Anticipation is all fun and games until your dreamy illusions don’t measure up to reality. The fact is that people take mad pleasure into glamorizing things they haven’t yet experienced. It may just be about time we divorce from the idea that happily-ever-after exists - and that it exists after we have made the decision to take on the journey of parenting. I’m not here to bash on the ones who have mindfully thought about why they would want to pursue this lifetime commitment - you do you boo - I’m here to share my two cents on those who did it like they do it on the discovery channel without ever giving a second thought to what parenthood truly entails.
I may have been gone from the social media scene for a while, but you know how it is right, gossip always finds its way around town somehow. I used to think that marriage was the new “trend”, but now I’m being forced to think that parenthood is taking over. We just met, the sex is good, why not make the best of our genetic luck and pop a kid out of it? Time is scarce, and my biological clock is screaming tik tok - pun very intended.
Let’s put it another way. Would you ever take a decision that will affect the rest of your life while fucked up on coke? I’m assuming your answer is no. Well I’ve got news for you honey bun, being in lust does the very same thing to your brain, and science is here to back my claim in case your lusty brain doesn’t yet believe me. Buckle the f up when novelty wears out.
Social media only adds up to the problem by selling us lifestyles that don’t exist. I know it’s cute to your junkie-on-limerence brain to think that you and your newly lover will soon have mini yous running all over your love palace, but cute doesn’t mean real. The reality is that choosing to become a parent isn’t a decision to take lightly - all the more less with someone you don’t even know entirely. It takes years to know a person, and even then there’s always so much to learn about someone. Your late night talks about idealizing the fuck out of parenthood instead of seeing it for what it really is - an extremely difficult lifetime commitment - won’t cut it.
Admitting that the daily life of parenthood sucks balls isn’t a social crime - pretending it’s the most perfect thing in the world is. Ever seen a parent talk about the day to day hassle of parenthood with stars in their eyes? Me neither. Your kids can be the greatest joy in your life, but that doesn’t mean that being a parent only evokes in you positive emotions on the regular. If you claim so you ought to revise your lying skills. The first step in order to break the chain of unhealed childhood wounds is to be extremely mindful of our own baggage and the way we have chosen to address it. The second step is to not put a kid onto this world until the first step has been done.