Its back to therapy tonight, an hour talking about me, my feelings and my past. I woke up feeling a bit brighter, unfortunately the weather wasn't in a good mood, its rained all day and been really cold, nothing new for the North East of UK.
I am really trying with this therapy, carrying my Mental Health Journal everywhere, writing in my feelings and how i am coping. Its actually helping, when read it back i can see what has happened and how i could handle the situation better. I have to start putting myself first for change, stop thinking how every one else is and make sure i am OK. Today was my 4th session leaving me with another 6 the been i am being referred to the Trauma unit where they will help e learn how to deal with what happened in my childhood, then hopefully i will start looking towards the future and be happy.
After every session my therapist gives me homework for that week This weeks homework is all about Self soothing finding ways to make myself feel better about myself.
This weeks homework is
Do something for myself, e.g Get my hair done, Buy something for myself.
Me Time, meditating, tapping or just having a pamper to relax myself.
Arrange a date night with hubby.
This week is about me, me trying to think about myself, putting myself before everyone else to show my young self i am worth it, i am not worthless and useless as my parent called me for so many years. Words hurt, name calling isn't nice, putting someone down is wrong, those words hang around. Please think before you speak especially when you are angry. Its best to say nothing then you have nothing to be sorry for.
After therapy i came straight home, my intention was to come on here and write down what had happened at therapy, mainly for my own benefit and to get that message out, Don't stop talking. When i turned my laptop on this is what i found.
Nichola had placed my laptop on the floor and probably stood on the end, not that she is admitting it. It looks like its cracked with the screen starting to bleed. Thankfully i have my laptop insured, i will have to phone them tomorrow to arrange a date to go in then i will have no laptop for around a week, Its going to be a very long week. I have my mobile phone which can do as much as my laptop but prefer the laptop when i am posting on here.
Thank you @son-of-satire