Life with epilepsy: accepting the reality - day when everything has changed

8개월 전

It was one of those days that after I woke up, the first thing that I saw was rainy weather, cloudy and cold. I thought to myself this is a perfect day to write an article. I can remember that I wanted to make a coffee but first to wash my face. And then...everything goes black. After I've opened my eyes, I was lying on the floor, with my head in my husband's laps...I can remember his peaceful voice calming me down and saying everything is going to be okay. He told me that I was okay and that I should not freak out because something had happened, of course, I immediately asked what. Then he very carefully took the mirror in his hands and before he showed me he just told me, Tina you broke your teeth.
I just smiled because I thought he was joking, but then I looked in the mirror. I cannot describe the feelings that overwhelmed me at this moment. I broke my front teeth. 4 of them. I didn't cry, I was just in shock. Really? That was necessary? It's not enough? When will this end?

My head, my teeth, my face, my body, everything was hurting. I bite my tongue in so many places that I couldn't drink.
I saw a trash can in a bathroom and it was broken. BROKEN! After he found me, I was already in seizure and without teeth, so he doesn't know if I fell and broke my teeth or I squeezed them so hard they just flew away. The seizure was 2 minutes long and a really bad one.

So, what to do when you wake up and you're without teeth? You need to take a picture. :) I looked like a funny lady without the denture.

And then reality hit me. I need to repair this. I can't look like this, I'm starting a job in 3 weeks. At this moment my husband just said please lay down, sleep a little and then we will talk, what are we going to do.

I woke up with a terrible headache and with the hope that I dreamed it all. But no, I was without teeth.
He already looked up for the best dentist here in Graz, but then we saw the price of how much are the cost of repairing teeth. And I need to repair 4 of them 🤦‍♀️
My friends that are also living in Austria came to visit me, for the support, she said 😉 She started to cry when she saw me, so I needed to calm her down :)) We came to the conclusion that I need around 4 thousand euros for repairing my teeth. Repair of the two front teeth should supposedly be free of charge but what about the other two?

I can't describe this feeling when I look myself in the mirror and I see that. It is not sad, it is just crazy.

So, what more can happen? Yes, I understand, I'm a strong person and I can overcome that but it was already hard enough to live without hair, I need to be without teeth too?

So how do you deal with the emotions and with the truth that I will be toothless for a while? And that the money we raised was for a new home not for my teeth?

The key to maintaining our own health is recognizing and timely elimination of negative emotions such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow. The problem is that when we suppress a negative emotion, we create an energy blockage or imbalance in the flow of energy in the body, and this is suppressing our immune system. If the emotion becomes chronic and we don't correct it in a timely manner, it will also have consequences on our physical body and I have to think of another illness as well because it comes out when I'm angry, sad or too stressed. So this must be accepted peacefully. But who accepts this peacefully and how?

For spiritual beings - beings with developed awareness is love one of the most important emotion we need for spiritual development and life. From a spiritual point of view, all good, positive things come from love. And just as all good comes from love, all bad, negative, comes from fear. Whatever we do in life, each of our choices is driven by fear or love, which is often completely contrary to logic and reason. Fear and love, are two basic emotions, among which there is a wide range of emotions, which are really just shades of one or the other. Worry, anger, panic, depression, guilt are different faces of fear. It is common for everyone to feel that something is threatening us, so we feel insecure.
As a result, love keeps us in a state of inner peace and fear in insecurity. Think about how it feels when everything in your world is great, you are calm and in harmony with your surroundings ... With fear in ourselves, we quickly fall into negative thoughts, we are angry, irritable, lonely, impatient - and our bad personality is coming out.

It is harmful to maintain negative emotions in ourselves for a long time and allow a negative emotional-behavioral pattern to be created. Such patterns deplete us and literally push us into illnesses, both physical and mental, and I understand all this, but still, it's hard to accept and understand all these emotions.
That's why I'm writing this. I need to express my feelings. My anger, my fear, my sadness because I'm feeling really insecure now. I didn't count that I can lose my teeth. So, realty hit me again. Directly in the face. :) I'm not 100 percent sure, what else can epilepsy takes from me, but give it time.

