Anxiety can be paralyzing. I'm going through a lot of changes in my life and I'm very uncomfortable and anxious about it.
I can hardly make a decision without worrying about it for a week beforehand with a knot in my gut.
I'm sure we all have dealt with anxiety regarding some decision or change happening in our life.
I'm definitely feeling a lot of that right now.
I left my job to write/vote on steemit, run my own business, and trade cryptos.
I mean, what the hell am I thinking? What an idiot.
Well, I am in my late 20s and I had thought that I would have made some forward progress in my life by this point. Instead, it feels as though I have just been more or less stuck in time ever since I had started working. Decided I have had enough of this muddling through crap.
Little promotion here, better job there, career change every few years to try something new. The small changes help, but nothing really satisfies. I just end up feeling more and more depressed until I'm just wearing a facade all day at work.
Feeling like a hamster in a wheel the whole time...
I got out of high school and college wasn't an option due to circumstances, although it could have been at some point over the years. The outcome of actually getting an education didn't seem much different to me than simply working and progressing in a company. Maybe get a better salary and a mountain of debt to be in a much fancier looking hamster wheel. At least that's how I'd feel, most likely.
And there's really nothing wrong with that, because realistically we can't all be playboy millionaire philanthropists. somebody has to run the show. But I think that everyone should at least have the opportunity to try living an alternative lifestyle.
I'm looking to broaden my horizons now and experience something new. Multiple people are on steemit making more than I ever had working traveling and experiencing other cultures. Why can't I do that? Why can't I at least try?
(why can't I at least try?)
I'm not prepared to settle into some "normal" life grinding away to advance slightly and make slightly more money. Working long hours for 95% of the year to spend 3-5% of it doing something that I actually enjoy.
I've learned a whole lot thus far. I intend to learn a whole lot more. I intend travel and experience the world. If I fail or stumble upon the way, then so be it. but I can at least call it my own.
That is something that no one job could ever provide for me -- and I've got a long way to go before I can become the person who can make all of these things happen. But I've made the decision to try my damndest.
I 1000% intend to wake up every day doing what I want to do everyday.
And despite the fact that I'm uncomfortable, I think that it is during times of great discomfort, change, and stress that we find the most growth.
And I intend to share my coming experience with steemit.
And I hope that anyone who happens to read about my experiences will be able to get something from it.
So, love or hate me, I'm here for now and I hope to be for a long time to come.