Do you like free money? If so, you are in the right place. If you don’t, you’re full of shit and your parents don’t love you because you are a lying liar who lies.
Right about now you are thinking to yourself, “That was a funny joke. I was drawn into the joke because it established a common ground between the author and the audience by pointing out how everyone loves free money. Then the joke doubled down on that concept by attacking people who don’t share that same viewpoint. The end of the joke uses the words “Lying liar who lies.” That is an Example of alliteration, which is the conspicuous repetition of identical initial consonant sounds in successive or closely associated syllables within a group of words. I copied and pasted that definition from Wikipedia. Wait, how did I copy and paste things from Wikipedia when I’m still just sitting here thinking to myself? Best not dwell too hard on that. Didn’t Al Franken publish a book in 2003 called “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them?” I think he got chased out of office for grabbing some titties or something. I can’t remember the specifics. I wonder what Arsenio Hall is up to these days…”
There are many contests on Steemit that award prizes and generally foster a sense of community and engagement. I support this because it is good, and I like good things. Things that are good are overwhelmingly agreed upon to be good. That is something I can get behind and support. (Insert penis joke about getting behind someone) … (Hahaha, I said insert penis!) I’m on a fucking roll here.
Alright, so here’s the deal. Steemit is a wonderful community of wholesome people who are full of love and shit. We’re also all here for the money, so quit lying to yourself. For too long now, cynical assholes and bitter shut-ins have been woefully underrepresented on Steemit. For this reason, I have decided to host a meme contest for the vulgarly inclined. We desperately need some shit to cover up the smell of patchouli that infests our fair community.
Make a meme out of the options at the bottom of this post. I chose memes because they are easy and everyone can do them.
You have three options to choose from. You can use one, or all of them. I don’t give a fuck. Enter as many times as you want. I don’t give a fuck.
The first tag on your post needs to be “madgoatmemecontest” so I can find all the entries. Feel free to post them in the comment section here, but you don’t have to. Read and upvote other people's entries. You technically don't have to, but bitter hateful people need validation the most so in the spirit of community building, let's get a group hug going on.
Memes must be offensive, cynical, bitter, inappropriate, stupid, corny, etc. Basically, don’t say things that Bob Saget would say on “Full House.” But anything Bob Saget would say in his standup routine is good. Basically, if Deadpool entered the contest he would win.
Things like racism and homophobia are bad, but it is possible to do while being funny. Laughter breaks down walls better than fists. That is the beauty of comedy. There is a difference between being “inappropriate” and “Hateful” but anyone who isn’t a retard already knows that.
Good Example: What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on top of him? “Get off me homes!”
Good Example: What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar? “A flame thrower.”
YOU WILL BE DISCQUALIFIED if you:
Mention ANY crypto currency
Mention Steemit or anything Steemit related.
Things that are encouraged, but not necessarily required:
Dead baby jokes
Politics (But, if you use words like “Libtard” or “Conservatard” go ahead and shoot yourself in the face because you are responsible for everything wrong with the world right now)
Contest runs until this post pays out.
Important part- Money
I am giving away 10 SBI (Steem Basic Income) to the winner that tickles my inappropriate funny bone the best. Yeah, I want you to tickle my bone.
But wait, there’s more!
100% of the payout of this post will be spent on SBI for the winner, in addition to the initial 10, up to 50 Steem…so 50 possible SBI plus 10…that equals…I suck at math. It’s somewhere around a possible 60.
But Wait, there’s more!
On the off chance the payout on this contest is more than 50, I will award up to 25 SBI to a second-place winner. On the off chance the contest gets upvoted more than 75 steem, I’ll just keep awarding winners in blocks of 25 until it runs out. If this contest is successful we’ll keep doing it. You don’t have to upvote, resteem, or anything, but it would help your odds of winning because of the things I just said in this paragraph.
I have chosen these memes because they require you to actually make a joke instead of just shitposting some lazy, unfunny garbage that would probably win Fibra59's meme contest.