Life isn't always fair

3년 전

I have had to do a lot of uncomfortable things in my life, mostly with work and a few with my own children. As you handle these uncomfortable situation you grow strong, well up to this day I always felt pretty strong, I always found a way to make it not so uncomfortable, today was just a bad day.


Well about 2 weeks ago my wife and I got some news that was kinda hard to handle. Our youngest son was born with a Heart Murmur. Well he is now 15 years old and the Heart Murmur has not closed itself up. He usually goes to the heart doctor once a year for a check up and we had just had a check up about 6 months ago. Well he plays soccer for his high school and they require him to have a physical, this is when it got bad. Once he had his physical the doctor said, I can not release him to play soccer, you will need to get the release from his Heart Doctor. No big deal right, I mean we new he had a Heart Murmur. So we scheduled the appointment and off we went. That morning once we got to the Heart Doctor, it was just a matter of a few minutes and they had him hooked up to a heart monitor.


The heart doctor said go to practice tomorrow and let's see How the reads look. So the next morning we take him back to the Doctor to see how the reads looked, That's when the Doctor said NO to soccer for now. Which was kinda confusing to my 15 year old. Come to find out the Doctor is part of the Alabama Heart Doctors association and they where meeting on Friday to discuss my son's situation. So untill then the doctor said no boxing, no weight lifting and no soccer. Well to a 15 year old, Friday couldn't get here fast enough.


Well Friday finally came, and for the first time in my life I had to lie to my 15 year old. See my wife left to go out of town on Thursday and would not be back in town untill Monday night and there was no way that I was gonna go at this by myself. So I told my son on Friday that the doctor called and said they had to change their meet time to Monday. All along I new what was going on and what the outcome was, I kept this secret from my wife as well, no need in ruining her trip.
So I was able to buy myself some time, I now had till Monday to figure Out How I was gonna break the news to my little boy.


Well my wife got back into town on Monday night, keep in mind I hadn't even told her yet. So I spent the rest of Monday night talking with her and trying to understand why this was happening to our youngest child and how in the world where we going to tell him.

Well I think we had a plan, we where gonna tell him Tuesday right after school, we had also told ourselves that we could not get emotional when we talked to him. Well let me tell you this, all that sounded good untill you have to look a 15 year old that is full of life and energy and tell him that the doctors have decided to do open Heart surgery. At this point my every bit of strength was replaced with emotions. I mean damn, how do you hold it together.

Well, I will have to tell you that Codey handle this news as good as he could, given the outcome. My boy looked at me and said dad three things will get me through this, You, Mom and God. at this point I felt a sense of comfort come over my mind and body.

I really had to think about this before I put it on the blockchain, and then I thought to myself that there is message here and that message would be, love your kids everyday, show them your strength and weaknesses and never go at things by yourself.

Now I am sure that my son is worried and confused and doesn't want to show weakness, but he has the right mindset to handle things I know this simply from his comment, that he said.

I will keep everyone posted on his progress. His surgery is schedule for the 1st week in April, this is his spring break and probably the best time to do this.

You gotta take the good and the bad with life,


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Just reading this now. Brother, you got me all tear faced and slobbery at Starbucks!!! I cannot even imagine... Leon fell over and cut his lip the other day and the sight of just 3 drops of his blood made me feel weak in the knees. Your son, @sidewayzs13 — Codey — has already distinguished himself around here, and no doubt wherever he goes. I wish there was more i could do besides offering my prayers and sincere best wishes to the Brockman family — and especially good ol’ sidewayzs.

Be strong for you family bro — even tho this is one serious mofo to stare down and stomp over top of.


Got my boots on and knuckles are fitted, we will get past it, thanks brother for the thoughts and prayers. Codey is a good boy with a strong mindset. Thanks my man for all the support.

Praying for your family wife and I had a baby in October and all went great until a few days after we got back home and one morning she was super lethargic and wouldn't wake up... scariest day of my life...we ran her back to the hospital and after a feeding tube, some medication and some therapy, she was back to herself in about 24 hours but it was nerve racking. I can only imagine what you all are going through. We are all going to be keeping him in our thoughts.


Thanks bud, glad your little girl is fine.

May your boy would be all well and get recover from heart problem .

Heart related problem are very common now days, if operation is not necessary you can go to ayurvedic doctor . In ayurved good solution for this .

Thanks you for sharing this. We will keep you all in our thoughts and wish you all the best of luck. Sounds like you got a good kid and you have done well raising him. This is just a speed bump in life. He will roll over it and hit the gas🙂.


Thanks Vulcan, he is a pretty kid with a solid head on his shoulders

The tears in my eyes made it difficult to read on my phone. As a mom I would hate to deliver the info to my son. This had to be a tough share. Your son is tough and strong. My thoughts are with you and your family. I have faith the surgery will go well.


Ah, thanks Mrs. V , it's just a wall he has to climb over.

My boy looked at me and said dad three things will get me through this, You, Mom and God. at this point I felt a sense of comfort come over my mind and body.

