The characters of this story are not merely fictional, any resemblance in names or natures is mischievously intended.
The casting of this episode harmed neither men nor animals.
After the last rescue mission that ended up being, well, not so much of a rescue mission, the twin went to the next port with the rest of the pirates. Having two ships now, and twice as many men and women on board as she had before, Captain Tiger Lily was feeling much more confident about the next mission, which was expected to be the hardest one so far, what with the Razzle Dazzle Crew in the way.
Captain Tiger Lily needed a brief nap, so she put Pirate Saffi in charge. She was indeed the best choice, considering how she could, not only escape her last captors single-handed but also recruit them!
Before she went to sleep, along with pirate Shadows, and left strict orders not to wake them up, Captain Tiger Lily introduced the newest member of the crew, pirate Remy, to the rest of the pirates. Then she gave Pirate Saffi some random items: a stretchy bungee cord, a bag of shining sequins, a bow & twelve arrows, a set of false teeth, and a bucket. Those were supposed to help her with the mission.
Pirate Saffi went to talk privately to her twin: "What should we do with these?" she asked.
"I can't tell, I guess we should first see how many and how well organized those Razzle Dazzles are before we come up with a plan" Hazem answered.
As an answer to Hazem's words, the Razzle Dazzles came on board, out of nowhere, moving in perfect harmony. Despite the fact that they took over the ships in no time, and that they were armed and dangerous, and they outnumbered Tiger Lily's pirates, the twin couldn't help admire their dance-like moves. Before Hazem could "come up with a plan", the Razzle Dazzles' captain's plan imposed itself. Shaggy-haired and remarkably small, he was also called "the silent captain". He never had to as much as whisper his orders to his crew, he would nod or wink or raise a hand, and the dance would start, ending with the unspoken orders obeyed perfectly.
All Tiger Lily's pirates are looking up to Saffi now if someone can get them out of that situation, it's Saffi. But she seems to be confused.
"Why don't you tell them a story. The zombie hero's for example?" Pirate James Russell proposes
"Those ones don't like talking, can't you see? And they hate stories even less!" Saffi almost yells at him.
Now, Saffi has always been a sweet and joyful pirate. Seeing her nervous like that terrifies the rest of the crew.
"Let's kill them." Pirate Remy says.
"Aye, Saffi, Remy has a point." says pirate Blindsky with a burst of chivalry that no one expected to ever see in him. A chivalry that didn't last two seconds, thanks to the thirty-three staring captured pirates.
"Ok, twin, tell us what they want. You can know what they feel" Hazem said.
"Well, this one here, the one with the wooden leg, he's very bored, he misses his dead rat, and he despises the captain's crow for killing it. That one next to him, the one who looks like Jack Sparrow, he's hungry and sleepy and very bored, and he hates the captain's crow for making so much noise every night and not letting him sleep. This handsome one here, he has a crush on our Zizy, he's so bored and he hates the captain's crow for..."
"Ok this is enough, twin, I think I have a plan. But tell us what the captain feels."
"The captain... he's bored and he's so fond of his crow because it's the only creature he could tell his secret without being embarrassed."
"What embarrasses him?"
"He once got in a fight in a bar, he won the fight but he lost all his front teeth. He hasn't smiled or spoken a word ever since."
"Why doesn't he buy a set of false teeth, and get over it?"
"He doesn't trust anyone with his secret, not even the one he'll buy them from. That's why he loves his crow, he only speaks to it, otherwise, he'd go insane if he doesn't talk for so long"
"You know what to do then, twin" Prompts Hazem.
Saffi asks Zizy to call the handsome pirate. He comes so fast, you'd think his body isn't allowed to do that. Zizy asks him to convince his captain to listen to Saffi for one minute because she has a proposition for him.
Saffi shows the silent Captain the set of fake teeth and tells him she knows his secret, and so do all the other hostages. She knows she can't ask him to let them all go, that would raise many unnecessary questions among the Razzle Dazzles, but he has to give her his crow if he wants them to keep his secret, and he can have the fake teeth as a gift.
She then told the Razzle Dazzles she wants both of the ships back and her fellow pirates released in exchange for the best entertainment they can ever dream of. They are all mesmerized by her beauty and courage. They let her finish explaining her proposition.
She ties the captain's crow to the main mast with the stretchy bungee cord. She gives them the bow and the twelve arrows and she tells them they have twelve attempts to shoot the crow while it's tied like that, they are free to kill it if they can.
Shock and anticipation filled their faces, loud murmurs echoed from every corner of the ship. In a few seconds, they have their senses back. They look up to their captain, who gives them, not a nod this time, but a grin, showing off his new teeth.
None of his pirates notice that he just opened his mouth for the first time in decades, they are too excited about the game. They start deciding who their twelve champions are going to be.
"Let me photograph the poor crow before he dies." Says Pirate Bluefin.
"Twelve arrows are too few, they need five times more arrows if they all want to have a shot" Pirate Remy whispers.
"Aye, Saffi, Remy has a point." Says pirate Blindsky, as if by reflex.
"Blindsky, why don't you use your water bicycle to fetch back the arrows after they throw them?" Continues Remy.
"Aye, Saffi, Remy has a po... WHAT?! NO! That would ruin my hair!"
"Right, we don't want Blindsky's hair ruined, I'll do it!" Says Zizy.
"No one will do it, remember we don't want this game to last forever. And we don't want the crow dead! It's an innocent child of Nature." Interrupts pirate Marianne "With twelve shots they'll never be able to kill it, but if we give them more... who knows!"
"To make things more challenging," Yells Saffi at the Razzle Dazzles "we will put a bucket on the head of the shooters, that's the silent captain's condition."
Eleven times they try shooting the crow and eleven times it escapes their arrows, its bustling wings taking it left and right as far as the rope allows.
"I want to take this last shot!" Say pirate Elizabeth, pirate Sh33la, and Pirate Aloha, all at once, as if they are a triplet, but Pirate Marianne gives them a stare that makes them sink back to their long silence.
The handsome pirate looks at Zizy and takes the arrow. He pulls and aims, smiles at Zizy right before Saffi covers his head with the bucket. He takes his time with it. He takes too long actually. What is he waiting for? Saffi takes off the bucket to find him closing his eyes and absent-mindedly smiling. She pokes him to wake him out of his daydreaming then she puts the bucket back. He lets the arrow loose. To everyone's amazement, he manages to cut the rope tying the crow.
He then takes off the bucket, goes to Zizy, so full of himself, and whispers "My love for you made me forget my hate for the crow"