There is always a dynamic struggle between our urges and laws, social rules and moral codes. The conflict is real especially when we internalize these rules and moral codes. Having sexual urges and still being in a community that is against pre-marital sex is a perfect example of this dynamic struggle. This also applies to other drives like aggression, need for superiority, jealousy, envy and many more; they clash with societal and moral rules, conduct and codes. Worse is even the religions with their doctrines and dogmas, they try to push it down the throats of young ones with the sole purpose of growing the right way to become better youths and leaders of tomorrow or just to grow in the way of the lord, their creator. How does one survive this struggle? Pleasing one’s desires would mean breaking the laid down conducts. I am pretty much faced with this probing situation daily and so are many others, what can be done?
Growing up as a child in a Christian family, it was easier to keep up with what the society and church wanted from me – to be good. They made me believe that being good and doing the right things by avoiding wrongs, would make me have peace with my soul. The ball game changed when I became aware of my urges and the satisfaction I felt with fulfilling those urges coupled with the guilt thereafter, that one of the moral conducts have been bridged by my incessant need to explore. My lustful desires burning up with so much hunger to be fed while the psychic structure Sigmund Freud referred to as Super-ego tries so hard to fight against such desire. This makes me doubt the existence of my faith sometimes. What if there is no god, no place to be sent for eternal suffering and punishment for failing to keep up good moral conduct while on earth, a place called hell, what if it is non-existent? What if there is no heaven, a place that Christians believe is a reward for living righteously while on earth, what if it is non-existent? It could be that we have just this life to live, no one after, all punishment and rewards could be given here on earth, so why don’t I just live this life to the fullest, not caring about laws and morals. The dynamic struggle between my ID and Super-ego results in so many thoughts.
The rate of atrocities in the world grows concurrently with the increase in churches. What some Christians are capable of these days are things unheard of. Though we are striving for perfection, which is one of the reasons for the existence of the church, so we can rub minds with one another like they say “Iron sharpens Iron”. This just shows that everyone goes through or experiences this struggle. Those that could not resist withholding theirs, and is been caught in the open, are termed bad and immoral while those that are lucky enough not to be caught are seen as good. The truth is, we all got our skeletons locked up in the cupboard.
I am a sole believer of the saying “Do what makes you happy”. I feel the struggle between doing what we feel like and what is considered wrong in our conscience. Once our conscience feels guilty about that which has been done, then we should probably not engage in such. We should try to repress urges that are considered immoral to the mind and focus on things or skills that would serve as a distraction and also play a pivotal role in the increase of our abilities. When urges clash with morals, let the conscience decide.