Why Are the People Running Things Such Goofy Bastards?

3년 전

I have the answer. It’s pretty simple really.

Because normal people don’t want to deal with the giant sack of cow-shit that is “politics” and “public relations.”

Let’s better define our terms:

People Running Things = Any of the various idiots at the uppermost levels of government or large corporate entities.

Goofy Bastards = Existentially silly creatures having only a tentative grasp on the reality in which the rest of the world finds itself forced to exist.

Everyday brings a plethora of new examples and exemplars.

Partisan politics is always a generous donor of “wacky shit that makes no sense to normal people.”

Take U.S. President Pickle-Face Mustard-Hair’s recent word-vomit attacking the only-slightly-more-respectable Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

President Worn-Naugahyde Skin Face strokes out over his keyboard and the random sequence of half-thoughts and crazy combine to say something along the lines of “Judges who rule in a way I don’t like are just partisan hacks.”

Well, yeah, of course that’s sort of true. That’s the system you’re stuck with jackass. If you’ve got a problem with it, hop into your Area-51 time machine and file a formal complaint with those Founding Fathers you love so much.

I’m sure that in between powdering their wigs and raping their slaves (lookin’ at you Jefferson!) they’ll take the time to listen to the unhinged ranting of an anthropomorphized orange-yellow Troll Doll from the future...

After this brain-fart, the Chief Justice responded with the required lie that no Judges are partisan, and we should believe that because obviously Judges are super-humans, as we recently experienced when Justice Kavanaugh demonstrated the super-power of “Confirmability,” even after spending many nights shoving his penis at and into women who were very much not into spoiled-rich-white-frat-boy phallus.

Of course, after President Palin 0.5 and Chief Justice Bobert has their say, the Minority Leader of the Senate, Chuckie Shooms had to get in on the action. (Thankfully, and uncharacterisricslly for a Person Running Things, he managed to get involved without also involving his penis).

Senator Schooner wanted to let everyone know that the right honorable Chief Justice is correct that partisan politics should be kept out of the Courts, even though the Chief Justice is a partisan scumbag who should pick Senator Chuckie’s side more often when deciding cases.

Normal people are watching this and wondering if we they all just throw themselves out the window of a tall building right now, and end it all.

Because they can’t understand how these cretins can be such goofy bastards AND be in charge.

Until they remember a simple fact.

Normal people don’t want to surround themselves with so many aggressively insane bullshitters...

Or their penises.

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