Perspective

2년 전


So, this is a very personal and emotionally fueled post, but I feel that it's one I have to write.

As you know, SteemFest³ was very recently - maybe you were even there, like me.

And while it was an amazing event, it could have as well been the worst time in my life.

Why? Let me explain.

While I was in Krakow, celebrating with my fellow Steemians and having a lot of fun, one of the most important people in my life - my mother, was in the hospital.

As she told me yesterday, she was on the brink of having an extremely strong heart attack. But only "nearly" because she went to the doctor on Thursday and was rushed to the hospital, where she had an emergency-op, receiving a stent.

Everything went fine and she got back home on Monday. She didn't tell me before, because she wanted for me to enjoy the event without me worrying about her, but after getting off the phone with her yesterday and realising that I nearly lost her, my emotions broke free. (The doctor told her that she got very lucky.)

The thought alone of losing her like that - crushed me for a few minutes.

In the last years, most of my time was spent on Steem related activities (and before that on my ambitions to become a successful entrepreneur). And I often told my mother: "I don't have time right now." Because I thought: I can spend time with her, when I'm successful - partly also because I'm doing this for her - so she doesn't have to work anymore.

But when I realised that she could have been gone by now - all this accumulated STEEM, all the "success". Nothing mattered.

What good is all of this, if I can't share it with the person who raised me?

So today, I met my mother and we went for a really long walk. We talked a lot and for the first time in many years, I was just grateful for her presence.

I'm going to see her tomorrow as well and on Sunday. (celebrating her birthday)

While I'm not a religious person per-se, I truly believe in something (whether it's god, karma, universe or a positive force).

And I'm eternally grateful that she was protected and that I'm still able to have her in my life.

I don't want this to sound cheezy or anything like that, but I also believe that this is a point in my life, where I saw what truly matters in my life.

I know, I heard it so often before, but it is true: you only know what you truly value until it's (nearly) gone.

To those spirits who protected her, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart!

And to all of you fellow Steemians, take it from me (even if you already know it) - everything can go so fast, don't let things unspoken. Bitcoin and Steem are valuable, but they are replaceable - your loved ones aren't.

With that said: I will, of course, continue to have Steem as one of my main priorities in my life, but I learned a hard lesson about why it can't be the only one.

Much love,
Wolf

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I believe that hardships that sharpen our focus on our priorities are like strange angels. They don't lead us through joy, but they lead us to joy, which I would generally think of as a contradiction. I believe that usually like attracts like, so the path to joy is one we can find by following our joy. The problem is that sometimes our path of joy is a bit more one-pointed than our overall happiness is. We can easily lose sight of those things we value that are not demanding our attention.

Then, if we are lucky, the strange angels sweep in and force us to notice what had been ignored before it really is too late.

Thanks for all you do for STEEM, and glad to hear you have plenty of time to still do it AND still appreciate the time you get to spend with those you love.

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Love this dear. So well said about the strange angels ❤️❤️❤️

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interesante

I have a friend with a stent and he is doing great again. Maybe that helps.

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It does. Logic & rationalising is always helping against fear and uncertainty.

Ohhh man. Sorry to hear that but happy to hear that all end up well.

It is good to vent and talk about this stuff.

Thank you for opening up and sharing it with us. 😊

Hope she is fully recovered now.

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Thank you! She seemed very fit today!

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Awesome news 😊👍

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Hope your mother is fine already. Perhaps it was a sign from universe, to work less and spend time more with lovely people. Life is always the best teacher! Wish you all the best.

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Thank you! It certainly feels like it. Making sure not to waste this opportunity.

  ·  2년 전

Nothing is as valuable as family... I had the privilege of being raised by a mother who taught me that early on.

I think this is a bitter sweet moment my friend... Because it brought you back into balance. As I'm sure you've heard me say.. not all value is measured with money... and becoming wealthy in one way, might mean become poor in others.

I'm pretty proud of you for sharing these thoughts with the community, for being brave enough to be vulnerable. You never know how many people needed to hear this message.

A big hug brother

@meno

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Thank you, my friend! I know, you already told me something similarly, but I guess being bullheadedly also has it's downsides and I needed to learn it the hard way.

