexican burrow had found his way into his priceless whiskey collection and was lapping up the barrel age bourbon that it had knocked over onto the floor. Rupert’s face began to shake like crazy and it looked as if the old man was about to have stroke as his double chin jiggled with rage.


The loud food steps of Rupert’s Vice President and second in command Allen Anderson could be heard down the hallway as he rushed over to his fat geriatric billionaire boss. Allen’s life had been complicated since his firing from Hammer Industries by Jeremiah Vastrix. For year’s he’d worked for Jeremiah’s father Michael Vastrix when the company was known only as “War Hammer” and the corporations main source of income was war profiteering and sowing chaos around the world. Now Allen’s life had been reduced to being barked at by Rupert Mudcock and spying on Jeremiah for Cardinal Mariano Urizar and the rest of the Hammer Industries board members who were minority shareholder and vehemently against Jeremiah’s new direction.

To say the mighty had fallen in the mind of Mr. Anderson would be an understatement. Allen reached Rupert’s office completely out of breath, hunched over, with sweat dripping down his bald shiny head. As always the eccentric and evil business man was dressed in $10’000 three-piece suit and was completely clean shaven having just visited a men’s spa in the city before arriving for work. Allen looked up having at this point noticed the awful stench in the room to see the donkey now shitting a fresh turd onto Rupert’s office floor.

Allen: What is…

Rupert: That’s what I’d like to fucking know! What the fuck is this?

Allen: It… ah… appears to be a Mexican Burrow sir. A type of donkey.

Rupert: I know it’s a fucking Donkey! What’s it doing shitting in my office you fucking imbecile? How did It fucking get here? Why is it here? When did it get here? These are the answers that I’m fucking looking for!

Allen: I… I don’t know sir, but I’ll get to the bottom of this! I’ll have my men review the security camera footage from last night. Whoever is responsible for this outrage will dealt with I can assure you!

Rupert: You’d better! Now get this fucking thing out of my office before I fucking have it shot and dragged out!

Rupert baked up his mobility scooter crashing it into his office wall and then powered it forward turning it around in order to exit the office. The old man was clearly livid as he rolled down the hallway screaming obscenities and cursing the nation of Mexico all the while. Allen pressed his right hand up against his forehead and messaged his temples clearly frustrated with the whole fiasco he now found himself in. The donkey let out a loud hee-haw before smiling and oddly gummy smile at Allen.

Allen: Jesus fucking Christ… what the fuck is going on around here?


Strangle Hold by Ted Nugent began to play inside the Estadio Azteca stadium located in the massive metropolis of Mexico City. The live feed of an enormous capacity crowd of 87,523 people on their feet waving their Valora Salinas signs around and flashing their Valora apparel came into full view as the camera man panned around the outdoor stadium used mostly for soccer. It was clear that Valora had incredible support from the Mexican wrestling fans and it gave the show a pay per view level atmosphere for Friday Night Clash 13 from the get go. After the pyrotechnic show ignited and then dissipated the live feed cut to the announcer team of Chris Rodgers, Scott Slade, and former wrestler Kronin Reinhardt.

Scott Slade: Hello Ultimate Wrestling fans from around the world! We are here live from Mexico City, Mexico for Friday Night Clash! We’ve got an incredible show booked for you tonight and… and well just listen to these fans!

An epic “Valora” chant began to echo inside the Estadio Azteca as the thousands and thousands of diehard Salinas fans voiced their support for the veteran wrestler. It was obvious that the Mexican fans wanted to make it clear that all of Mexico had her back and that they wouldn’t let the U.S. government and President McStrump bully them into giving her up to them.

Kronin: The support for Ms. Salinas is strong! After the risk she took to help free those migrant workers how could they not be chanting her name?

Chris Rodgers: Will be lucky to make it out of this shit hole alive! If the food and water doesn’t kill us the cartels will! These people are nuts! Just listen to how they worship Salinas a known terrorist and criminal! She should be locked up for what she did to those federal I.C.E agents in Texas! She deserves a holding cell in Guantanamo Bay right next to Ares Metaxas! I can’t believe Mr. Mudcock hasn’t fired her!

