The psychology of Self Loathing, and listening to your T-Shirt.


Self-loathing is feeling. It's pervasive, and many times so deeply buried that we are not even aware of it.
Feelings of 'not good enough' can have a detrimental effect of every aspect of our lives.
It's both subtle, and habitual.
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Indicators of self loathing include comparing yourself to others all the time.

(part of the conformist mindset).

If you're constantly finding fault with yourself (listening to the critical inner voice) and are preoccupied with thoughts of embarrassing yourself in front of others (or appearing stupid) , it indicates an over dominant super ego, in Freudian terms.
Trying to suppress these feelings of inadequacy is is often over compensated by behaving in the opposite way to the inner feelings that drives us.
This can be done by trying to prove to others what we are not -insecurity).
The psyche also tries to avoids the internal berating of the self, by projection onto others (judgmental).

The Causes.

The causes of self-loathing lie in the past when, as children, we were trying to cope with our lives using the tools that we had available at the time.
A lot of this depends on the parenting that we received and the early environment in which we experienced it (the formation of the superego).

Parents own self-critical thoughts and feelings are often directed towards their children (unconscionably) and if the parent(s) have their own unresolved issues this can affect the reactions to their own children.

Children of all ages pay more attention to - and are more affected by - even small incidences of parental anger. Of any negativity.
The younger the child, the more impact 'the negative' has on them.
If the child experiences a parent’s anger as being life-threatening (imagined or otherwise) they will feel threatened to the core of their being - and quite literally - frightened for their lives.

When children are afraid - they stop identifying with themselves. (ego development occurs later on - after the 'super ego formation').

A helpless child will, instead, identify with the punishing parent. (who is the prime influencer in the construction of the superego).

The parent is assimilated into the child as they are at that moment - when the parent is at their worst , and not as they are in every day life.
This imprinting on the child's psyche - in extreme times of emotional stress has a far greater effect than when not under stress.

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It can be seen on today's world - with the covid psi-op.

By the governments creating fear through propaganda campaigns( creating intense emotional stress ) the grown adult who's emotionally immature , retreats into trying to placate 'the angry parent' (the government).
They conform - all in an attempt to deflect 'the parental ire'. (obeying government rules in this case)
The adult (emotional child) will take on the fear of the message and experience the motions themselves!

So the child fully absorbs the 'emotional message' of the parent - and this then leads to a self-hatred.
...The loathing of 'the self' in adulthood.

Self-loathing is an underlying theme among many adults.

Identifying self loathing within yourself.

Recognizing the fact that the process of self loathing does not reside in your consciousnesses is important, even though the self critical voice that you hear may make it appear to be so.
This process is diametrically opposed to your own self-interests.

Your conscience might tell you not to have that one extra drink, while your unconscious self loathing may well lures you into taking that very drink - which then , in turn attacks you for having taken it (feelings of guilt are very closely aligned to self loathing).

Overcoming Self-Loathing.

A negative point of view towards yourself is very rarely warranted - with some exceptions that will generally include a compromising of some moral or ethical standards that you've contravened.

Addressing the issue of self-loathing.
By becoming aware of yourself - and acknowledging that their is an division that exists is a start.
This allows for a more rational assessment of events that happen, without defaulting into the 'self loathing, inner critic, mode'.
Once we can identify this process that's going on within us, we can think more objectively about ourselves.
Challenging this habit toward self-loathing is one of the most valuable uses of our time and energy.
As we free ourselves from our own inner critic, we can experience ourselves more authentically - and thus, from a more empowered perspective.

When your T-shirt doesn't say, how your mouth behaves...


Actions do speak louder than words, and in the area of self loathing, they positively SCREAM at you!

The conflict between the two inner voices , manifests itself constantly in the real world.

Do you constantly talk about your future plans? Your long term ambitions, while at the same time eating unhealthy foods today, and putting weight on? Not exercising? Making yourself unhealthy with your actions, while your words lie? (you are lying to yourself).

How well do you really know yourself, if you're planning for the next 30 years, while at the same time, living a lifestyle that points to a reduced life span?

How authentic a life is that?
You can fool the gullible (i.e yourself - if you are not self aware) with all the right words , but you can't fool your own mind if you know yourself.

And if your body (your T-shirt), is not in alignment with your words?


You have now discovered a way to know yourself more - and with that - the new power within yourself to change things.
To live authentically.

Whether you have the courage to bring your thoughts and your actions into alignment with each other is another question...and that's all about the journey of knowing yourself and growing up to be the adult - and not the child...


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