Peaks and Valleys. That is how I would describe this decade that has almost ended. The quiet of the night brings introspection, not to mention half a bottle of red wine.
I look back at one of the earliest photos I have uploaded in Facebook and it is of a teambuilding I had when I was still a team leader during my People Support days. I had it all mapped out as I would climb up the ladder because I was young, determined and ambitious. Looking back these were my asshole days as I was only obsessed with bring in the numbers and being on top. The sneer, the temper and the shape up or ship out mentality I had with dealing with people.
I eventually moved to another account and helped reimplented it. I flourished here as I recall my mentor told me in one of working lunches that the world was my canvas and I can paint it how I saw it yet he would be there if I needed him.
I changed here because I no longer competed with other people but rather I competed with myself on how to make things better for my people. Although this change was not voluntary but rather brought upon by the rude awakening that I was a monster. Wrath and terror was how I was described but somebody stood up to me and said I was acting like a bully. I was taken aback and gradually changed because of this.
There should be more than work and so I participated in events and Corporate Social Responsibilities. I voluntered a lot and developed emphathy.
It was a highlight being a stage dad for the vertical talent group. From being perennial in last place the previous years to being in the top 3! The practices, thinking of concepts and music to use, searching for costumes and gimmicks to make us stand out. It was ao much fun even if I lacked sleep.
It was bittersweet to leave them as I moved from Operation to HR.
Everyone was new in Sourcing then but hiring targets needed to be met so we hit the ground running. I learned everything I know in Recruitment here. I have to thank that once again I met someone that was patient and taught me everything she knew about.
One of my most unforgettable situations there was the release of the employee referral program incentive. Almost a million pesos of Sodexo GCs that needed to be counted, placed in envelops, tagged to the right person and shipped. First time I did a triple shift just to make sure as it was double and triple-checked.
Not everything was peachy though as here was one of the many valleys in that decade.
I moved again but now I bid goodbye to a company that I stayed for almost a decade. On to new opportunies.
I was relatively happy, met a lot of people that I still consider friends today. Made a lot of crazy memories but also had a lot of sad ones. It left a hole in me.
I reconnected with people from college as I joined to help the 75th Anniversary of the school newspaper, The Bedan. I got to meet and talk with former senator Rene Saguisag and be part of something that spanned decades as I interacted with various former editors and staff.
I took a break and focused on my writing. Till this day I haven't finished my two books as they are stuck in constant rewrites. I did manage to publish a E-book under a different name though.
I blogged, did community management, got into cryptocurrency. Earned a lot but also lost a lot but again got to meet some awesome people from around the world who I would never have dreamt to have encountered if not for that project.
Oh man that project called Ono. It was to rival Facebook and be used in China. It was meant to bridge the East and West. Oh how naive we were. In the end it gave us a hard lesson.
2019 was one of the hardest years I had. I can say I reached rock bottom in terms of physical, emotional and mental aspect.
I lost a lot of things, had one of the worst episodes that left me in shambles, my mom passed away when we always joked around before that she would outlive us, and I felt stuck.
It was time for a change. I needed to let go of a lot of things. My anger, my sadness, my fear, my anxiety and regrets. I had to let go of the demons in my head, stop listening to their whispers and look myself in the mirror and forgive myself.
I took a chance. I took a small step forward. Each day is a choice to get up and move forward.
The bottle is almost finished and the last day of 2019 is here. I look forward to 2020 as another chance for me.
Hope springs eternal as my resolve is strengthened by the people that pushed me to move forward, who never gave up on me, that pulled me to eat, read, write and to continue on.
May 2020 give us the clarity of vision and be a breakthrough year for all of us.