2019 - year of change

6개월 전

Today, I sat down and started to think how was my life in 2019. My first though - it was crazy. Yes, crazy.

First thing first - in January I lost my job. The official version of why I was fired, was that there were too many workers and too little work. Unofficially, what I found out 2 weeks later is that I was fired because of epilepsy. So, epilepsy began to affect my life.
I was down. This was first time that I was fired. I can't describe those feelings. I was given 2 options - working for another 6 weeks or staying home for 1 week, and after that I will be gone. Without any support money. So I asked to stay home for 2 days to decide. And of course next day my stomach said I'm in shock and stress, so he needs to be active again. We can say, I spend next 5 month in a bathroom. 6 pills a day, which didn't help anyway. I lost 5 kg in 2 months, I didn't eat or drink, I was without energy and beeing in hospital every week was exhausting. This was first time for me to be without job for so long. So, I was caught in my mind. So much free time was just to much for me. I have to be busy, otherwise I'm thinking about things that just get me into a world, where everything is black. And then one day I had enough. I'm I crazy? I'm without job, I'm free and I'm receiving money from health insurance. I can do whatever I want. Morbus Crohn was still active but I pushed every negative though and pain away. And of course Steemit helped a lot. So many support and writing about everything that come to my mind, was so relaxing, and every morning my first thought was about what will I write today.
Being without job got me thinking. My previous job - working for Amazon and being on the computer for 9 hours and looking at the screen made me more tired than being a waitress and dealing with drunk people. Strange or not?
I was always happy around people and I love to entertain them. And then one day it hit me. I want to help people and I want to be around them. I decided to go back to school. After living in Austria for 5 years I was confident enough to do that and I was convinced it was the right decision. And so I enrolled in a school for helping people. This is a program where you learn how to help older people, how to nurture them and entertain, and help them in the last moments of their lives. This program also teaches how to deal with children and how to prepare them for life. But I knew it from the start that I want to work with elderly people. This was the moment when something in my mind changed. After 28 years, I finally found my purpose. Of course I was still not convinced I would be able to finish school in this language but after this few shity month's, it was no longer important, I just wanted to finish it and finally make something with my life.

The first day of school was quite a shock to me. To understand all these medical terms in German language is fucked up. Yes it is.
But I was studying for a few hours a day, which was very strange for me, because I was never interested in learning, and I never tried to go back to school. But now I was learning. With pleasure. My parents were really surprised because they always had to force me to study at least a little bit. And now I'm doing this on my own? And in another language? Surprise surprise, I also know to be a hardworking student;)
My health was improving day by day and somehow I started to forget about the problems that surrounded me.
Summer has passed and we decided to move in another town and in a bigger apartment. We found perfect house for us with a little garden.
I started my internship in September and I was so excited about this job that I could hardly wait to finish my education and finally start working.
However, in October, we focused only on learning, because in November it was our last exam and it was not easy.
I was very surprised that I managed to take 10 exams and succeeded, which is amazing for me because of my knowledge of German language.
I had a month to prepare for my final exam. As life subsided during this time, seizures recurred. Grand mal seizures which lasted even 2 minutes. Of course, because of one attack, I lost my teeth. They been temporarily repaired, but when the attack happens again my teeth will break again. It is necessary to collect 5000e for repair in order to make crowns and that they wont break during the attacks. A pretty big challenge considering moving into a new apartment and needing money for this.😂
Then the day finally came for the final exam. Fear, nervousness, excitement, all at once. The first thought that struck me when I entered the classroom was - talk a lot. I answered every question asked by the commission, and I spoke and spoke. Towards the end, the professor stopped me and said, OK, we see you know, so I didn't have to answer the last question. I did it. I made it! I was proud of myself. Yes. 😁

I started working in December and I couldn't be more excited.
We work 12 hours a day because the health care workers in Austria are divided into 12 hour shifts. But time goes by so fast, that you don't even feel like you've been there so long.
Working time is really great because, for example, I work 2 days and then again I'm 3 days free or I work one day and I'm 2 days free, currently I'm 6 days free. Great for my terms :)

People make me laugh every day and this gratitude they show is indescribable.I really love this profession and I hope I will manage to brighten the last moments of these people's lives...

So, this was year 2019.

And year 2020? Time for new opportunities, new acquaintances, new challenges and most importantly - a disease-free year :)

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Guys, I wish you a lot of love, happiness, health and a lot of new post on Steemit ;)

With love, @tinabrezpike ❤🍻

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