Dating After Fifty

10개월 전

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To State The Obvious

Dating after fifty is a double-weird experience. I mean, dating is and always has been cringy uncomfortable for me at the beginning, when you're first getting to know someone. And all gods great and small bear witness, getting older has certainly been weird. I know damn well I was 18 just a few years ago, but somehow when I look in the mirror, I see this fat, rapidly-greying, old wrinkledy fucker, and I think, "who the hell is this?"

And where did all the years go, where did the decades go?

Anyhow

I'll bore you with the "I remember" nostalgia game in some other post, another time. This one is about one of my favorite subjects - women. My, how their attitude changes after fifty.

The Big Five-Oh

The fifties have a devastating effect on some people. Some women hit menopause and go bugfuck crazy. Some women lose all interest in sex. Some get hornier than ever. But what they've got to offer is valued less by society than at any time since they hit puberty. Some rage against it. The best of them accept it and become really quite good company.

Men can suffer too. Some men suffer devastating impotence. Some submit to horrific prostate surgeries and are mangled forever. I'm one of the lucky ones. I have taken reasonably good care of myself, (though I still need to lose another 10-12 kilos), and everything still works, with no need for Viagra. And I'm still very much interested, but I'm no longer obsessed with sex. Being able to take it or leave it is incredibly liberating.

How It Was

When I was 18, it was an major obsession. It was like, "Oh my fucking GOD, I have got to get laid TONIGHT or I am going to DIE!!!!111oneoneone".

If it was that time of the month, or the GF just wasn't in the mood to bump uglies, I was majorly disappointed.

How It Is

Today it's no big deal. "Not a problem, hon! We'll make some popcorn, hang out on the sofa together, have a beer and watch a movie. It'll be great". No longer being obsessed with playing Hide-The-Sausage has changed my whole perspective on female company, and with that pressure dynamic reduced to a relatively minor consideration I find myself genuinely enjoying the company of women more than I have since we all started growing hair down there.

The Anecdote

Hey, I'm an old fart, and us old farts have to tell our stories, right? I mean, it's our schtick. I live in a tall apartment building in downtown Buenos Aires. The elevators, like the rest of the building, are from the early 60's, and the ride down to the lobby from the top floors can take a while; more than long enough for me to have a little chat with a neighbor. So I'm riding down, and the elevator stops at the floor below mine. Two women get on, obviously a mother and daughter. Mom is of my own generation, fifty-something. Daughter is early twenties, and has obviously invested a great deal of time and money in her hair, makeup, clothes, and overall appearance. Mom is presentable but not primped, and carrying a very small dog in her arms. I look at Mom, and there's that instant rapport that needs no assurance. "A ferocious dog", I comment ironically. "Oh yes", she agrees with a straight face.

Now, in Castellano/Spanish, nouns and pronouns are often implied or assumed, and large parts of a sentence can also be assumed, so the conversation goes like this...

Me: "A ferocious dog"
Her: "Oh yes, truly"
Me: "(he/she/it) wants to kill me"
Her: "(he/she/it wants to to kill) everyone"
Me: "(that) can be seen in the eyes"
Her: "But look, she's a girl" (Flips dog over to show me the two rows of nipples, and I'm thinking I don't need Sigmund Freud to interpret this)

An incredibly trivial and meaningless conversation, on the surface of it. We had this exchange in far less time then it's taken me to write it down. There we were, two people from different countries, different continents, different languages and different cultures, BUT the same generation, and the easy, bantering rapport between us was instant and unmistakeable.

At this point, the elevator slowed at the ground floor, and I glanced at the daughter, to see that she was shaking her head a little and regarding us both with a mixture of amusement and definite annoyance. After all, by any common definition, she was far more desirable than her mother, and given the macho horndog attitude of most Argentine men, I'm sure she was quite accustomed to being the center of male attention. Yet I had just ignored her completely, while flirting shamelessly with her mom. What can I say? At 59 I have to be nearly three times her age; to me she is a little girl. And grown men don't flirt with little girls. Her mother, on the other hand, is a very interesting woman, and I do hope I run into her again soon...

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Great read! Honest, insightful, interesting. Thank you for sharing my friend. Thank you for mentioning you write great articles for 2 cents a pop on my recent blog post. I had to come.check one out. I better make hay while the sunshines. Girls still think Im 25! At least that s what a few said tonight. Gorgeous 24 year old Balinisian girl I met tonight. It s been only 24 hours in Bali and it s quickly becoming a very smart decision to be here, when I could be anywhere.

