Love in 2016.

5년 전

I was born in 1991. Not forever ago, but even in my short years, things have changed a lot.

I am one of the biggest proponents of technological change and progress of all kind. Change is an integral part of evolution, and without it we wouldn't even be here. Change almost always makes things better, but often only seen for its positive influence when that change is long in the past. So my post about love is written with the same mindset I have on life: EMBRACE THE CHANGE

The, I'm sure, over-romanticized image of a couple passionately greeting each other before the young man leaves for war is the poster child for the hay days of love. Lets delve into some obvious things that have changed since then.

We are more connected than ever
In 50 years, we went from writing love letters by hand in blood soaked trenches, taking months to get home, to casually ignoring a detailed snapchat of your face sent across the world, 1 second ago.

We have more options than ever
Being more connected than ever, we went from choosing between a few guys and gals in our small town, to literally having billions of options.

We have a lot more information about each other
From being a mysterious foreigner, we now meet people from all around the world and then on Facebook, photos from their family vacation in Greece in 2009 gives us insight into who they are and where they come from.

We have "public images" we maintain, edit and filter
We have more control than ever, over the way we look and how popular and funny we are perceived. We choose these very carefully, because lets face it, everybody likes a like and that sense of belonging is something we all strive for.

We have a much better idea, what "League" we are in
Person 1: "Hello, nice to meet you." Person 2: *Checks Instagram (128 followers)... "k bye"
Proxies for our current social status, like Instagram followers and likes, along with apps like Tinder are giving us a much clearer idea who we are good enough for, and who is good enough for us.

Porn has changed the way we view sex
Never before has it been this easy to see an unending stream of naked people getting it own. However, because porn is 100% about visual stimulation, we are rewiring the brains of everyone when they think about sex. For children especially, who have no other frame of reference, pornhub has become the core material of their sexual education.

Now lets look at how all these changes culminate in a simulated modern relationship.

Billy (23) loves Jane. Jane (20) loves Billy. They know each other through University. Jane has cheated on Billy once, 6 months ago, but she was really drunk and promised to never do it again. Billy watches a lot of porn and sequentially loves to finish on Jane's face when they have sex. He knows its a little degrading, but he likes it. Jane likes it a little to. The are currently still discussing if anal is completely off the table. They spend a lot of time together and share many of the same friends. Jane has 3219 followers on Instagram. Billy has 925. Jane gets a lot of casual Direct Messages about her physical appearance. Billy has un-followed all of the super model accounts he use to follow before he met Jane. He still occasionally checks their photos tho. At the moment they're fighting, because Billy isn't making the effort he use to. Billy started caring less, because they're not nearly have as much sex as they use to. A few hots girls have started following him on Instagram over the last week. Jane still really loves him, but she doesn't feel that butterflies like when they first met. She got 376 likes on her last photo, DOPAMINE OVERLOAD. Jane stopped looking for the original things she liked about Billy. She just feels she can do so much better. There's just so many other guys out there she knows she can get, and they all can give her things, Billy just can't. Peter is messaging Jane all the time and he's so much more fun than Billy and all the other girls just loooovvee him. Billy finds the messages on Jane's phone. He flips out. He got so angry he called her a C***. Jane cried. He went for a jog to cool down. He changes he's Facebook profile picture to one with him and "the boys". Jane changes her photo to. Jane deletes all the photos of her and Billy on her Instagram and changes her cover photo to. Billy changes his Facebook status to "Single". Todd, who has been silently been stalking Jane for the last few months, has just taken detailed screen-shots of all of this evidence unfolding before him and is sending it to his best friend, Michael. Michael: "Awhhh yea man, you should totally get in there".

*Three months later

Billy has been gymming a lot lately. He's in good shape. Instagram followers: 1721. He is a self proclaimed fuck boy and "doesn't need a chick".

Jane (followers: 5001 "Thanks for 5K <3") has a new boyfriend, Sam, but it isn't what she thought it would be. There is this other guy tho, Paul. He is really, really cool.


In 2016 there are apps for everything. Photos, Music, Friends, Taxes, Math, Entertainment, News, Lifts, Shopping, Sex... Everything. Except love. Now call me cliche, but I really still believe that happiness and love are the most important things in life. And in a society where the media, and now social media, sells us things we need in our life to fit in, be cool and appear happy, where is our app for love and true happiness?

The more things change, the more they stay the same

I'm sure all of this has showed it's face in some other way or form over the distant past, but for me it feels like we are busy creating a society that are dooming long and meaningful relationships from the start. Maybe that needs to happen?

Maybe this is Evolution's way of telling us that we have enough humans and no need for relationships and marriage. Maybe in 50 years we'll all just be 25 year old (thanks to Gene Editing) fuck boys and girls, not looking for love from sexual partners, rather finding it from friends and family (lol). But with people getting older and older, maybe in the not so distant future, potentially living forever, how long could even the very best relationship last? 100 years? 500? 1000000? Maybe we're all meant to date everyone, in a giant pool of love, treating everyone with love and respect, having sex, just for the fun of it. Maybe the cure for love is right around the corner and the app is coming out in 2018. Maybe my heart was just broken a month ago. Maybe, but who knows.

I would love to hear some comments from people of a wide age range. It will be interesting to hear what young and old people think about this.

Thanks for reading :)

#love #steemit #relationships #life #happiness

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Pornography definitely is known now to being harmful for the brain as well as how people interact with one another. It is nice to see people mention it more. Most people I know in my age group are single or divorced because of the pornography issues around them or sexual addictions. I have been married 12 years and was married first and more than half of the marriages I have seen afterwards have ended in divorce, mainly because of affairs or porn or a bit of both.

We definitely have over stimulated our brains these days and I think more people are lonely today with all the ways of connecting through the internet. People interacted more in person in the past so it was easier to maintain a relationship in general (not necessarily romantically either).


It's crazy to think that this is all on a blockchain and can never be deleted. In 2026, if I'm scrolling through my old posts and if I'm still on Steemit, I'll comment on your reply again to check if you're still (hopefully) happily married. The world is going to change a lot over the next 10 years, I think. So we old fashioned romantics will just have to wait out the storm and see where this ship is sailing. Thanks for you comment :)

It has lost the essence of romanticism


It has. Maybe we'll look back at this someday and see why it was for the better :)


i hope so

Thank goodness I'm over 40. I really feel for young women these days because many young men see absolutely no need to commit. It will be interesting to see if this trend changes when you're my age. Good luck on your quest for true love.