And regarding being vulnerable: I feel that's something I have to do, otherwise, how can I expect anybody to trust me in being a good witness? I don't want people to judge me in what I'll say I do, but in what I'm actually doing.

PS: I think, it also had something to do with a conversation I had with @lukestokes on SF³ about radical transparency.

so true. i always remember that we don't know how long we have the ones we love. cherish spending time with them. thanks for broadcasting this message and i'm glad you got more time to cherish with your mom! not cheesy at all... very heartwarming and beautiful! xo

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I'm trying to not take it for granted - it still feels very much unreal thinking about how close it was. I always thought I'd have at least 10 more years at least until I'd need to worry about anything happening, especially since she always seemed so fit. But nothing can be taken for granted.

I have a close friend who lives close by, and he has had 8 heart attacks, has had 10 stents installed, and one stroke; yet he is still going! He even rode his Harley to the hospital while he was having one of his heart attacks. So if angels are watching over him and her, we can only imagine. But I'm glad your mom is around long enough that you can still be there for her. Many don't get that chance...and no one is being cheesy or weak for expressing those intimate thoughts when you are surrounded by people you love and who care for you.

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Woah, that is crazy. Thank you so much for sharing this story! Gives me a bit of a relief!

Glad to finally see a real person after SteemFest3 - Guess you collected a lot of sympathies for yourself there!

And true, money, whether stored in Fiat, consumables or cryptos will never replace the loved ones - So we should shift our priorities accordingly! :)

Greets,
Martin

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Well, I was always real, but I know what you mean. SF³ was a very powerful experience, both in what I experienced and what happened at the same time, without me experiencing it directly.

Well said bro. Success is not success if its not shared. Great reminder for us all.

I wish your mother well.

We don't know what we have until it's gone. I am glad you realized this before it was too late. I lost my father at age 23, not a day goes by I don't wish I had more time to spend with him. Wish you and your family the best mate.

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Oh man. I'm very sorry! I hope you could find some peace! Thanks for the humble words.

Good thing she is doing well.
I know what it feels to lose a loved one without having shared enough time. "Later" can be a very dangerous word. One that hammers nails on our own coffins.

One of the things about Steemit, and I experience that ambivalence every day, is the amount of time it demands from us if we really want to succeed here. Worse, yet, for minnows, lots of time devoted to Steemit may translate into very little in terms o financial or any other kind of compensation.

So, you're doing the right thing by re-directing your priorities and balancing your time
It's very sad when loved ones complain about our lack of attention, let alone to lose a loved one and having missed tons of things with them because of "work".

May you and your mother have a long healthy life and may you share lots of great moments.

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Thank you so much for these words, @hlezama!

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You are welcome. My mother is visiting me this week. She lives 3-hour-drive away. We have spent as long as 2 years without seeing each other. It has become very complicated because of our crisis.
She wanted to come over on Monday. She wants to spend some time with me, Christmas even. I had to tell her not to come yet because I did not have enough money then (I had not received my paycheck, etc. etc.). I am in a very hard financial position now and I don't have my own place. I live in my mother-in-law's house, and yet, as I read your post, I started to think how I would have felt had my mother died any day after Monday.

We know life is short and all that, but it is so easy to lose perspective and be overpragmatic and constrained to domestic limitations.

My mother knows about my hardships, and yet she just wants us to spend some time together, regardless. I've learned my lesson here. So, thank YOU.

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I can totally sympathize with you. I felt the same way: I wanted to spend time with her once I'm in a better position. But this mindset nearly made me crash.

Thank you for the honest words - the current STEEM price is very low, but I hope the upvotes can give you some positivity! Take care.

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Wow. That was very generous of you. Thank you for that too. I have spent the afternoon commenting friends' post in an attempt to cheer myself up, to infuse enthusiams to fellow professors and artists who are in similar situations but who believe Steemit can be a truly revolutionary platform, both profitable and useful for the average readers.
We spend considerable time working on our posts and we don't do it for the money because we know that as of right now it is not that profitable, but we feel that if we can keep the enthusiam, develop the habit and defeat despair, we will be in a good position when Steem flourishes.

