Our Abundance Of Choice
If there is one thing that almost all explicitly detracts from the enjoyment of relationships these days, it's an abundance of selection. An excess of choice—the despotism of excess. We see it as a measure of our liberty and that we firmly believe that freedom of choice can result in fulfilment.
Individuals walk optimistic looking not into the eyes of their romantic partner however over their romantic partner's shoulder, just in case there may well be someone better walking by.
A Perpetual Cycle
This is not the road to successful long relationships. It doesn't stop with marriage. And it undermines commitment by encouraging individuals to keep their choices open.
It is the result of a consumer society. It's a self-fulfilling development. If you think that there can be one thing better round the next corner, then there'll be, as a result of you're not absolutely committed to the relationship you have.
It's naive to expect relationships to feel sensible every minute. Each relationship has its bumps. How big a bump does it need to be before you are doing something regarding it? If you are perpetually asking yourself whether or not you ought to leave, there may be a day when the answer is yes. In any marriage, there could also be a day once the answer is yes.
Constant Search For Perfection
One of the issues with unrestrained selection is that it raises expectations to the verge of collapse. A sense of multiple alternatives, of unlimited chance, breeds in us the illusion that perfection exists out there, somewhere, if only we could notice it.
This one's sense of humour, that one's looks, another one's charisma—we return to imagine that there'll exist a world where all our desires become a reality. We rummage around for perfection as a result of we believe we are entitled in a way in which that despite the facade of perfection we still believe there is something better and we can never settle.
If perfection is what you expect, you'll perpetually be frustrated, says Schwartz. We become fastidious and sad. The cruel joke our psychology plays on us, of course, is that we are terrible at knowing what's going to satisfy us or at knowing how any experience will make us feel.