Why some people are always late to everything?

4년 전

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It might be hard to believe, but there are people who seem to be unable to go to socials gathering and arriving on time, despite having planned schedules and having their eyes constantly fixed on the clock. It is problematic, especially when this delay, which is based on the time at which the trip to the meeting place should start, is worsened by unexpected incidents, or when there is not much trust with the people who are waiting.

Being late insults others, but it also undermines the person who is late, because it may betray a lack of intelligence, self-knowledge, will power, or empathy. For instance, it may be that the person who is late has set unrealistic goals and overscheduled his day, or underestimated the time that it takes to travel from one place to another. | Source

Arriving late tends to be very annoying for both the person waiting and the person who is late, and yet it is very common to leave with just the right time (or even at the time the person is supposed to be at the correspondent place). How can it be explained that it costs us so much to learn from our mistakes and leave in advance so we don’t arrive late? There are diverse reasons that can clarify the existence of this "chronic lateness" some people suffer a lot.

What could be the reason for this tendency to be always late?


There have to be a reason that explains why some individuals are almost never on time, while others have an almost perfect punctuality. Can this difference have something to do with some psychological aspect?

People with a narcissistic personality are prone to have problems when it comes to understanding and respect the time and well being of others. This means, among other things, that they will not realize the fact that each time they arrive late, it will cause discomfort to the people waiting and, in fact, they may find some enjoyment in making people wait for them.

Ms. DeLonzor reveals that chronically late individuals often share certain personality characteristics, and may even perceive time differently. | Source

In the end, making themselves to be late to any meeting on purpose can be a sort of strategy for them to create the fantasy that they are important enough so that everyone has to wait to enjoy their company.

Another reason could be the need to find shortcuts or methods to move forward quickly and the release of adrenaline that is associated with being late can be considered some type of sport, in which case they arrive late for a kind of strange pleasure.

Because of this, it is possible that it can end up with an addiction. So, the fact that some people, unconsciously take advantage of every social gathering or meetings to use those as an excuse to have a little adventure against the clock, could be understandable.

There are many more explanations about why a certain individual may not want to arrive a second before the agreed time, but its important to notice that these people don’t necessarily want to cause harm to the person waiting.

The main culprit in people being too early or too late was their time estimation bias. To get yourself where you need to be at the right time, you need to keep your internal clock in tip-top shape. It helps to use environmental cues, especially if you think you’re not very good at estimating time. | Source

Arriving early can be seen as a complete waste of time. It does not give the feeling of serving a clear purpose. Faced with the prospect of arriving too early and not doing anything for a while, it is certainly possible that many people prefer to consume a little bit of time by doing things that are apparently productive, such as cleaning the house, reading a book or even taking time to rest. Of course, this preference towards productivity that leads to their chronic lateness would probably not be present if they didn’t have the perception of having to choose between that or spend an unproductive time in the place agreed for the meeting.

Arriving early can also means spending some moments of monotony and discomfort. Waiting for someone requires being in the place without moving for a few minutes, with nothing to do and without being able to go anywhere else. Just as it is known that the other person may be upset if he or she has to wait a long time, the people who tend to be late is aware that they can also be the one disturbed if they were the one waiting.

On the other hand, for some people waiting is a small challenge in which they must look interesting and offer a positive image of themselves while remaining alone because others have decided so. People can smoke, check the phone or put well thought poses. A situation similar to that which occurs when we go in an elevator with unknown people, except the elevator only lasts for a few seconds.

When it comes to your personality type, unfortunately, there's not too much you can do to change that. But accepting that you need to overcompensate for it may just help. | Source

Conclusion


It is fair to say that for these people to arrive early is something negative, and a possibility that must be avoided. Therefore, they discard the chance of leaving with enough time left (either due to a conscious or unconscious decision), they only have the option of arriving just at the agreed time or later. And, as the alternative to arrive late is obviously much more common than the first option, it is therefore, the most recurrent of the two possibilities. Result: late arrivals, every time.

