The Dude (and Dudette) Abides
If you don't know us, I don't blame you; we're the unseen. We are the underbelly of society, forced into the shadows. We are but humble servants. Many call us a family: one Master dog and two human servants. Although we aren't sure how, the Master dog has tricked and trained us to bring her food, walk her, tell her "Good girl!" after she deficates, pet her, clean her, and pay her medical bills.
We fake our happiness for the Master.
She's a mental magician, an absolute mental giant and galactic con artist. We are embarrassed to admit in our latest form of folly, she convinced our cousin to buy her a gluten-free dog cupcake.
She conned us into taking her for a walk by the only dog cupcake factory that exists. With one look from the Master dog my cousin ran inside desperate for the cashier to take her money to give the Master the cupcake she desires.
This isn't new. The look always wins.
In the criminal justice system, Master-dog based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Los Angeles , the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. We need their help. This is our story.
She demands we open it.
We are forced to eat a small piece while she sniffs for poison.
Give it to me, swine!
Ruthless, she puts the icing face-down.
And then bites it whole!
Where did it go?
"There it is!" she says playing peek-a-boo with our emotions.
As a sign of dominance, she refuses to use her paws.
Yet her hunger remains.
- 9 lbs
- Golden brown coat
- Black tail
- Strong shoulders and hind quarters
- Amazing vertical
- Has chosen to respond only by "Apple" or "Asshole" if said in the right tone
Send help soon...we are out of cupcakes.
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If you want to learn more about vanlife, follow us! We will be writing about how we chose our van (and maybe how to choose yours too), how we make money on the road, bring you roadhacks, and, of course, have lots of photos and videos to share :)
Past Vanlife Posts:
- Safe Bay: The Drinking Game invented while living Vanlife
- Must-SEA Photos [28 Photos of the Monterey Bay Aquarium]
- Free-Time Follies [Funny Videos from the Road] Episode 2: When You Get a Queen-Size Memory Foam for Free
- Free-Time Follies [Funny Videos from the Road] Episode 1: A Foolproof Guide to Cooler Cleaning
- Vanlife: 30 Days in 30 Photos
- 3 Weeks In: The Truth About Vanlife
- "Normal" life -> Vanlife: How to Transition (10 Steps)