“One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.”― Friedrich Nietzsche
Emotionalbrina is back at it again, trying to shove an emotional advice or two down your lovely throat. Now let’s get down to emotional business before I lose your precious attention. Society has probably made you all too aware of the importance of financial sustainability. Or perhaps the benefits of leading a more sustainably ecofriendly lifestyle. I nonetheless am convinced that emotional sustainability isn’t a term you’ve frequently heard of, or that it is even part of your personal vocabulary. This goes to show that while we, humans, are deeply connected with everything that is happening around us, we’re equally profoundly disconnected from our very own emotional realities.
Curiously, as I searched for the definition of the word “sustainable” online, the 2nd definition that came up had to do with the environment: “causing little or no damage to the environment and therefore able to continue for a long time.” If we were to reverse the definition and add the term emotional to turn it into “emotional unsustainability” , that would mean, at least in Sab’s lingo, that we’re damaging the fuck out of ourselves from an emotional standpoint, and that if we don’t get our emotional shit together, our romantic relationships are likely to head south rather sooner than later.
If we are out of touch with our emotions, it shouldn’t come up as a surprise that we will be the same way with the ones closest to us. The basis of it all is that you can’t give to someone what you don’t give to your own person first. The opposite stands true as well. If you’re emotionally unstable, this emotional instability won’t magically disappear the moment you bring someone else into your personal emotional hell. Just like if you’ve made it a habit to invalidate and suppress your own feelings, you are much likely to use the same mechanisms with someone close to you when a highly emotional situation presents itself into the life of that person.
The takeaway is to make it a mission to practice emotional awareness. Become aware of your emotions and of your emotional needs. Create a safe space for your feelings to coexist. Try to fulfill the vast majority of your inner needs on your own. Because as a matter of fact, no one can continuously fill up your bank of needs. If you feel empty on your own, this feeling of emptiness will not go away, no matter the context, until you heal your 💜