DETENUTO N°8496

2년 전


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(ITA)
Giorno quindici.
Mio caro Jeff, stamane ho pianto come una bambina dopo che il corriere è passato a portarci le lettere; me le ha allungate e io d’impeto le ho afferrate, così velocemente da spaventarlo, per vedere se nel mucchio c’erano anche le tue. Dopo l’odierna ispezione delle celle da parte delle guardie mi sono fiondato sulla mia branda a fingere di scartare le buste, che in realtà erano già state aperte, e sono stato assorbito nella lettura per tutta la mattina leggendo e rileggendo le tue frasi, soffermandomi ogni volta sull’ultimo paragrafo perché accecato dalle lacrime di gioia, gioia suscitata dal fatto che tu abbia accettato la mia proposta; a fine mattina la carta da lettere che stringevo tra le mani era fradicia.
Versate le ultime lacrime Ruben mi ha chiesto come mai stessi piangendo, e gli ho spiegato il motivo della mia felicità, della mia commozione. Ha iniziato a raccontarmi che anche lui è stato sposato, con l’amore più grande di tutta la sua vita, perfino più importante del forte legame che aveva con la madre; non era il livello fisico, ma quello emozionale ad essere più elevato. Mi ha detto di non aver mai sperimentato una tale complicità con una persona, nemmeno con il suo defunto fratello; mentre me ne parlava, mi ha detto di aver visto nei miei occhi quando leggevo le tue lettere lo stesso bagliore che gli occhi di sua moglie avevano quando lo guardava. Io non credevo fosse sposato, evidentemente ho espresso un giudizio affrettato. Ha continuato dicendomi che ha conosciuto la ragazza, che dopo qualche mese sarebbe divenuta sua moglie, nel suo stesso negozio. Una donna attraente e con un profumo che attirò l’olfatto di Ruben entrò nel suo negozio in una magica giornata di primavera; la prima volta che la vide sembrava si muovesse a rallentatore, come in un film romantico, ma la realtà è che il suo battito era accelerato tanto da ridurre la velocità di ogni cosa si trovasse introno a lui. Questa ninfa si diresse al suo banco e con uno splendido sorriso che le illuminava il volto domandò a Ruben cosa provasse nello sventrare povere carcasse di animali, violando le loro carni. Incredibile ma vero, sua moglie era vegana e una fervente animalista; si trovava in una macelleria solo per accontentare il palato selvaggio, da quanto lei gli proferì, dei suoi parenti. Ruben cercò di attaccare bottone dicendole che il suo lavoro lo appagava perché evitava che le carcasse di bestie, che sono andate incontro alla propria fine nella catena alimentare, non venivano sprecate; lui non trovava sbagliata l’etica della donna, al contrario la appoggiava, ma il nostro animo è anche animale, nessuno riesce a liberarsi dei propri istinti primordiali, come la caccia o il sapore della carne; lui evitava solo che ci fossero sprechi. In più, ho aggiunto io, la carne è una fonte alimentare difficile da sostituire, soprattutto per animali onnivori come l’essere umano. Dopo avermi rivolto un sogghigno ha continuato il racconto. Lei, nonostante i suoi ideali, era rimasta affascinata dalle parole di Ruben e dai suoi modi cortesi e galanti, tanto che fu lei ad invitarlo ad uscire insieme. Ruben sentì bruciare dentro di sé il fuoco della passione, e d’impulso gli disse di sì. La sera stessa uscirono per la prima volta e continuò così per mesi, raggiungendo una sintonia che molte coppie impiegano anni per ottenere. Stava finendo l’estate e, approfittando di una tra le più belle giornate di quell’anno, durante uno spettacolare tramonto in riva ad un lago, Ruben si inginocchiò dinnanzi a lei e, con la voce tremula le chiese la mano. Dev’essere stato romanticissimo, ma mai quanto lo sarà la mia proposta. Nei sei mesi successivi organizzarono un fastoso matrimonio, una cerimonia con una calca di invitati, la chiesa era gremita di persone e più gruppi musicali suonavano per la celebrazione di quel giorno. Le promesse che si scambiarono mi hanno commosso ancora una volta quest’oggi. Da quel giorno rimasero sposati oltre cinque anni, prima che lui la perdesse per sempre. Morì tra le sue braccia e lui non cadde di nuovo in un’incredibile depressione; il carcere arrivò di lì a poco, ma non so ancora dire quale possa essere stato il motivo, forse un gesto avventato determinato dal suo stato di dolore. Mi ha fatto piacere sentire la sua storia, mi fa pensare che noi siamo destinati all’eternità insieme mio Jeff, mio promesso sposo.
Insieme alle lettere ho ricevuto anche i libri di Baena e Cernuda che mi hai spedito, li ho nascosti sotto la branda e li leggerò con molto piacere. Grazie di esserci, grazie di ascoltarmi, spero di avere tutta la nostra futura vita insieme per sdebitarmi delle tue cure mentre sono rinchiuso qui dentro.
Ti dono tutto me stesso, DG.