Praying for your boy. He's a brave young man. @ironshield


Thanks for the prayers Iron.

Oof... That's rough news for sure.
It sure sounds like he is going in with a positive outlook and all the support you and your wife can give and often times that is a huge part of the process. That can make the whole thing go even better just because of the good vibes.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your's, Ray!


Thanks Stone, much needed 😎👊

Your son sounds amazing and strong. Life isn’t fair. Keep us posted and my positive thoughts and are with you and your family.


Thanks Kp, I will keep everyone posted.

Wow, all my thoughts and prayers to you and your son.

I remember being in High School and there was an artist who had heart problems, a singer I was a fan of, and he had had heart surgery and a pace maker installed. It had been a success and he did his things, lived life normally and is still kicking around. I wish the same smooth transition for your son, that he may find normality in life despite this setback and that this will only make him stronger. Teens are resilient. And he's survived this long. He'll survive the rest I'm sure and grow up and grow old, perhaps even surpass your life span. We can only hope right now, but it's because of hope that good things come.


Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Such an inspiring story. We all have good and bad things in life. But the most important thing is we know where to run to in times of triumph and trouble, and your boy figured it out - with God. Be praying for you and your family. Keep the faith in Christ! ☺


Thanks, you are right.

Hang in there Ray. Sometimes kids actually turn out to be the stronger ones, helping the parents get through the rough times. It's hell, I know.

I nearly died 4 years ago, and I had that same comforting feeling that everything was going to be okay. Don't be afraid to listen to it and listen to your son.


Thanks JB he is diffently strong.

It sounds like you and your wife are doing a fine job raising your boy. There are no words anyone can tell you your wife or your son. When we went through open heart surgery with my daughter people kept trying to comfort me and my wife with words. Truth is it just made me angry. Know one can truly understand what you all are going through. Just know you have people like my family that will be praying hard for yours. Thank you for sharing a piece of your families journey. You will be in our families thoughts and prayers.


Thank you, and you are right, no words can ease the stress and hurt

Your country has good doctors I know but stil difficult and long period of recovery I guess. Good luck.

Fifteen is a strong age. Sandwiched between the elasticity of childhood and the strength of adulthood. Praying for you all.


Thanks Matt!

@raybrockman I love that you shared how you feel and I know you and your son will come through this and be much STRONGER......I wish I had a DAD like you when I was a KID. I can tell you I did not and during the small amount of time I lived with my Dad 10-14 years of age I never got very close with him. The last time I did see my Dad was Thanksgiving of 1989 and I did hug him and tell him I loved him. Never saw him again and he has since past on. The strange thing is he passed away in the same city I live in now and I did not know this until 3 years ago on Thanksgiving when my cousin told me. Life is a Rollercoaster in many ways but I know that you will be Strong through all the UPS and downs.....


Thanks stokjockey l, I have learned to live each minute to the fullest. This is just one of the few downs, and he lives forbthe ups.

Not gonna lie this post brought a lump in my throat. You and your wife are raising an awesome young man, for him to be thay mature and grounded in his faith is a testament to yall as parents. I am definitely praying for a successful surgery, a speedy recovery and peace for your entire family.


Thanks Rod, and thanks for the prayers.

We have you in our thoughts and prayers. Stay strong, not just for yourself but for your wife and Codey. We love you man and we are all routing for a full recovery ❤️


Thanks Welsh. 😎👊

Your situation reminds me of personal history. Be blessed by everything you experience over the next few weeks. My prayers and faith are with you all.


Thanks @doctorjohn and thanks for the prayers.

That’s heavy. I will pray on this. I hope all goes well going forward.

Ray I’m sure it took a lot to even write this blog. It is very heartfelt and I’m sorry that your son has to go through this. He is obviously in good shape and healthy in all other aspects. I know that he will be fine with the surgery and will be back playing soccer after he recovers. My heart and players are with you, do not hesitate to ask if you need anything. God Bless.🙏


Thanks silver d much appreciated.


Everything will be fine. Anytime brother.

Ray, that just sucks! I'm sorry to hear he's going through that. What an attitude to have about it though. I want to be more like that! I'll keep Codey and all of you in my prayers.


Thanks man😎👊

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Family is not happiness all the time. Yous son's heart murmurs and the impending operation are just strenghtening the family ties and I have faith that everything will be all right. Please keep us posted. God bless.

Looked at the photo and thought, Rays boy - heck in a few years he will have a gold necklace three times the size of that one and be posting how much his stack is bigger than yours.

Wow what timing when unasked you about this the other day. I got full faith in the boy. He's got a Damn good father backing him up and that boy is a rock! 👍 gonna be ok Ray ❤

you are right. in life we have to do many things that we don't like but it may do strong us

Life isn't always fair. When faced with a challenge, we need to accept it before dealing with it. These tips may help.


Did you even read the post? Not cool


you say u fell uncomfortable isn't Right ?


Yer a fuckin’ asshat robin.