My Personal Dilemma

2년 전

I don't normally talk about my love life, mostly because in the past it annoys people. But I've been talking to my therapist lately and she recently told me that she thinks the only people I have a remote chance with are more introverted, awkward and sensitive people like myself. Which probably doesn't sound like a bad thing. But she also told me that more average typical people don't care to date people like me.
So basically my fears are true. Nobody really does want to go out with me...

Finding someone to date has always been hard for me. Whether it's trying to find someone who's actually single or just finding the courage to go up and talk to someone without looking like a creep. I was in a long distance relationship back in my high school days. But other than that, I've wasted my teen years being alone and desperately seeking. Now I'm in my mid 20's and I'm not getting any younger.
I've tried several dating sites and dating groups. But they're either filled with nothing but older bodatous dudes, or I tried messaging people, but they never respond.

I'll admit though, I haven't really been super active in finding a partner lately. I've been too busy with my own projects. But most of all I never really get out much anymore. Due to my current living situations and where I live I don't really get the chance to go out anymore. I don't have a car nor my license yet, and I'm always too scared to ask one of my irl friends to go and hang out somewhere. When I do go out and meet people, I usually end up being quiet and just sitting around in the background. Mostly this is due to not having much experience chatting with people these days.

The only places I really have a chance to talk to people anymore is at conventions, and even then those are far and few between. But even then I'm too nervous to go up to a cute cosplayer or someone due to not wanting to be a "Con Creep" or a stalker.
Another important thing to note about me is that sometimes when I want to engage and talk to someone and I'm too scared or nervous, I end up just standing there by them, waiting for an opportunity to say something as to not interrupt someone. So if I look awkward or creepy just standing by you, I apologise for that is not my intent to be weird or creepy.

Overall though, whenever I'm talking with a friend or someone and I mention something about my depressing love life, that's not me trying to put myself down. It's me crying out for help. That might not be a good way to go about it, but I'm so inept at socializing my feelings that I don't know how else to convey them.

I'm not trying to be a negative attention whore or anything. But it would be really nice to have some help/feedback from some friends. I just feel so alone right now. I'm just trying to speak how I really feel, and this is NOT easy for me.

Posted using Partiko Android

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