What is The Path to Follow? Part 2 - The Mystery and Some Conclusions I’ve Arrived to on Why People Don’t Listen to Advice...

11개월 전

Hello Steemians, good day or good evening, hope you are all well

On this post I would like to continue what I promised on part 1 - What is the path to follow?

If you remember, I ended up calling this a mystery. The fact that people ask for advice, but don’t follow it anyways, even though they are away someone else has the right experience to guide them, they elect to walk on the stones.

Well, after many years doing this as a career I arrived to some conclusions to shed some light on this mystery.

Sadly we live now in a world where many of the values are being lost, and all values start with respect,, a word that we all use, but only to speak, not to act.

On top of that, the value that was lost is probably the idea of hierarchy, that is certainly connected to respect.

So there are many things we can say about people who don’t follow guidance from their tutors or mentors, and I will try to tackle them briefly.


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1- Pride

Prideful people, don’t accept help even when they ask for it. They want to solve the problems by their own means, even the ones the can’t because they lack the knowledge. I can guarantee that too much pride is a characteristic of a lot of people who never get anywhere in life. I never had an issue asking for help when I was in dire situations, and that was not diminishing, it was edifying.

2- Ego
We live in a world where the ego is too important. At least in my country I see the problem starting with the upbringing of children. Parents who are clueless and create these ideas on their kids calling them geniuses, and it becomes a competition too. When they go grow up, they find themselves thinking that they are better than the rest and that always brings problems. Along my journey I met many like this, and they always had a hard time. With an inflated ego comes pride too. I see this behavior a lot in generations between 15 and 40 these days.

A digression.- I’m a chairman for a company where the oldest partner is 87 years old, and I can tell you. What I’ve learned from his life experience is amazing, he’s always talked to me with respect and I listen. To me that is an expression of humility, because I recognize what experiences this person has in his head and have a deep admiration for him. I may be able to understand the tech better, but I don’t have all the other tools of life he has, so when he talks, I listen. This is what I meant by hierarchy.

Even when a not successful older businessman talks, is good to shutup and listen, because there are many things you can learn from them.

But when someone with success talks, you have to really shutup, and if you can have more ears do it. Because if you can learn it all, you should, and you will be grateful for years to come if you soak up that wisdom.


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But continuing with the mystery!

People are like this because they are too full of pride, and because of their ego, they are helpless against real life. A over inflated ego is truly tragic in the life of the people who have it, and it’s always going to hold them back.

I’ll give you an example that I’m sure you’ve experienced before.

You know when you are working there is always a person criticizing, finding defects with everything, even things that don’t make sense.

Let’s say you sell flowers and make arrangements. The arrangement is beautiful, the flowers are gorgeous and some random person shows up and says: “It’s no good, you need at least one more flower for it to be good” - very irritating.

Why would they open their mouth? It’s very simple, ego.

They want to be able to say it was their contribution that made the flower arrangement perfect, not yours. Get it?

I’m sure I will share many more stories of things I’ve lived, because I believe there is no better way to convey the message than sharing stories. They are legacy after all.

Remember: I would be grateful if you understood the importance of resteem these posts to build a community with a positive mindset. This is my greatest goal here and you who accompany me know! This is my greatest truth and I do with my heart. Many of these information that are useful to you may be important to other people who need information for your personal growth and that is the most important thing to achieve any goal in your life and remember: Give a upvote between you who take the time to comment and discuss constructively. This has happened here and I am very glad to see you helping each other.

A big hug to you all, until next time

FOLLOW - @chbartist

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Wow i love this, now let me tell you what i experience in compound. There is woman that had grand children she has never allowed those little kids to associate with other kids based on the fact that she is financially ok, she controlled her own children she tell them what do and if they most go out it’s has to be children in their class of wealth. As for us we are averagely ok although those children will want to play with us but Base on that orientation that they had from their parent, they always look down on us such children will live with that stigma even in their work place.

Dear sir!
High confidence ambition and ego have always been a hindrance to the development of human values. We should follow such a person whose thinking is positive, who is experienced and who is capable of guiding the right direction. The human being keeps getting experience and knowledge through every little thing in the whole life cycle.
If we have a benefit in our physical, mental development, gain in the business field or help in the development of ethical values, then we should not hesitate to take advice. Every person takes advice from a friend or family member or other person to face problem or challenge in life. Surely every person can improve their performance, from a qualified and experienced person. Training or guidance. Increasing international proof shows that the work of self and communities is through guidance and advice. Can significantly improve the connection.
Regards.