Scott Slade: No he didn’t fire her Chris, in fact he did the opposite and moved the entire show down to Mexico just to have her here tonight on the card! Valora is set to take on Takuma Sato and Jeremiah Vastrix in tonight’s main event for the number one contender spot for the Ultimate Wrestling Franchise Championship!

Kronin: That’s right Scott! It’s a triple threat match between three of the best fighters on the roster! No holds barred, no count out, pin falls anywhere! It’s going to be an all-out war! You do not want to miss this match!

Scott Slade: We all know Valora Salinas wants another shot at the Franchise title belt after losing to Huckleberry at Brawl at the Wall 2. This is her second chance to get her title back and I don’t think she’s going to let it slip through her fingers.

Chris Rodgers: She can want it, but it isn’t going to happen! Valora Salinas is on the backend of her career and if the reports from M.O.X news are true she suffered some injuries during her little mission with those moronic Rebels!

Scott Slade: Well will have to wait and see how accurate those reports really are, but for now my money is on Valora. Takuma has been on a roll as of late, but with this almost NFL home game like support from the Mexican fans Valora is going to be tough to beat.

Kronin: I have to agree Scott. I’m being told by our producer though that our first match tonight between LuLu Biggs and the Franchise Champion Huckleberry is about to get underway! Let’s head to ring where Rose Johnston is waiting to announce our first competitors of the evening.





The live feed cut away from the announcer team to the ring where the beautiful Rose Johnston stood dressed in a striking red dress ready to start the show. The wrestling diva had on sparkling diamond earing’s and a beautiful sterling silver and topaz necklace around her neck. In her right hand was her custom diamond bedazzled microphone which she lifted toward her freshly red painted lips before taking a deep breath.

Rose Johnston: The following match is an exhibition non-title match set for one fall! All rules will be in effect and the standard twenty-minute time limit will be enforced! Introducing first to the ring from Dublin, Georgia! Weighing in at 151 pounds and standing at a height of five feet, nine inches. He is the Ultimate Wrestling Franchise Champion! He is HUCKLEBERRY!!!

“Hillbilly Delux”, by Brooks & Dunn began to play on the stadiums sound system as Huckleberry walked out onto the stage to an onslaught of boos and Spanish curses. The little Appalachian hillbilly had his Franchise title belt draped over his shoulder and was chewing on a large piece of straw. To many of the Mexican wrestling fans, Huckleberry represented everything they hated about American culture and his victory over Valora at Brawl at the Wall 2 wasn’t helping his popularity any ether. Huckleberry ignored the negative response from the fans and made his way down the ramp and through the aisle way before sliding into the ring. Huckleberry’s music cut off and “Victory” by Notorious B.I.G and Puff Daddy began to play on the sound system. LuLu Biggs and Slick Mick walked out onto the stage with a group of skimpily dressed women in high heels dancing all around the two of them as they both lit up two large blunts and began smoking profusely.

Rose Johnston: His opponent, being accompanied by his manager Slick Mick and his entourage of herpes invested ho’s, quite possibly the fattest most disgusting man on earth! Weighing at a grotesque 600 pounds and standing tall at six feet, six inches, LuLu! BIGGS!!!

Scott Slade: Wow…

Chris Rodgers: Rose Johnston knows how to hold a grudge…

Kronin: She sure does. I don’t blame her. This Biggs character is something else. I heard from numerous roster members that he trashed the locker rooms last night. I’m not going to go into detail over the nature of the circumstances, but I assure you they were disgusting.

Scott Slade: Well he’d better pull his shit together because he’s about to go up against the Franchise! Huckleberry! One of the most unpredictable wrestlers we’ve ever seen!

Biggs and Slick ignored Rose and made their way down the ramp and through the aisle slapping high fives with the Mexican fans who seemed supportive of the large pimp and his ho’s. Once at the steel steps, Biggs stopped his showboating, and focused in on his opponent as he climbed up onto the ring and entered the squared circle. Referee Bob Sigro had a few stern words with both men who’d been known in the past to bend the rules in order to win. He then signaled to the bell keeper who sounded the bell shortly after officially starting the wrestling match.