Thanks for sharing. Upped and resteemed.

From Canggu Bali Indonesia

-Dan "World Travel Pro!"

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Thank you very much! I'm glad to hear that Bali is treating you well. I've heard about Bali but never had a chance to visit.

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You are so welcome brother. Network with some whales and be polite but direct, and you may get some support for you blog that means something. Great article. You deserve more $$$$ than my 20 cents. Bali is a blast! Have a great day!

Eres una puta bestia parda escribiendo macho, que locura, que talento.

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Jajajaja! Otra vez, muchisimas gracias por tus palabras amables.

Es dificil explicar como escribo. A veces estoy poseído por una cierta locura, y las palabras simplemente fluyen.

Dear @redpossum

Thanks for sharing your experience. Sometimes I'm wondering how would it feel if my marriage (just got married few months ago) would not survive and I would have to start it all over. I would be probably closer to 50 than I already am.

when you're first getting to know someone.

In current days finding a places to get to know new people is very difficult. Most people just stay homes on their iphones and have very little social skills. That's my impression anyway.

And where did all the years go, where did the decades go?

do you really have impression that your life has been that fast? Would you mind sharing with me if you have family and kids? Usually people with families wonder "where did my life go?".

Yours
Piotr

It's me again @redpossum

I just had a chance to read your memo. Somehow I missed it.

piotr, I have a problem. You seem to have become very one-way about things lately. You are promoting neavvy's posts, but you never do anything to promote mine. Yes, you offered once, but you put some very demanding conditions on it, including that I had to put a 5 steem bounty, at a time when I didn't have 5 steem. I don't see a bounty on neavvy's post. The last time you bothered to visit a post of mine was a month ago - you left a comment that had nothing to do with my article, it was just a plug for someone else, and you didn't even bother to give me an upvote. I am willing to help you and your friends, but I need you and them to help me in return, and that's not been happening, Friendship cannot be one-way. Help has to flow in both directions.

Please allow me to start with saying that I'm sorry for making such an awful impression. Indeed I'm trying to help several different users and neavvy is one of those people. I never meant to ignore you and I will be glad to support your content.

Past few weeks has been very messy (after over 11 years, I had to move my entire life from East Asia back to Europe). And it definetly affected my work here on Steemit.

Yes, you offered once, but you put some very demanding conditions on it, including that I had to put a 5 steem bounty, at a time when I didn't have 5 steem.

I can only say, that we are experiencing misunderstanding. I never put any conditions and I promoted posts of over 20 people since beginning of this year and only some of them did set bounty on their posts. This is always only my suggestion. Not requirement.

Friendship cannot be one-way. Help has to flow in both directions.

I fully agree with you.

Trust me, my goal is to help as many people as I can to grow. What I'm doing is surely not perfect and you're probably not the only person out there feeling the way you do.

Let's start again. Could you perhaps send me memo with link to your post whenever you publish something? It's really hard to accidentely "bump" into your post in newsfeed (since I'm following quite a number of people).

If you would like me to promote some of your post then I will do my best whenever I can. Again, Im sorry for making you feel that way.

Cheers
Piotr

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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. My apologies if I over-reacted.

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Dear @redpossum

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. My apologies if I over-reacted.

It's all good my friend. Just please have more patience. I'm really helping as many people as I can to grow their accounts on Steemit. And replying sometimes does take time.

ps.
I've also small but good news :)

I managed to get you 100 SP delegation from Mariusfebruary (he delegated already something around 10k to people from our little community and I'm in touch with him on daily basis)

Check out his account. Almost 600k SP. And he also delegated 5k to me saying that he like what we're trying to achieve. Isn't great to attract attention of serious players in the hood? :)

ps.
I also would like to ask you for little favor. Every week I'm sending few thousands memos and sometimes I'm setting small steem-bounty on selected posts. I'm spending average 10-15 steem a week and I cannot do that for very long time.

I decided that I will keep posting one publication a week and all rewards from this post will be used in following week on promoting others people content (memos / steem-bounties). Would you help me to make things happen? :)

I would like you to consider setting auto-vote with 100% voting power on my account. Again, I'm posting only once a week so I will not drain your voting power.

https://steemvoter.com/

I hope to get several other people on board of this little project. And let's assume that you can also keep my own small delegation as long as you need (or as long as we work together :P).

Cheers
Piotr

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