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Hi @certain, as always your comments are very analytical prove that you read and devotes a lot of attention to my posts. You are an example for others to be followed here on this blog. Regards

I'm well, thanks, excellent writing, you talked about ego,hierarchy, you went deeep & deep of the problem by which people are suffering now a days, good example and good suggestions, in my country there is a proverb, If you want suggestion, go to three headed man, it means old, very experienced. Any way your writing is crystal clear, I like it very much, God bless you my friend.Hope you are well. regards.

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Thank you @rafique1953 for your kind words! Regards

Pride and ego can be positive things for us if we understand these things fully. For this a person has to evaluate his/her inner self. Self assessment is necessary in every walk of life. When we stop seeing things inside us, problems begin to mount. So, introspection becomes important.
Ego is a bad element because an egoistic person don't want others to be more successful than him/her. When our competitors surpass us, we feel our ego is hurt. However, one should be positive. Instead of becoming dejected and disheartened, one should try to excel in life. One should have a feeling of competition in one's mind. One should say to oneself "if that person can do it, I also can do it" It becomes a source of inspiration for one. But, negative people try to pull the leg of someone who is going ahead of them.
Pride is a bad thing when a person becomes too much self-centered. Pride should be transformed in self-respect. Sense of self-respect keeps us doing something which is bad or evil. It all depends on a person what he thinks about himself.

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Excellent @akdx. Nothing to add in your comment. Regards

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Thank you dear!

Hi @chbartist, I agree that people now a days listen but don't act. Ego and pride are two factors which prevent us to ask for help. We need to buried ego and pride.if someone can't throw these factors then he cant get success in life.
If an old person is saying something we should shutup and should pay heed fully as he is experienced more than us.
He will definitely reveals the experience from his life and will give the beat advice.

I'm happy to see you daily here helping people with your experience and stories.we need more people like you.
God bless you @chbartist .
Resteemed

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Thank you friend! We need more people with positive mindset on this blog! Thx for restemm! Regards

This is the biggest problem that the people have pride and ego. I think I guessed wrong in your last blog but I write I think but after reading this blog I am completely agree with you that people don’t listen to a mentor because they have lots of ego and they want to solve every problem with there solutions. They should understand that you can not solve everything.

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Exactly @summit1998! Regards friend!

Hi friend @chbartist ego is not good in any relation. We should never have it in our mind because it can spoil relationship. You life experiences are full of inspiration that one can learn a lot out of it. Instead of ego we should always be humble to people around us. I appreciate that you give respect to the person who is 87 years old and am very sure that you must have learnt a lot from his life experiences.
Have a great day.

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Exactly friend! Have a good day!

The more i follow your blog the more knowledge i gain, I used to have ego problems but after i lost my dad, i realised that he was shielding me from a lot of things which i learnt the hard way and it humbled me,
You once gave me an advice sometime in the past, You told me that i shouldn't have left my pencil in the first place.
Thinking critically about your last post and this post of yours, I am beginning to connect the dots.

"When someone is ahead of you are in any endeavour, He/ she knows something you are yet to learn no matter the age. That is what i learnt from this post"

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Thank friend for your words!

Rightly said, more the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knknowledge more the ego. that is why often knowledgeable people are successful in their life. More ego , pride etc badly affects one's success and people also do not like to interact with such persons.
Very helpful post, your article reflects how your personality is, you are a great person sir , your thinking is very high, i like your articles very much and try to follow your advice as well.
Best of luck.
Wish you from Kashmir

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Thank you for your words friend! Regards

"Sadly we live now in a world where many of the values are being lost, and all values start with respect, a word that we all use, but only to speak, not to act."--- This is really True! They've forgotten the word R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect for others opinions. They only want others to hear themselves but in return, they don't want to listen to your ideas because of Pride and Ego. A saying stands true until today that, Respect begets respect...

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You bet @brooksm! Pride and Ego are really "Joy Killers". We must learn how to remove them from our lives so that we can experience the true meaning of Happiness and RESPECT!

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Perfect! All the best!