Chris Rodgers: Alright were finally getting this thing started! The sooner were done here the sooner I’m back in America where it’s safe!

Kronin: Right, because America is the safest country in the world…

Chris Rodgers: Damn tooting it is!

Kronin: Tooting?

Scott Slade: Huckleberry rushing Biggs and Oooooh!

Huckleberry ran straight at LuLu in an attempt to take the former Sumo wrestler head on. The Huckster paid the price as he slammed into the six-hundred-pound juggernaut and collapsed to the ring mat with a thud. The fans let out a roar as LuLu started laughing at the little Appalachian as he tried to shake the cob webs from his head after experiencing what it’s like to hit an immovable opponent. LuLu motioned for the Franchise Champion to get up as he chastised the little man in front of the hostile Mexican crowd. Huckleberry attempted to get back up, but just as he did, Biggs bolted into the ropes, and nailed the Hillbilly in the chest and jaw with a massive running shoulder block that resulted once again with the Huckster down on the wrestling mat trying to regain his senses.

Kronin: You know that I respect Huckleberry as opponent and I’ll be the first to tell you not underestimate him. You usually can’t judge this guy by looking at his size, however LuLu Biggs has some 450 pounds on him.

Scott Slade: You’re right Kronin, Huckleberry seems to be struggling against a true heavyweight in LuLu Biggs.

Chris Rodgers: He’ll be lucky to walk out of this one not crushed flat as a pancake if you ask me!

Biggs once again began to show boat as Huckleberry tried to get back on his feet. The big pimp walked over to his corner where two of his hookers had gotten up on the ring mat. One of them handed him his blunt while the other lady lit the marijuana filled cigar. Biggs instantly began puffing and inhaling the rich THC smoke into his lungs and then exhaled it all in one big poof of smoke that made him look like a fire breathing dragon. The Mexican fans erupted and some began to scream “Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!” excited by LuLu’s swagger and lack of respect for Huckleberry.

Chris Rodgers: Can you believe this guy? Smoking reefer in the middle of the match? What hell is he thinking?

Kronin: He doesn’t strike me as an individual who thinks about consequences…

Scott Slade: Is pot even legal in Mexico?

Kronin: Again does he seem like someone who cares about the law?

Scott Slade: Point taken Kronin.

Huckleberry was finally back on his feet and immediately put up his dukes like drunk ready for a fist fight in a bar. LuLu stared at the hillbilly and then humored him as he put up his fists as well eagerly looking forward to a slugfest with his smaller opponent. The fans roared as the two met in the center of the ring like two boxers and began to exchange punches until Biggs hit a massive punch straight to the jaw of the Huckster that sent the little man stumbling back into the ring ropes. With Huckleberry staggered, Biggs took the opportunity to sprint in for a massive clothesline, but the little Appalachian ducked underneath and LuLu’s momentum carried him up over the top rope and onto the hard concrete floor with a massive thud. The fans booed as the Huckster turned around, hopped up onto the top rope, and sprung up off of it. Huckleberry came down hard with a flying double foot stomp on LuLu’s massive belly pushing the fat in his midsection into his ribs and organs. The maneuver sent the fans into a frenzy as LuLu tossed up his spicy lunch all over his face.

Scott Slade: Oh my God!

Kronin: That’s what Huckleberry has to do! Use his speed and LuLu’s stupidity against him! I know Huckleberry isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s a clever little wrestler! That was a nice move right there!

Chris Rodgers: The man’s lunch is all over his face! He puked all over himself! Hah! This is awesome!

Scott Slade: Someone needs to let Biggs know it’s probably best to skip the fajitas before your match.