73482606_1326259644202006_589795530540843008_n.jpg

I will show you my picture, but please, without any sad comments, only positivity :)

69305527_2552846521474165_6962669477519425536_n.jpg
(These are the only pieces I found, other pieces are probably under the washing machine.)

So, my new goal? Raising money for my new teeth.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

p.s. I can't tell you how lucky I am to be surrounded by people that I love so much. My husband, my family, and friends are always present with positive words and this incredible support they are giving me. Thank you and I love you all :*

Thanks guys for reading, and till the next time 🤘😎

With love, @tinabrezpike

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
STEEMKR.COM IS SPONSORED BY
ADVERTISEMENT
Sort Order:  trending

Fuck babe that fucking sucks.
But that said u are so positive and brave it’s amazing. I appreciate so much you opening up. ❤️ U!

Dang!!! The amount of positivity coming from your writing can be felt and what a story to read when I first wake up and I am waiting for my coffee to brew. Faith not Fear -Love not Fear Amen to that!!
I have an older brother that had epilepsy since I could remember. He is only 4 years older than I, but growing up with an epileptic sibling was tough. I couldn’t image how tough it was on him. He is the toughest person I know mentally. You seem to be the same way. No matter what this disease threw at him he was always in good spirits. Having fun and living life the best he could. Even though he would have a hiccup every now and again. We tried not to treat him any different and Never once did I hear him say “Why me!” At age 14 he had brain surgery to correct it. I remember freaking out about the idea of the doctors opening up his skull while he stayed awake, yet he was calm as could be.
Seeing his strength and yours makes me wonder how I would have taken life has I been diagnosed. Would I have been so positive, so strong, so upbeat, and never wallow in self pity? I sure hope so. I tip my hat to you and wish you best of luck getting them dang teeth fixed. It’s crazy how easily they can be broken but how much it costs to fix is another story. There is no room for negativity in a positive life.
Cheers!!

·

Thank u @jlsplatts ❤ I can't imagine how my husband feels....Every time when he hear something he needs to be prepared, my family also...I saw a video of my seizure and this is not fun to see...I'm so glad he is a medicine worker and he know what he's doing, so is easier for him...so fighting and not giving up is the best medicine😁..I'm moving in new apartment so I need to be positive :) and cheers ;)

Sorry to hear that and good to know that you are able to somehow cope with situation.

This post has been appreciated and featured in daily quality content rewards. Keep up the good work.

·

Thanks guys, your work here is really amazing ❤

Yeah i have epilepsy as well, grand mals take about a week to get over. Did you get any aura warning before the seizure like a feeling of dejavu or nausea/dizziness or heightened sense of smell or sounds?

·

Oh, I so sorry to hear that :/
almost every time auras and strange feelings are present before seizure occurs, but this time nothing...so it was not enough time for me to lay on the floor... :/

·
·

Dang sorry to hear it. I had one like that once and gave myself a black eye. Best thing is to go on a keto diet and avoid all caffeine. Apart from that its seizure medication, never forget to take it. I had a bad medication (oxcarbazepine) that was drying up my joints i had to pressure my doctor to change it since he didn't believe that the medication was giving that side effect. Now i am on levetiracetam and it works really well with no side effects.

Posted using Partiko Android

·
·
·

How long do you have epilepsy? I'm on Lamotrigin now and it was helping but last few months with higher dose I'm having more seizures...
I'm learning to cook keto and is really not so bad...it also help with Crohn's disease...

·
·
·
·

I've had it for about 17 years after having brain surgery for a benign tumor. Initially they had me on dilantin then moved me to oxcarbazepine because it was "safer" lol then it came with more side effects than dilantin. So far keppra (leviteracetam) is doing its job with no side effects other than loss of appetite. I see lamotrigine has quite a few side effects. Hopefully none if those are affecting you. Just keep to keto and plenty of fish oil and no caffeine or alcohol or sugar for that matter. Every little edge up helps.

