“There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.”
― Sherman Alexie
When our emotional survival is at stake, seeking relief turns from a need to an urgency. Just one shot so I can finally feel ease, please! Give me a glimpse of belonging, I can no longer withstand the pain of my cravings . Give me a taste of attention, I couldn’t care less if it’s handed to me by a dangerous person. Murder away all of my insecurities, emotional fentanyl, I’ll take you in even though you’ll be the death of me.
Why don’t you show me how they do it on the wild side, I’ve always wondered what it felt like to truly feel alive. My only friend is emptiness, she likes to shame me for being one heck of a lonely mess. When I try to ignore her she comes back to me and fucks with my mind, I think they call it emotional torture.
When I manage to escape from her, I like to drink my sadness away to the point where I don’t even know what it feels like to remember. Death no longer feels like a threat, any payoff is worthwhile so long as it keeps you away from the freakshow going on in your head.