LuLu attempted to try to get back up, but received a kick straight in his ass from Huckleberry which caused the big man to lose his balance and fall back onto the floor. Biggs attempted to wipe the vomit from his eyes as the fans screamed at him in Spanish to get to his feet and fight back. Referee Bob Sigro who’d already started the count was screaming for both fighters to get back in the ring. Once again Biggs attempted to get back up and this time Huckleberry dropped him with a sharp knee to the face before mindfully getting back in the ring at the count of seven. Biggs was surely going to be counted out until his manager and partner in crime Slick Mick helped him back up and into the ring at a count of nine and half seconds.

Scott Slade: Wow that was close guys! LuLu was almost counted out right there, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Biggs is struggling.

Kronin: Huckleberry is taking the fight to the big man. There might not be a ton of grey matter between those hillbilly ears of his, but at least he hasn’t killed all his brain cells with drugs like Biggs has!

Chris Rodgers: Hah! Good one Kronin! If you ask me this Biggs is a real bad influence on all our young fans! Blatantly smoking reefer and parading around with prostitutes! Just say no kids! Just say no!

Huckleberry grabbed Biggs and tried to toss him into the ropes, but the big man planted his right leg into the mat like an elephant and reversed it sending the Hillbilly in the ropes instead with incredible force. Huckleberry bounced off the ropes and received a massive elbow to the face that took the Appalachian clean off his feet and back down to the ring mat. The fans roared and began to chant “Pimp Daddy” in English as LuLu bounced off the ropes and leaped into the air attempting a pancake slam that came up empty when Huckleberry rolled out the way at the last second.

Scott Slade: Oooh! Biggs comes up empty!

Kronin: I don’t think he’s ever successfully landed that move on an opponent since he started his career here.

Chris Rodgers: Batting 0% with it! Hah!

Kronin: I’m sure most of his opponents know if he crushes you with that pancake body slam it’s over. Good night! You aren’t getting up from that! So they’re probably weary of it and Huckleberry did a great job to avoid it right there.

Scott Slade: That has to really do some damage to LuLu’s ribs…

Kronin: All that fat is pushed up into them. It’s probably not a great feeling Scotty.

Biggs attempted to get up again, but once again Huckleberry was back on his feet and ready to go on the attack as he hit a crazy FameAsser smashing LuLu’s head in-between the mat and his skinny right hillbilly ass-cheek. The fans booed as he quickly went for a cover and hooked LuLu massive right leg using all of his strength. Referee Bob Sigro dropped down for the count as quickly as he could as the fans shouted for LuLu to kick out.

Scott Slade: The Huckster with a pin! ONE! TWO!! NO!!!

Kronin: LuLu Biggs with a powerful kick out! The man’s not ready to give up!

Huckleberry got to his feet quickly and made his way to the turnbuckle where he hopped up onto the top rope and then launched himself into the air with a moonsault. Biggs had just gotten back up when he looked up to see the Huckster flying at him and had no time to react. Huckleberry took the big man down to the mat and covered him for a pin again. The angry fans booed like holy hell as referee Bob Sigro once again dropped down for the count.

Scott Slade: Moonsault from the top turnbuckle! What athleticism from the Huckster!

Kronin: Cover! ONE! TWO!! NO!!!

Scott Slade: Biggs digs down deep and finds a way to kick out after being completely caught off-guard there!

Chris Rodgers: What a match!

Both wrestlers needed a breather after getting back to their feet and the Huckster took the time to approach Biggs with a handshake catching the rotund pimp off-guard. Biggs slapped the hillbilly’s hand away from him and kicked him straight in the gut before clobbering the Huckster in the back of the head and neck area with a forearm smash. Biggs then grabbed hold of the little Appalachian and whipped him into the ropes and attempted a powerful clothesline. The huckster used his agility and uncanny awareness to duck the attack and then bounced off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring before sliding through LuLu’s legs underneath him. The fans continued to boo Huckleberry as he got up hastily back to his feet before the slower Biggs could fully turn around and popped him with repeated closed fisted right hands with everything he had.

Scott Slade: Look at the Huckster go! It looked like Biggs was getting the upper hand there for a split second and then boom! Just like that Huckleberry is back in the driver’s seat!

