Divergence #2

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Hey, Mikey.

I spoke loudly to attract Mikey's attention over the noise from his headphones. He sighed and reluctantly pulled them out, wheeling around to face me.

What is it?

I tapped my pen on my top lip as if I was thinking hard.

How long you worked here now, Mikey?

I asked, my face a picture of sweet innocence.

Why?

He looked suspicious as if he thought I was the one who had filled his rucksack with oats yesterday.

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Just wondering, it must be over ten years now, surely?

It's fifteen, actually.

He stated proudly, wearing the filth of his longevity like a badge.

Hmm, a long time. You like lemonade, Mikey?

What, what the hell has that got to do with how long I've worked here?

Just answer the question, Mikey. You ain't got nothing to hide have you?

Mikey looked troubled as if indeed he had something dark and terrible to hide.

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Alright then, fine. Yes, I do like lemonade.

Wanna try some of my lemonade?

I pulled a brown bottle from my bag. Inside, a murky liquid sulkily slopped back and forth.

Mikey looked at the bottle with a narrow eye.

That doesn't look like lemonade?

He ventured tentatively.

It's Kombucha, home-made, go on, try some.

I pushed the bottle insistently at him.

He opened it and took a sniff, his face wrinkling in disgust.

It doesn't smell like lemonade either?

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Just fucking try it, Mikey, what do you think, I'm going to poison you?

Mikey tilted the bottle back for a small sip and grimaced as the liquid sloshed into his mouth.

He passed me back the bottle and wiped frantically at his mouth with the back of his hand.

Ugh. Jesus!? That's fucking disgusting!?

His face twitched as something primordial stirred in his brain. Something that lent understanding to what had just happened.

Wait... Was that your piss?!

He said as if he could barely believe the idea himself.

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My piss!? Hell man, don't be disgusting!

I retorted.

Mikey looked hugely relieved and ran a hand through his hair.

Sorry man, it was just so foul, for a minute all I could think was that you were being a bastard and it was your piss.

I chuckled like Santa feeding a stray dog.

Oh no, Mikey. It wasn't MY piss...

Mikey's relief melted from his face. He clutched at his mouth, inhuman noises burbling from behind his hand.

Let me past, need to be sick!?

He made to push past me. I snaked out a hand and caught his shoulder in an iron grip.

Not so fast, hombre... Why haven't the infrastructure guys been moved over to Ganymede yet?

I gave him a rough shake.

He pulled his hand from his mouth, his face was white and he was shaking

I don't know, I haven't heard anything about the infra guys!? Let me past, I need to be sick!?

He wailed.

Something in his demeanor told me he was telling the truth. I released him and watched as he ran like an Eskimo in deep snow to the toilet.

So even Mikey didn't know anything? It looked like this case went deeper than I first suspected.

I pulled my hat low over my face and stood.

If Mikey wasn't caving to the dog piss it looked like I was going to have to engage in some proper detectivity...

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Sort Order:  trending
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If kombucha isn't enough to rattle the secrets free from Mikey's mind palace,then I don't know what is!? Mikey's really a tough nut crack! A trait that would surely serve him well in prison!

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It will be his best friend and worst enemy that trait!!

Hehe...so...Answer the damn question Mikey...how was that lemonade?

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I think he likes it. Deep down of course :0)

Proper Detectivity!

wearing the filth of his longevity like a badge

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Haha!! Yup, detectivity could be his middle name!! :0D

As soon as you said it wasn't your piss then I knew it was piss lol. Piss ferments if you leave it long enough. Beer Saturday could take a twist.

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I totally didn't know that! What does it taste like then when it's fermented? ;0)

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Doing a post now as you reminded me of another piss bottle a long time ago lol.

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Lol, I shall read it in the morn. I have to sign off early as I just got dry humped by the dentist again and feeling quite shit

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Hopefully you are done now though and dentist free for the next 10 years.

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Nah I should be so fucking lucky. It looks like my root canal didn't entirely work and I need it fixed. And a filling to add insult to injury Sob

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I thought it was too quick as I normally have 2 x 1 hour appointments to repair after root canal. Oh well it is nearly done and the worst is over.

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Hopefully, bloody costly though. I am glad I started it all but wish it was done

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ha! sir meesterboom! the plot thickens again. This cracked me up "the filth of his longevity" lol..doesn't sound like a wonderful place to work!

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It must be said, our new office is absolutely shite!

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haha, is it really? I'm sorry to hear that., I hope they're at least paying you more! is it really in a bad part of town too?

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Its in a desolate run down area and the pay remains the same! They are having a laugh!

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oh ok sir meesterboom, I get it. They are saving a fortune on rent and you guys are being used. That's not right.

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That's the way of the corporation these days. Profit first, grrr

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Profit first, workers dead last if they think of them at all.
This calls for a beer!

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It truly does!

LOL. Dog piss!? You reminded me of another story of yours that also happened in the office but with a beer. I don't think I'm ever going to drink or eat anything they give me in the office. They may have the hairs of black frogs or the warts of anorexic witches

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It wouldn't be from a black Friday frog those hairs! ;0)

Could be worse... a dog has 2 orifices where "things" come out of... Damn, i sometimes disgust myself xD

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Hell yeah, it could have been mud pie!!

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@meesterboom Hello dear friend.
If the dog piss did not cause Mikey to say something about it, you will have to use another method.
Mikey can be anything, but you have to admit that you have a lot of endurance to the things that you do, finally you compare the love of everyone.
I wish you a beautiful evening dear friend.

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He is a tough nut to crack that's for sure. Will have to get more inventive!!

Hahahaa, dog piss!! Poor ol Mikey.

Granted I've had some kombucha that might pass for dog piss ;) Why does 'good for you' generally translate into 'choke it down'?

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It is funny that isn't it? The amount of times I have been told that with what amounts to pig swill!!

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Yep!! I've grown to like some of the stuff I once wrinkled my nose at, kale and spinach smoothies for instance if they also have lots of apple, but most of the time I'm practically holding my nose to swallow it haha!

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Me too, I like loads of stuff young me sneered at with the occasional noise holding for some, lol

I don't envy Mikey...

Posted using Partiko Android

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He is a long suffering wife of a colleague. It can't be easy :0D

It's always a good idea to drink things that someone gives you out of a brown paper bag.

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The best things come from brown paper bags

Figured it was still going to be piss after the line "it wasn't MY piss" XD

EWWWWWWW XD

ps - Mikey's got some fortitude, I would have projectiled on the spot all over your character XD

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He is a stickler for the rules, no vomiting on the carpet!!

You're disgusting !!

I said that like it was new news..... didn't I ???

LOL !

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Haha, you did, totally!

That was so bad, meesterboom giving him piss to drink to claw out any information about Ganymede. That was your friend. How about asking him nicely? That might work? Upvoted!

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Asking nicely!?! That's madness!!! ;0p

Ohh my god. A dog piss. !!!! Lol

It was my first story reading of you. It was interesting, but one thing i am not getting. He is doing this because he wants to diverge his attention or what??

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That's the big mystery ;9)

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Any how i m following you. To better understand your mystery 😇 keep it

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Excellent. Thank you!

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can you do a favor to me Meesterboom. Plz visit my blog. and up vote some of my post please. it will be a little help from you side. i am waiting for your response please. this is very small thing for you to do but help me a lot.

thanks in advance

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You know it is lil bet tricky to understand

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It is, that's the joy of it. It's the second part ;0)

Thank you so much for participating the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!

I have a friend that is EXACTLY like your wife. Midwife, kombucha, green slush....name it....they would love talking to each other!

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Oh no, you mean there are more of them!!!

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