We have eaten this love lie for so long

2년 전
in love

Love is that thing that throws a magician out of his own heart.

Love is that thing that gets you so high and so weak in the same mille second.

It is that thing that cuts through your heart like a million blades in a moment of fear, despair, loss and sacrifice.

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Now shall we ask?

What is most important in a relationship?


Everyone once believed love is the most important in a relationship but gone are those days of Romeo and Juliet or Jack and Rose.

"Love is not enough" is on the lips of everyone now.

With time, people felt trust is the most important in a relationship but lately loving someone and not trusting them seems to be the order of the day, due to so many reasons, alot of which stem from personal experiences.

Other discourses arose pushing compatibily and understanding to the forefront. With this discourses, it is essential that two must work together as one. For this to be effective, it is neccessary that A and B possess certain trait, hence compartibility and if that is not the case, then A would be dominant while B would be submissive; Hence understanding.

Given this situation, one partner would have to put in much work than the other. Hence it becomes tasking for the one who is understanding. This becomes simple for us when we understand and accept the fact that humans are different with their wants, views and perceptions about situations.

But here we are talking about two individuals who are willing to make things work.

A little more analysis on the need for compartibility even reveals that there would be more rooms for conflicts most especially on matters where these two individuals do not agree.

How pathetic it would be to be compartible and yet not be able to understand or see through eachother?

Understanding in the sense of not being able to determine the right attitude towards a situation. Understanding as a quality needed to keep the spark alive in a relationship requires an input and an output. It requires the working together of two, where one is putting more input.

By an input I mean a cause, and by an output, I mean an effect, in this case we have a chain. In this case, dependency is established.

Both partners are dependent on one another for the success of the relationship.

Rather than fulfilling love goals, the purpose becomes to strike a balance. Unfortunately, two hearts no matter how deep they are in love are two lines that would never meet.

Or can you promise a 100% happiness and compatibility?


Now, finally, I have come to realize that the most important tool in a relationship is being independent! Each partner must possess emotional maturity and this is what most relationships lack. Each partner should view themselves as complete and adequate. There should be a meaning level of self-acceptance and self-validation.

They say it takes two to tango and two must walk together but for a meaningful relationship, one must go alone, not depending on the order for success.

This balance would never be achieved because relationship is a path filled with thorns at this junction, the next is a burning road, and just ahead a storm lurks.

Once this balance cannot be achieved, heartbreak sets in.


But with an independent mind, a lot of positives would be ruling out the negatives.

It's probably high time we stopped using "let us do this" and rather use "I want to do this".

Dependency comes with a lot of shotcomings.
It probably won't be so stressful when we find someone who is willing to be commited, who is willing to walk the extra hearts.

The popular saying goes thus;

  • Two hearts would come together and beat as one....

But We have eaten this lie for so long, it is and will always be two hearts, each beating to it's own rhythm.

Two heads, Two hearts
Two hearts, Two Heads

One purpose.

Image source: Pinterest


My Pen Bleeds!

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