Posted using Partiko Android

·
·
·
·
·

I'm so sorry to hear that :/ I hope you're ok now ❤ I tried 3 diffrent pills and lamotrigin was helping almost one year...But this year not so much...maybe because it was really stressful year...we will see next week what more can we do...But jeah I'm having this keto diet now and I feel really great...I don't drink alcohol but one cup of coffee a day is important :) I can't function without caffeine 😂 I wish you all the best ❤

·
·
·
·
·
·

Gotta quit the coffee, i had to give it up as well since it caused auras. Vitamin b12 is better energy and it also helps fight against seizures. People low on the various b vitamins tend to get seizures more often. Definitely add that to your supplements.

·
·
·
·
·
·
·

Thank u for your advice ❤ I will try with vitamin b12 🤗

You are awesome Tina!
Thank you for sharing this. Have you looked into CBD or THC for epilepsy? I have read of many getting relief from seizures with CBD. https://www.projectcbd.org/epilepsy-seizure-disorders

Love and positive vibes to you

Upvoted and resteemed :D

·

Heh ;) thank u ❤ I'm taking CBD every day and THC after I'm having seizure, because it calms me down and I can sleep then...my seizures are mostly happening in the morning so I can say CBD helps and my doctor support the idea of taking CBD ;)

Hey @tinabrezpike
Your post has been determined to be Splat-Worthy!!
Therefore You’ve been Splatted by the Splatz Curation Trail
A705B77C-E8CA-4B64-85B0-B6D2A965FBE9.gif
@jlsplatts original
Rewarding Your Original Work
With an Upvote
And
Resteem
If you find posts worthy of a nasty Splatin’ feel free and mention @splatz in your reply to their post. Call me out!!
SPLATZ info

OMG Tina, I am so sorry to read this post but so humbled also by your incredible personality that regularly rises above the tribulations of your life again and again. you could not be more inspirational. Maybe get some bling up in yer grill.
Truly I have to say - only you could look so cute with a mouth of broken teeth! ☺️🤗❤️

·

Hehe @sallybeth23 thank u sooo much for this words ❤❤ I need to say that everytime when I look myself in the mirror I'm laughing like crazy now 😂 I look like my grandmother now, she is happy that she is not the only one in family without teeth 😂
love and kisses ❤❤

Thank you @appreciator

@tinabrezpike. Rarely I don’t know what to say—I don’t know what to say.

You’re stronger than I am, I know I can say that. I won’t mention how much I have invested in my mouth. The last thing I would do is what you’ve done here, you’re inspirational. Still not an adequate response to a story with so much emotion I actually felt it—I can Resteem this for you, though, I know i can do that, and I know I can say a prayer for you, too (I just did).

@splatz. Come help me out here, please. Thank you.

·

On it dog gon’it!!

·

Thank you for your supportive words, that's why I'm sharing my story's with you Guys, because I'm feeling better when I talk about what is happening to me. It's so many people there with similar problems and we don't know what to do with ourselves, but then when I see how much support I'm getting when I'm sharing this with you, it just makes me stronger. I know I have people around me to talk with, but everybody has a own life and problems, and that's why I decided to write about that. Here people choose what they want to read, so I'm not putting you in position when you need to listen about my problems, you decide on your own to read about my life. It helps a lot to write and talk about this and maybe I finnaly found an answer how to accept and overcome everything that is happening to me. Out there are people with worst problems and they need our help, so sharing our story's and supporting each other is in the moment the best thing we can do :) we are strong we just don't know that yet. P.s. I'm waiting for my two new teeth, they said this front two I don't need to pay wuhu 😁and for other two we will see in two weeks how much I need to pay :) one more time...thank u for your prayers, this means a lot to me ❤

Congratulations @tinabrezpike! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You distributed more than 3000 upvotes. Your next target is to reach 4000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!


Congratulations @tinabrezpike!
You raised your level and are now a Minnow!

Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!