I was struck today by how much difficulty I was having clearing my mind of a particular train of thought. It was a trivial train filled with thoughts of the Netflix show Haunting of Hillhouse. I watch ten episodes in two days, so my mind is sorting out what to keep and what to throw away. It kept offering up thoughts of it probably because I’d spent so much time exposing my brain to it.
In between attempts to return to the now, return to my breath and the sound of the raindrops hitting the roof of my car, I thought about how little control I have over my mindscape, considering I couldn’t easily clear it of TV show musings. What about subjects that I attach great emotional importance to? Like if my current job was my great worry, or a recent heartbreak, or trouble with family? Those thought loops can infest your mindscape like weeds and pests.
This realization caused me to appreciate my meditation efforts even more so. WIth practice I can always choose what I invite into my mindscape.