So now, if we think that one of the reasons shared in this article can explain some of the occasions in which people are late, the main thing is to recognize it and fight for this to stop happening, perhaps by speaking with the person about this annoying tendency.

Have you ever been late on purpose to a social gathering or a personal meeting?

If so, can you share with the community why do you think you did that?




References

mayoclinic – narcissistic personality

psychologytoday – the psychology of lateness

neverbelateagain

psychologytoday – why are people late

sciencealert – chronically late


Images sources
All images are from pixabay

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I am always late not because I need attention or what but because I'm just too slow. I was always late from high-school till now and swear I'm actually doing my best to stop consequent tardiness but the heck! It just wont. Hahaha. Now I'm scared about the possibility of narcissism. Great article as always @dedicatedguy... You are never late in making amazing blogs. 🌸

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I really appreciate your kind words and awesome comment! :D

I can really relate to this post. I am, and have always been chronically late. I find it interesting that you said some people can become addicted to the adrenaline of trying to beat the clock! I never really thought about it...but yes...it is somewhat exciting...driving fast and watching the clock. It seems as though even if I give myself plenty of time to get from point A to B...I’ll end up fiddling around...over estimating the extra time that I’ve given myself...until, ultimately I’m late yet again!
I also have anxiety...I think the idea of showing up too early scares me...it’s like...”what am I going to do with myself?”

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What you can do then, is arrive a little bit early, but instead of waiting in the place, take a short walk around it and consume those boring minutes that way.

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Yeah...I suppose this is true...I could get some excercise in too! Lol. It’s hard to change a life long habit...but I don’t want to be thought of as narcissistic or inconsiderate either! I hadnt given it much thought before!

you are absolutely right...
it happens to most of the people..
well written..

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Yeah, everyone of us have been late to something at least one time in our lives, but being late always is not that common.

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I hope we will be good friend on stemit..
and upvote each posts..
https://steemit.com/seeworldwthmyeye

Great article. It's true, in a social situation, arriving early or late would impose a certain advantage and disadvantage. If you've decided to meet someone at a particular point in time, and they are late, it could be quite annoying (unless of course, there some acceptable reasons for it). They have to know that, the world, doesn't revolve around them.

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You are right, perhaps it would be much easier to simply pick up another person and arrive together, so even if you arrive early, you won't be bored while waiting.

I have the opposite problem. I'm always EARLY! And I hate being early, because like you say, there is that awkward moment of being alone having nothing to do. I tried many times arriving later, but I'm unable to do it! I simply cannot be late even when I'm trying (I try when I know the other person won't be there on time). I even have nightmares sometimes about arriving late at work, which almost ever happens. Doc, please analyze that LOL

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I am not sure about this, but at least in my family I have notice that the people with the more stress and anxiety are the ones always worried about arriving early to everything.

In my case, I obviously don't like arriving early, and in college I always arrived late to class, but you don't look like someone full of anxiety or stress haha, so perhaps you were just raised that way?

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I'm a stressed person, I just hide it very well =). In University I always finished papers early and never arrived late to anything. I'm teaching myself to stress less, but when I travel for instance I'm the one always worrying about arriving on time to train stations or airports. I always take charge of logistics because I'm a control freak...I'm working on it though =)

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Oh well, train stations and airports are a different subject because probably everyone do worry about arriving early to those places just in case, especially the airports :P

Women are born being late to everything. :)

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ahahahaha who knows man that might as well be true!

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Funny thing - in our family, it's my husband who's always running late, and I'm the one who gets to everything early! 😜

Another funny thing - I always tell him we need to be someplace about 15 minutes earlier than the actual time. He knows I do this, and yet he still runs late so we end up getting there just about on time. 😆

You called? Lol.

Wow you paint a pretty bad picture of late people. Some people are late because it is the norm or they are just not aware how time flies.

But I agree, it is not good to make other people wait especially if the wait is too long. Huh.