So good to hear your dear Mother found it to the doctor on time. You seem to really have a great attitude about her and Life in general. Thanks for sharing @therealwolf

I really liked this post I'm glad to hear she is okay you gotta show people how much they meant to you everyday. And yes you truly value until it's gone

Things like that do show you what is valuable in life and put things in perspective very quickly. Your mother was lucky and so were you as it has showed you what is important and it is never too late. I hope your mom recovers quickly and has a great birthday.

I can definitely relate to this as it happened to me early in my career when I lost my father. When I look back I remember trying to show him I had succeeded when the reality was he didn’t care of my position or my salary, he just wanted to me to be part of the family and be happy. I lost unexpectedly without having even considered having a family and now that I do, I regret that it is something I could not share with him. It reminds me everyday of what is important in life! Thanks for sharing!

Finally she is recovered,, thank God, have a good time my friend.

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Thank God your mom is ok. Sometimes in trying to give our loved ones the best things in life, we get caught up and spend little time with them. But things happen that makes us reflect and realize that, making time out to be with them is the most important thing. Moments with family, is very vital.

It's very emotional., and finally you both are lucky , god bless her.

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Fucking well said. I started to slow down on my way to cherish what I've got at the present while chasing that success on the other side.

Wow, I am so glad to hear your mother is OK. I can imagine it must have been a shock to hear the news about that. When I think about it, I think this Steemfest was a lot about lessons to be learned. My lessons were there definitely. Yes, money and success can be replaced, but our loved ones never will. I am glad you still have your mother to visit, and you are absolutely right: it takes these lessons sometimes to know what's most important in life. Much love to you and your family.

I'm so very glad to hear that your mom is well. I lost my dad last year and it is definitely one o the hardest things in this life- to lose one of the main characters in our story. It's good that you took stock, turning this scare into a positive for you and her :)

I actually came to your page to ask a question, if you don't mind. What does it mean to be whitelisted on smartsteem? I'm just checking this out for the first time (steemmonsters lured me there, lol)

Hi, @therealwolf!

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@therealwolf I am grateful that your mother is better now and agree with everything that you have said. I had a similar experience while I was travelling and was unaware of the whole thing for the same reason of “letting me enjoy my trip.” And true, it is the worst feeling to have that realization of nearly losing someone you love more than anything.
Hope things get better for you and warm wishes to your mother on her birthday!
Love from India! 🙂

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thanks for sharing this. all we can do is spend as much time as possible with family and loved ones and be grateful. life can be fragile and short. i never got to spend enough time with my dad because we come from extreme poverty and everyone were busy doing their own shit. things are better now but i have the same fear that you have. i guess most of us do but we make the same mistakes. i wish you and your family the best, that you'll achieve both of your dreams soon enough. and may that happen to both of us :)

Genau aus diesem Grund finde ich muss man sich manch mal ein bisschen frei nehmen und einfach Zeit mit der Familie verbringen.

A scare like that has a sharp way of reminding us where to place our priorities. It's always difficult to balance ambition and family, I think, but I'm glad you have more time to spend with her. Thank you for sharing this—it reminds me to be more present for my loved ones as well.

Hope she feels better soon...

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Right on! They are valuable but REPLACEABLE. you can't replace Mom or people. Very heartfelt and great read

Ah, there is nothing worst then realizing a loved one was in pain while you were enjoying life. I'm glad everything is working out for your mother.

beautiful post!!!...glad your mom is ok now...we really should be grateful for all the moments we can share with our loved ones

@therealwolf Indeed, thank you so much for sharing something so personal - there's much power in it. I can see your mother's deep love for you and vice versa too <3

Buddy, I just found out this post. Thank god she is fine..! At the very moment we were having fun at the fest.. that is heart-breaking. You must have had a brutal experience back then. Wish your mother and your family be healthy & happy!!

Thank you for reminding me of what's important. I should make more time and effort to be with my family.

well Timo. you take care of your mother there. contact doctors, and see ways you can lessen another seizure. its has to be with the diet or emf's.... check out if she has smart meter in the house, they cause serious health issues especially to elderly people. God bless your mother.

It feels so much like a second chance and one that is the most cherished. Appreciating our loved ones in our lives is a blessing.