I couldn't wait to get my dialysis done again, it is just a real punishment to my body by not getting more frequent cleaning session for my blood which is dialysis and yet as a tough nut to crack as I am is still enduring this kind of life that I have. But I have no choice but to also think about the people whom I care about which mainly are my parents because I do not want to waste their time anymore for me.
They should be not be in this situation and must already be enjoying the rest of their lives retiring without me in the scene of their lives and yet they are always here worrying about their Son which had been a burden unto them all these years.
But I do not think really that they would not allow me to be on my own even if I had the means to hire somebody that could assist me in something that I needed and also there is nothing like the love of a parent to their Son knowing that I haven't experienced the best of life in this world because they already knew what I had gone through.
And so I had came into the decision to go back to my previous schedule of getting dialyzed twice a week instead of three times so that I would not waste the time of my parents preparing for my dialysis and that was really what they want so I would give it to them even though it is much better for my health to get a frequent dialysis because obviously the more cleaning session that my body gets the more better I would feel in that regard.
So I thank God for this day, it will give me the easement that I needed once more and at least I had survived without feeling much breathless unlike in the former times where I am feeling like fish out of water come near my dialysis day. Maybe the alleviation of my body pain is the main contributing factor as well because I am more free with my body movements now compared to last year and the year after that.
So I think I just have to do what I am doing right now for me to continue feeling better for myself which I thought would not happen. It is quite a breakthrough but it is still a long fight until maybe I could achieve what I want which is to experience a near-normal life free from pain and able to enjoy simple things in life like eating me food and enjoying it.