I remember that property client of mine who made me wait for 4 frickin' HOURS!!! And she expected me to go back and accompany them when I had already left. The nerve!!! Not even an apology or any explanation whatsoever. Tsk tsk.

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The norm? I am not sure where being late is the norm haha.

Waiting 4 hours is atrocious! I guess you never did business with that person again?

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Well come over to our country and you'll be more lax with time. Hahaha.

Of course I never did any business with them anymore. I mean who does that? I bet even she won't do that to their friends or family members. They asked for the appointment but they didn't come on time. Wow.

"Ponctuality is a politeness of kings" , I really try not to be late. But sometimes I think that subconsciously I say to myself "meh, he can wait a little".
Thank you for making me realize how bad it can be.

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No problem bud, thanks for stopping by!

I used to be everywhere early. Now I try to avoid wasting the time and come on time, which doesn't translate as coming late in my case. Just once I missed the bus. But the buss left the stop 20 seconds earlier, which should be counted with.

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Well if the bus leaves early there is not much we can do right?

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It shouldn't leave early, but it is Czech Republic. Sometimes it is good to be on the stop a few mins in advance.

I have to set my clocks ten minutes fast in order to get myself out the door on time. Interesting post for sure.

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I do something similar, which is to instead of using just 1 alarm, I put another alarm 5 minutes later. Although this is just to be able to wake up on time, but still, it is related

A long time ago I was also late for everything, at one point there was something important in the workplace, I was late for a photography job where I was hired after that moment and all the claims I received learned the lesson of life!

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Those jobs are very delicate because the photographer should usually be one of the first ones to arrive so he can take pics since the very beginning.

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if brother only passes once

I'm sure people are chronically late for different reasons. I can tell you one thing that will make people late though...kids.

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You are totally right with that! Although anyone can take proper precautions, but yes, kids can delay everything, I have seen it in close people.

A coach once told me "Give priority to those who give you priority!"

In other words, always give priority to those who respected my time over those that didn't.

I'm usually punctual, even if I know I'll be a few minutes late, I'll make it a point to inform the other party up front. As a matter of fact, I rather arrive early and perhaps just get some light work done first. I always have a few tasks that takes likes than 15 minutes to complete, like data entry or quick research on a topic.

As to why others were consistently late, well, either it's a habit they have, or because in the past, you've allowed them to be late. Some people are just not conscious about time. While I'm punctual going into a meeting, once I'm engrossed, sometimes I accidentally extended the meeting, which could also be disrespectful of other's time too. That's something I'm trying to fix for myself.

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That coach has his good share of wisdom!

Sharing our time with people that appreciate us is the best thing we can do, otherwise we would probably end up feeling miserable.

I am always late and trust me, I squeeze no satisfaction out of it nor do I fool myself by believing I'm better than the people waiting for me. In my case it's simply a reaction to having been stood up repeatedly for years...
Now that I come to think more carefully, I might just not be that smart and am just unable to schedule my time :P

One thing is for sure, I just discovered my condition has a name chronic lateness, thank you for that!! :)

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It must really suck to have been stood up so many times. But either way bad habits don't last forever, eventually you will start to be able to arrive on time for any gathering haha

  ·  4년 전

They are self-centred, think the world is just about themselves and take things for granted.

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Yep, you might be right with that.

I know these 'late' people from the time I was the boss of 50 employees... There were a few persons they were always late..

When I spoke to them seriously about this things, mostly the result was (for me) very easy: e.g. buying a louder clock or taking an early train... and it works!

So as you say.. just talk to this 'late' people about the topic! It will help...

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Of course, talking about issues are the best way to solve them!

You have a minor spelling mistake in the following sentence:

So now, if we think that one of the reasons shared in this article can explain some of the ocassions in which people are late, the main thing is to recognize it and fight for this to stop happening, perhaps by speaking with the person about this annoying tendency.
it should be occasions instead of ocassions.

I always late cos i dont like the feeling of waiting. Its either i come on time, or few minutes later. Never early. Ill have others waiting for me instead. 😂