Pride puts you on a sinking pedestal.
And for me, understanding the temperaments of others and knowing their talents help you work with them. Different people react differently in the same situation because of differences in their temperaments. This can hurt someone's ego. Upon these things a person can have it's pride on false identity. His favorites are "all by myself " and "I did it my way ".

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Humility is a very important quality. I think when a person is humble, they are peaceful. Mainly because they are not overly concerned with being right or being better. A humble person is happy to do something well, but also happy to learn how to improve.. Thanks again for your thoughtful words @chbartist!

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Thank you for your sweet and kind words. Regards

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Being humble is the best strategy for living a good life. Any one of us could be here today and gone tomorrow.

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Hello friend, this is my opinion
Less ego, more excellence. Less talk, more do. Less rude, more polite. Less fear, more wins.”

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Agree. Good concept!

Very excellent my friend. These attitudes are everywhere nowadays. I loved the example of the person asking to add one more flower before it's perfect (I personally know people like that). Thanks for the effort in putting together such a nice piece, if only people will learn and effect the needed change in their lives.

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Thank you for your kind words! Regards

I like that equation. Very easy to understand and explain.
No progress with pride and ego. Extreme ir radical versions of self esteem and self confidence. Not healthy

I think many of us are going to nod identified with what you raise today, @chbartist! In our circle we always have people that pride or ego sometimes allows us not even to ask for advice. I think you say well, the family has a share of guilt in raising some people. It also happens in the classroom. We are teachers who are deifying some students and even feel superior to their peers and even to the teacher himself. In my case it happened to me once that the best student I'd had in years, asked me why I'd put a note on him if he was never wrong. I kindly showed him his mistakes. Unfortunately the boy got sick just because he made a mistake. There are people who intellectually may be very good and capable, but as human beings they are very weak. Thank you for sharing your reflection!

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Hi, I understand what you mean @nancybriti. In my country of origin for example the students have been hitting and punching the teachers in the classroom. After this the boy's mother still goes to school and I defend the son. Conclusion, everything is written in my post and I only share things that I lived intensely and so I can have those conclusions with absolute certainty. Regards

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In our schools everyone is taught to learn like a parrot. They are supposed to remember but they are not allowed to ask questions. If someone is thinking differently, society doesn't accept him/her. This is very bad for the generations.

We can stop this too much selfpride and ego just right here, not to continue it to our children generation, by teaching them good thing and copy it from our act. So yeah parent, we got a lot of things to do.

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Yes. Thank you for your comment!

You have analyzed Proud and Ego in very simple words, which are highly appreciated.Thanks for the cooperation of everyone for the community.

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Thank you for comment. We need to grow that community with positive mindest.

Sir, you have written very well, sometimes a moment comes in every person's life when he needs help and should take help from him.
But there are some egotistical people who do not want to seek help from anyone because it is against their pride and because of which they are always upset

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Exactly friend!

More than the advice, people dont wish to listen to instructions....and I am one among them. Today I have got an answer from this post for my behavior:-(

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@vanddy, don't worry friend, life is a constant learning!

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Thanks for the motivation friend....Your words are kind of a tonic!!!

Interesting!

Therefore our society becomes more stupid from day to day.

Thank you

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When a man becomes a lawyer of his mistake and becomes the judge of the mistakes of others, then this decision is not decided.

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Exactly friend, I understand what you mean! Thank you...

Very clever blog. You have to be interesting person
I think that i will visit you again :)

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great article about pride and ego. i agree that people are full of pride, and because of ego, people are helpless against real life. this is the reality.

Hi friend @chbartist ego is not good in any relation. We should never have it in our mind because it can spoil relationship. You life experiences are full of inspiration that one can learn a lot out of it. Instead of ego we should always be humble to people around us. I appreciate that you give respect to the person who is 87 years old and am very sure that you must have learnt a lot from his life experiences.
Have a great day.

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Really wonderful explain about ego , knowledge.true wards about those matters it's very important on me reading this sir thanks

We constantly evolve and peel away the layers of our ego. The more you know, the more you realise how important it is to let go of our past beliefs.

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Many people want that they should praised by all, in the family and at workplace. If hey didn't get what they expect, their ego burst. Btw, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Pride and Ego -The Saboteurs of Growth.
Thanks for the story!

In my own experience, it's not always about Pride and Ego. I have a few friends who's like this, they don't listen to whatever advice you tell them simply because they are narrow-minded. They would always stick to what they believe in.