Gender roles of the Wheel of the Year #8. Samhain: A woman who survived the loss (widow) and A man leaving a woman.



Samhain is almost here. Among other things, Samhain's energy will "switch on" two following gender roles: A woman who survived the loss (widow) and a man leaving a woman.
You can not live life and never experience a loss. It can be loss of a loved one, loss of thing, loss of inspiration, energy, feelings. In any case, the loss affects us. In particularly severe cases, we are talking about trauma. The state of loss can be experienced very long. So, psychologists assert that in case of loss of the close person the term of experience of loss can make one year and nine months.
For different people, the sense of loss will be different. We often find it hard to understand what the other person feels. Have you ever comforted a child who lost his toy? You thought it was such a trifle! But his grief was real. In this case, we must be tactful concerning someone else's loss, no matter how small it might seem to us.


Losses play an important role in our psychological growth. The ability to live a loss and let it go is a very important skill. "Hanging" on the loss, you can easily spoil your life.
It must also be remembered that loss often frees up space for the new to come into our lives. No matter how painful the situation was at the moment of loss, after a while we often begin to realize that it was for the best.


Often the inability to survive the loss is associated with the fear of leaving the so-called comfort zone. You had to meet people who for years are in a toxic relationship, suffer, but still do not go away? The fear of losing uncomfortable, but such a familiar relationship keeps them.


The consequence of the unprocessed role of A woman who survived the loss is the inability to let go. It can relate to anything: inability to break off relations, inability to leave uninteresting work, inability to clean your house of junk. This can be associated with the inability to pay the loan, because, as the saying goes, you lend someone else's money, and then you give your own.

The opposite situation arises when the role of a woman who has experienced loss is hypertrophied. This situation can be described as a loss of the joy of life. Favorite phrase of a woman with the hypertrophied role of a woman who survived the loss: "I do not need anything anymore, I do not want anything anymore."


The role of a man leaving a woman in a traditional society, when humanity led endless wars, was very literal. This is the ability to leave. Today we consider this role somewhat wider. This is not only the ability to leave in the literal sense, but also the ability to say "no." For example, when a husband is forced to refuse a wife in an expensive purchase.

When the role of a man leaving a woman is not sufficiently developed, such a man can not refuse a woman, regardless of the wisdom or unreasonableness of her requests. Often such a man is called henpecked.
The hypertrophied role of a man leaving a woman makes him in one who says "no" in response to all the woman's requests. This is also a man who is not able and does not want to take responsibility and, faced with any difficulties, prefers to leave the situation. In psychology, this behavior is called "the Bun syndrome"

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