(ENG)
Day fifteen.
My dear Jeff, this morning I cried like a child after the courier came to bring us the letters; he stretched them out and I grabbed them, so quickly as to frighten him, to see if yours were in the pile. After today's inspection of the cells by the guards, I slung onto my cot to pretend to unwrap the envelopes, which had actually already been opened, and I was absorbed in reading all morning reading and re-reading your sentences, pausing every time on the last paragraph because blinded by the tears of joy, joy aroused by the fact that you accepted my proposal; at the end of the morning the letter paper I was holding in my hands was soaked.
Shed the last tears Ruben asked me why I was crying, and I explained the reason for my happiness, my emotion. He began to tell me that he too was married, with the greatest love of his whole life, even more important than the strong bond he had with his mother; it was not the physical level, but the emotional one that was higher. He told me he had never experienced such a complicity with a person, not even with his late brother; as he spoke to me, he told me that he saw in my eyes when I read your letters the same glow that his wife's eyes had when she looked at him. I didn't think he was married, obviously I made a hasty judgment. He went on to tell me that he met the girl, who after a few months would become his wife, in his own shop. An attractive woman with a perfume that attracted Ruben's sense of smell entered her shop on a magical spring day; the first time he saw her he seemed to move in slow motion, like in a romantic movie, but the reality is that his heartbeat was accelerated enough to reduce the speed of everything that was around him. This nymph went to her desk and with a splendid smile that lit her face she asked Ruben how she felt in disemboweling poor animal carcasses, violating their flesh. Incredible but true, his wife was vegan and a fervent animal rights activist; he was in a butcher shop only to satisfy the wild palate, from what she uttered, of his relatives. Ruben tried to attack the button saying that his work satisfied him because he avoided that the carcasses of beasts, which went towards their end in the food chain, were not wasted; he did not find the woman's ethics wrong, on the contrary he supported it, but our soul is also animal, nobody can get rid of their primordial instincts, such as hunting or the taste of meat; he just avoided there was waste. In addition, I added, meat is a difficult food source to replace, especially for omnivorous animals such as humans. After giving me a grin he continued the story. Despite her ideals, she had been fascinated by Ruben's words and her polite and gallant ways, so much so that she was the one who invited him to go out together. Ruben felt the fire of passion burning inside him, and on impulse he said yes. That same evening they went out for the first time and continued for months, reaching a harmony that many couples take years to achieve. Summer was ending and, taking advantage of one of the most beautiful days of that year, during a spectacular sunset on the shore of a lake, Ruben knelt in front of her and, with a tremulous voice, asked her hand. It must have been very romantic, but never as much as my proposal will be. In the following six months they organized a sumptuous wedding, a ceremony with a crowd of guests, the church was crowded with people and more musical groups played for the celebration of that day. The promises they exchanged touched me once again today. From that day on they stayed married for over five years, before he lost her forever. He died in his arms and he did not fall again into an incredible depression; the prison arrived shortly thereafter, but I still cannot say what the reason may have been, perhaps a rash gesture determined by his state of pain. I was pleased to hear his story, it makes me think that we are destined for eternity together with my Jeff, my promised husband.
Together with the letters I also received the books of Baena and Cernuda that you sent me, I hid them under the cot and I will read them with great pleasure. Thank you for being there, thank you for listening to me, I hope to have all our future life together to pay me your care while I'm locked up in here.
I give you all myself, DG.

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