What if the husband is dismissive and how to empty space?
I practice sitting in various public places and answering people's questions about my problems. But I wonder what problems psychologists seek advice from. And now I often see this question: “My husband treats me like an empty place, behaves scornfully and consumerly. Tell me what to do? ”Seriously? What advice do these women rely on? For a magical tool that suddenly turns a tyrant husband into a respectable and loving man who suddenly begins to give flowers? Sorry, but the science fiction department is on another floor!
What to do if the husband constantly insults and humiliates? Can a psychologist help?
Abandon these hopes of re-educating your husband. Few women have succeeded in reality, and you are unlikely to enter their lucky number.
Remember, they treat you exactly the way you allow yourself to be treated!
Do you care that your husband does not value you? What does a husband penniless your opinion? Have you become a housemaid for your husband? Does the husband constantly insult and humiliate?
Do you value yourself? How did it happen that you made a similar attitude towards yourself?
Usually, in this place, my colleagues begin to talk about the Karpman triangle: about the victim-tyrant-rescuer game. Or they begin by analyzing the family scenarios of the spouses, where the man grew up in a family where male violence against a woman is encouraged, or the mother was a tyrannical woman, and when the boy grew older, he began to take revenge on the woman. Or they analyze the family scenario of a woman whose mother in the family suffered the aggression of her father all her life, so the girl grew up prone to addictive relationships. This is all about addictive relationships.
Do you know ?! All this is good, as an explanation ... But what to do?
Relations exist as long as both parties support them. The sooner you finish this relationship, the more chances and time you have to live a happy life. Throw away your illusions that the husband will change and everything will be fine! Do not entertain yourself with memories - “there are times when I feel that my husband loves me.”
Nobody will begin to appreciate you if you yourself do not begin to appreciate!
I admit that you have already forgotten how to "value yourself, feel loved and desired woman." But remember: you may have had these moments in your youth when you felt significant and independent! Try it, well! If you do not remember these moments in your life, if you are used to feeling like a jerk, a little and insecure girl, then you urgently need a psychologist!
When can a psychologist help?
Not when you want to change your husband. With similar requests, they run around fortune-tellers and witches. And when you decide what is enough, and it's time to change something in yourself.Then you can seek psychological help. Do not expect this to happen with the wave of a fairy wand. This is hard work on yourself, complex, lengthy and painstaking.
Have you ever wondered why some women get so much from men: recognition, attention, expensive gifts, love? And other women only insults, humiliations and neglect? Probably, because the first category values itself highly, and the second category does not value itself in any way. This is the very self-esteem that is talked about so much. It's all about self-esteem.
Do you know this situation when you are being scornfully treated? Or maybe you know one of the friends who lives with her tyrant husband?
Start changing yourself today! Not from Monday, not from the first day, but today! And the first step - choose a psychologist and make an appointment! And the second step - go to this very reception. Then there will be more steps: start regularly going to this psychologist.
But remember, a psychologist will not make you a happy woman in a happy marriage. We agreed that the psychologist is not a fairy.
Your happiness, your self-esteem, your life is the result of your efforts! And no magic.