Kronin: Look at him beat Biggs back into the corner! Awesome stuff!

The Hucksters attack backed Biggs up against the turnbuckle as the Huckster climbed up the ropes on top of LuLu and began striking him in the face with hard right hand shots busting his eye lid open. The blood trickled into LuLu’s mouth and shocked him back into the fight as he powerfully shoved Huckleberry off of him sending him flying a good six feet back onto the wrestling mat. The fans roared back, happy to see LuLu Biggs get out of a very precarious situation.

Scott Slade: My God! Did you see the power of Biggs right there?

Kronin: That’s that Sumo strength we talked about earlier! However, Biggs is cut just above the eye and that’s going to make it difficult for him to see guys. He’s going to want to keep this fight in close quarters the rest of this match because if Huckleberry can get in his blind spot he could end this thing with a big move.

Chris Rodgers: Yeah keep him close and sit on him! Sounds like a great strategy to me!

Biggs stumbled out the of the corner still trying to shake the cobwebs from the beating he took at the hands of the Huckster, when Huckleberry slid out of the ring. The little hillbilly then ran over to the corner of the ring, hopped up onto the mat, and climbed to the top turnbuckle. He then reached down into his jockstrap and pulled out a flask of moonshine which he downed before tossing it into the crowd and leaping into the air. LuLu turned around just in time to absorb an insane missile drop kick to the face that knocked him unconscious to the mat. The fans erupted in a chorus of boos and Huckleberry scrambled for a cover on Biggs.

Chris Rodgers: Holy shit!

Kronin: Missile drop kick from the top rope! What a maneuver and now the cover!

All 3 Annoucners: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!

Scott Slade: I can’t believe it! What a victory for Huckleberry!

Huckleberry jumped to his feet and started celebrating with himself by doing his customary Appalachian Jig. His Franchise title was brought over to him by Referee Bob Sigro and who raised his hand high in the air signifying him as the winner of the match.

Rose Johnston: The winner of this match, your Franchise Champion! HUCKLEBERRY!

Slick Mick and the hookers stormed into the ring and began providing assistance to beaten and bloody LuLu Biggs as “Hillbilly Delux”, by Brooks & Dunn began to play on the stadiums sound system. Huckleberry however didn’t leave the ring and instead stuck around until Biggs was back on his feet before pulling out a strange looking coupon from his tights.

Scott Slade: I don’t know why, but Huckleberry is sticking around and LuLu Biggs does not look like he’s in a good mood after taking that crazy kick to the face!

Chris Rodgers: What the hell is Huckleberry doing? What’s in his hand? Can we get a zoomed in shot please?

The camera man did as he was requested and zoomed in on the piece of paper that appeared to be a coupon for 60% off any hooker from Biggs and Micks Brothels. The crude coupon had a sexy woman on it spreading her legs spread eagle with the 60% off logo between her legs blocking her privates. Huckleberry was yelling something at Biggs as he finally came to his senses after putting his blunt in-between his lips and taking a little smoke break.

Scott Slade: It looks like a Coupon for some sort of adult activities that I don’t wish to discuss on air. Say’s it’s from the LuLu Clause whatever the hell that is!

Kronin: I think he’s trying to solicit LuLu for one of his prostitutes.

Chris Rodgers: Well hell! He ain’t getting laid any other way! Hahaha!

Biggs looked at Huckleberry with a surprised look and then nodded at his former opponent before sending one of the girls over to him. Huckleberry put his arm around her and then extended his hand out to Biggs in a friendly gesture. Biggs receptively shook hands with the Hillbilly shocking the fans and the announcer team.

Kronin: I am shocked Scott! Biggs has been a sore loser since he first stepped into an U.O.W ring, but it seems like Huckleberry earned his respect in some shape or form.

Scott Slade: Anything can happen in Ultimate Wrestling and it sure looks like the unlikely just happened here! This could be the start of unlikely alliance!

Chris Rodgers: I’m being told by our producer that something is going down backstage! Guy’s we got cut back there now!




