At certain stages of life, many people begin to evaluate their lives, look back and think about whether they have lived their lives as they should, and questions such as: Have I taken advantage of my full skills and intelligence? Have I unleashed all my potential? Did I express my true feelings? Have I missed some opportunities? Is someone of my age supposed to be this level of achievement and successful? Or am I supposed to have reached much higher levels than I am?
A lot of regretful thoughts come from our self-denial and living a life imposed on us, sometimes imposed on us by someone, and sometimes there are beliefs that we impose on ourselves, if we don't want it, society or certain positions impose it on us. And after decades, our selves revolt against us and impose something on us as long as we want to do it or leave it
Did we live our real or fake selves? This is the basic question you will ask yourself when you reach a certain age as the thinker Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries sees it, and psychologists have wrestled with a question about the subject of the real soul and the ghost self. The famous psychologist Carl Jung sees that everyone has a ghost self, a hidden and dark side, containing angry, greedy, envious or sensual feelings and dark thoughts, or coveting influence or sinking into narcissism, but we bury this side by force whenever a part of it manifests itself, and we see that our true self is higher than this, but this remains The ghost of a part of us, no matter how much we suppress, as Jung sees it, and if we continue to refuse to deal with it, it swells until it appears horribly one day. Scientist Erik Erikson presented the theory of self-crisis, each age stage has its own needs, and if suppressed it appears strongly or abnormally
The most important question is: How do we deal with this ghost self? This question will not be answered by anyone but us. No ready-packaged answers that apply to everyone, everyone has his secret side and his hidden conflicts, we have to ask and answer frankly what we have suppressed from the deep-rooted needs (not desires) that have been pressing us for years, it is a laborious process, no doubt, but it will free us from the grip of the ghost self, and we will control it instead of ruling the noose We have to, and then the regret will fade, and we will begin a new phase of self-forgiveness.
Best regards, ✍