𝖲𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝗏𝖾, 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗓 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝗋, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗀𝗒 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗄. 𝖳𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗍, 𝖨 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗎𝗉 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗆 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖻𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝖼𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗌. 𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗎𝗅𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗆𝗒 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗅𝗒 𝖾𝗆𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗑𝗂𝗆𝗎𝗆 𝗉𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗀𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇, 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇 𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗍𝗌:
Thou shalt make up new silly terminology, such as "Jimmy, Tommy, and Skyke".
Thou shalt say dumb things every once in a while, by defending randomness, matchup luck, or pretending any massively underpowered or overpowered things are fine. Following that, thou shalt have those be extremely mockable statements. Hearthstone uses the tried-and-true "too confusing for new players", EA uses "pride and accomplishment", awetalehu uses "strategicality tactics balance".
- It is worth noting that Chess Evolved Online has already succeeded by taking a piece from each of those statements, by first implementing the "Pride" piece, and then combining "...new players" with "...tactics balance" to accomplish nuance.
- Thou shalt fill the game with stupidly underpowered things.
- Thou shalt have players call you an idiot most of the time, for justified and not-so-justified reasons. As a bonus, thee games where players call the game pay-to-win seem to be even more successful.
- Thou shalt prioritize theme significantly over gameplay.
- Thou shalt have a set of pieces or mechanics completely bomb on arrival.
- Thou shalt devalue people's armies shrewdly. Do not nerf any direct problem piece, but nerf some random other core part of it that other armies also use, so you can ruin some random other armies in the process while claiming plausible deniability.
- Thou shalt have the game's base be a clone of a popular, already-well known game.
- Thou shalt turn your game's meta into an adorned version of Solitaire, Rock-Paper-Scissors, Tic-Tac-Toe, or any combination of the three.
- Thou shalt not actually play your game.
- Thou shalt wait for extended periods of time before adding new gamemode-style features.
- Thou shalt continually switch your game's monetization scheme.
- Thou shalt ban criticism.
𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗁, 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱. 𝖴𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗎𝗇𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝖨 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗒𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗉. 𝖨𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾, 𝗒𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾. 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗎𝗅𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖾𝖽, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗎𝗅𝖾'𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖽𝖺𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗇𝗀𝖾. 𝖬𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾... 𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗉 𝗂𝗍... 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇, 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖨 𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔢 𝔤𝔞𝔪𝔢 𝔡𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔯?
— Will of Josephestus Lormand VI the fifth