The live feed transitioned backstage outside of Rupert Mudcock’s office where Evolution and Metamorphosis were pounding on the door demanding Rupert open it. It was clear that the tag team was angry and their unhinged personalities made them dangerous to deal with when they were in this type of mood. Someone from inside the office peered through the blinds and then disappeared only further infuriating them. Both wrestlers were dressed in strange looking clothing that looked as if they were homemade which was the first time anyone had seen ether wrestler out of their wrestling attire.

Chris Rodgers: Man can’t those two morons take a hint? Mr. Mudcock’s a busy man! He doesn’t time to deal with their problems! He’s got a news organization and a wrestling federation to run!

Scott Slade: I don’t think these are the type of people you ignore or say no to.

Kronin: No, these are the type of people who belong locked up in a mental institution.

When no one answered the door, Evolution kicked the door in sending splintered wood and glass all over Rupert’s office. Rupert was on the phone and Allen looked as if he was still trying to get the Donkey Biggs had put in Mr. Mudcock’s office out of the room by feeding it a carrot. Evolution and Metamorphosis seemed caught off guard by the Mexican burrow and the awful stench emanating from shit stained carpeting. The whole scene looked ludacris like something out of a cartoon or slap stick comedy. Metamorphosis grabbed Allen Anderson by the throat and slammed up against the wall of the office as Evolution moved in toward Rupert with sinister look on his face.

Rupert: You stop right there! Don’t you dare lay finger on me or you’ll never wrestle in North America again!

Evolution stopped dead in his tracks inches away from the tubby media mogul. It was the first time anyone had gotten Evolution to stop or back down from whoever he was attempting to hurt. For the first time since stepping foot in his office Rupert was happy about the poop order coming from the donkey’s droppings as the threat of Evolution inches from his face had caused him to soil his depends diaper. The old man however was not about to let his incontinence stand in his way of verbally dressing down the strange large snake skinned man.


Rupert: That’s why you kicked my door down and barged into my office like a couple of loose cannon cowboys? Look around you, why do you think there’s a fucking donkey in my office? You think you were the only one Biggs did this too?


Rupert: You want a match against Biggs next week? You got it! You better wipe the floor with him too for what he did! Allen told me that you and your friend here were the real deal! This is your chance to prove it! Next week you two defend your title belts against LuLu Biggs and any partner he chooses! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!

Evolution slammed his fist on Rupert’s desk cracking the wood with his powerful arm strength. Metamorphosis released his grip on Anderson’s throat and as soon as he did the V.P. of Ultimate Wrestling began coughing, choking, and gasping for air. Evolution then pointed directly at Rupert before having the final say.

Evolution: Speak to me again like that old man and I’ll drag you all the way to my sacred temple just to drop you in my snake pit! Brother! It’s time to go!

Metamorphosis made his way to the door and Evolution was following him until he stopped and stared at the donkey. Without any warning the massive seven foot four juggernaut grabbed LuLu’s donkey by the neck in a headlock and quickly snapped its neck using his incredibly muscular arms. The Donkey let out a loud scream before collapsing to the floor of the office much to the horror of Mr. Mudcock. Evolution then turned around to face Rupert one last time before leaving.

Evolution: Don’t say I never did anything for you, you old fart…

After Evolution and Metamorphosis had left the room Rupert turned his anger toward Allen once again. Allen could feel the rage permeating from Rupert’s pours as he lit into Allen once again for the second time today.

Rupert: Allen where the hell do find these psychopaths? Are you trying to get us all killed!

Allen: Sir I…

Rupert: Peta is going to have a field day with us now! Get someone in here to drag this thing out of here and SHUT THOSE DAMN CAMERAS OFF NOW!

Scott Slade:Fans, ladies and gentlemen I apologize for what you just saw… I’m speechless at the cruelty we just witnessed. That poor innocent animal…

Chris Rodgers: This all LuLu’s fault! Why did even put that damn animal in Mr. Mudcock’s office in the first place?

Kronin: Something tells me this will not go down well with LuLu Biggs… mark my words.

Click here to read part 2:


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