See this below video.
Where possible, kindly read the entirety of this post.
I Need Help
I need help, who will turn up. I won't forget.
My projects are slow and all. I have three projects, 'my gifts to the world' and two of these three projects are attaining fruition (my three projects are ulogs.org, steemgigs.org and macrohard).
And yes, i intend to reward each tear with a breakthrough token & emblem of human called 'the teardrops token'.
I am slow, i agree but this is also due to the fact that i need help. I am no longer that old Terry. I am broken now. I am function-less and energy-less. I am still your boy though and i need help.
I haven't slept in years. My body hasn't relaxed for years. I am broken now.
I don't talk much. I can stay mute and hang. When i have managed to talk, it has been 'talking-dead'. I am talking now.
You may not understand these things sufficiently but at least listen to my undertone, for in it you will hear my wailing.
I broke down to pop these very words.
My Mum Wailed Till Her Last Day.
Her last day was Nov 24, 2017. After i haven't seen her for 5 years, i eventually saw her for 16 days and the 16th day was her very last.
My dad wails each day, each minute. I am with him now (after 5 years of not seeing my dad, i eventually saw him, 'all sick'. I live with him now). I listen to his wailing. I helplessly wail for now as i have been unable to be son enough. I listened to my mum wail, my entire life. On her last day, i just stood there watching. I wasn't terry.
I am haunted by these voices. I am drained. I am weak. I am sick.
In the second video, my mum returned home for a short period, after recovering from a 2-weeks period of 'can't move-talk-walk in the hospital shown in the first video, thinking she was Leukamia-free; and see how much joy they (my parents) could still play out.
Then, she started to grow weak again and with her small energy, she left him so abruptly, to be able to arrive in the Philippines to see her son (me), where we went on to spending her last 16 days together from hospital to hospital.
Please look closely, to see the state of my dad's legs here:
Both videos above happened a month before mum passed away and see how much happiness my dad, who is very ill, could still manage within him, with her around. Days ago, we still wailed as a result of her and i understand how huge his own wailing was.
All along i was far away, faraway in the Philippines, '5 years away', looking to bring to them their 'first whisper of good news, good news courtesy of me, their only son, their first son'.
I wrote of my mum here.
My Dad Arrives In The Philippines
He can't see. He has dementia. He also has diabetes, with one leg having a serious open-wound that wouldn't heal and the other leg close-to-amputation. Then, his BP was usually in the range of 200-250.
When he arrived, he couldn't walk well and he is a huge-charactered man who has kept his dreams. Plus, he was apprehensive of me, feeling endangered as i couldn't provide his wife (they were married for 35 years and she was the only one) and he felt, i would harm him, like he thinks i did my mum (his dementia). It was all so tough, it has stayed all tough, so tough and laden with so much wailing and drowning for two big men.
I am big too!
It is all so much tougher now.
I am dead positive though; look at ulogs.org, the teardrops tokens, steemgigs.org and macrohard. Look at surpassing google. Look at un(dis)talented. Have you looked? Look again! These very things aren't ordinary, for there has been stories and histories of 'intensest suffering' involved.
My dad doesn't sleep. He wails. I listen.
Listen to his wailing too (below). He thunderously wails, 'in loops'. Listen:
I am done just listening. It kills. I want to really help my dad. It is critical now. But i still need a bit of patience, so that i too, don't totter completely. The anxiety alone each day from fending the 50 USD required for his daily maintenance meds drains me.
Besides, rarely ask help. I push and push and push till i break instead but this time i will ask help. I am not the same old terry now, for my body is broken, my physical elements are weak. My eyes can't look left or right because its very atoms are tired. I am tired. I am sick. I manage to talk and share a laugh but there is 'talking dead'.
I poop once a week and with grind and strain because not a pore on my body knows how to relax. My brain has lost its control, captured in excruciating pain. It has forgotten its reflexes. My breathing is two gasps for one gulp.
I am not just asking help (that you hand-to-mouth me), i am asking help to kick-start something, something that already has a framework; something that already has its entire model set; something that can surpass google; something that can give aid to generations yet unborn in ways unheard, something that can take light, right inside tunnels.
This particular 'genre of help' is the help i seek. I am closest now; the models are set; there are dates now.
Help me share this emblem of me, so that others from around the globe can help me. Then, help me. I won't forget.
When the teardrops SMT arise, together we will join in rewarding each tear; happy, sad or un-fell.
My projects are for the entire world; my gift to the surface of the Earth. There will be three of them, ulogs.org, steemgigs.org and macrohard, all under the umbrella of the teardrops tokens.
And in eventuality, an entire school called 'legit illiteracy', so that every(any)one can school.
The model and framework for each of my projects are set now, its the building that's left.
I Need A Home For My Dad And Me And A Macrohard Hub.
In the short meantime, i need help to get a home, into which i can also setup a physical Macrohard, to gather the nations to 'code with swag'.
Hahaha Macrohard aside, i need help to avail a 'house for rent'. In the next few days, i will need a sum of money to enable me rent a new house for me and my dad. Our rent contract has expired and my landlady has refused to extend the contract, needing us to move out. Currently, i don't have the means to raise these funds on my own, as a new house comes with a new contract and a large sum called a 'deposit'. I direly need these funds within the coming days and most especially before March 2019.
Funds raised will go towards this expense and any extra will be used to set up a physical Macrohard hub in the new house, which will help me long term in relation to bringing my projects to fruition as well as sustenance for my household.
In the long long term as my projects attain stability and begin to shine forth into the expanse of Mama Earth, my being can begin to find rest and my body can begin to discover healing.
See a preview of how beautiful Macrohard can become:
If you are a developer, venture capitalist, fan or programmer, i need your help too. Discuss with me, close your eyes with me and let's go on this journey of 'building', a building that is nearing its completion. I am reachable via email on email@example.com
I am tired now, i need your hand. And where you lend me your prayers, my amen is on default.
Your Boy Terry
Some Of My Information
My PayPal email: 'firstname.lastname@example.org' or 'you can click HERE to send me Paypal directly with a debit or credit card.
My Email: 'email@example.com'
My bank account: Bank of the Philippines (BPI)/acct no: 9809131839/name: Terry Christian Ajayi/acct type: Savings
I thank you, even just for reading this post as this post represents me, my stories and histories, my ulogacies. I thank you for supporting me overall.
In every case, my "thank you" is hefty.