Yes or no? Doesn't matter, it's your decision

8개월 전

Why don't you have kids yet? The question that has been following us over the past couple of years.

I’m almost 100 % sure that every one of us heard sentence that “Kids are our greatest gift” and every parent think so, and that's probably what future parents think too. Why? Because maybe we want teach kids manners and how to behave and to direct them to the right path, to prevent them from the mistakes we have been making, so generally to raise a person who is a reflection of us but perfected.

I can’t tell you for sure because I don’t have kids, but I am 28 years old and now is this time when everyone around me started having children, so I’m surrounded with them 😊 and this is the time when everybody start asking me and my husband why don’t we have kids, and this question is becoming more and more common and it is getting really uncomfortable for me to answer with no.

Each person has a different lifestyle, different expectations, and different goals. No one is the same. But social expectations are often hard to reach. Once you are married, living on your own, with a good job, and an even better salary, and a savings account, then the next thing you are expected to do is to have a baby.

Apparently, it is not enough to have a dog.

We immediately condemn when someone is in a long relationship or is married and has no children. Maybe they didn’t tell us that one partner may can't have children. It does not occur to us that they may have been trying to conceive for years and years through artificial insemination, but unsuccessfully. Maybe one partner is sick and wants to have a baby but unfortunately, he still can't, or they lost their baby during pregnancy and didn't share this info with others. After all, maybe she/he or you both don't want the baby. It's not everyone's mission to be parents. Some devote their lives to career others find priority in animals, and others in helping people and other kids. Similar pressure is exerted on parents who have only one kid. Why should I have two kids or a bunch of them? This is the decision of each individual. If you are choosing to have a child, you are choosing one for yourself, not for the hope that she and her partner will be able to save the relationship in this way because they no longer understand each other and have no other common goals than having children, and not because of your parents or grandmother's desire for a grandchild or great-grandchild, and least of all because the world dictates so. This is a matter of you and your partner and not the people you're surrounded with.

Let's be more considerate and not so judgmental. We do not know the past of those people, and maybe we don't know what's the background story. Think before releasing any foolish commentary and hurting already heartbroken people.

I'm surrounded by kids from my friends and they are amazing, and I love them, and maybe we will have kids, maybe not. I married my husband because he is my soul mate and he makes me happy and not because we will have kids. I married him because I want to stay with him for the rest of my life even though we will maybe be alone and with 5 dogs and 3 cats. 😊

We have been living in Austria for a few years now and some years ago our friends also moved here, and they got a baby 11 months ago. We really do visit a lot and so I can say that I follow him in his growth, and I'm amazed at the actual development of the baby. They visited us yesterday and the baby walked 4 steps for the first time. Not only parents, but we were also amazed and happy. This is a great achievement of a child, even if it's not yours :)

So, whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you, because this is your decision and that is all that counts!

Let's meet Kenny 😍
I’m taking photos of this sunshine every time I have the opportunity, so that means all the time 🤗

( Just so you know, I'm allowed to post this photos) 😉

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May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” —Nelson Mandela

Thanks guys for reading, and till the next time 🤘😎

With love, @tinabrezpike

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Hi Tina,
Awesome photos ... what a cutie!! You make some excellent points about having children. The wonderful Sadhguru agrees and has said not every should have a children ... it is a very special endeavour, not necessarily for all!

Have a great day :D

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Thank u :) yeah you are married and now everybody expecting baby 🤦‍♀️ and they don't understand that is still so much to see and is not necessary to have a baby right away and this is then so hard to explain...stereotypes...but this gentleman have some interesting points...:) I'm sending this to my family 😂😂