Showcase April - Thoughts from a Mexican garden, a forgotten garden

2개월 전


This garden hasn't been mowed, trimmed or taken care of in any way for the past two months. It is rainy season in Puebla, Mexico, so it's not surprising that the grass is so tall and the bushes are so wild.

It almost reminds of that Jurassic Park 2 scene where the velociraptors ambush the baddies by hiding in a tall grass part of Isla Nublar.

My dad lives here, but he's sick and can't take care of the garden - even though he loves gardening - and there's no money to pay someone to do it.

But I'm here now and I'm planning to get this garden back to its ancient splendor, where our big dogs can run freely, the small dogs can explore without feeling they're in the jungle, a garden where my dad can go chill and take get healthy sun while drinking a beer and having conversations with his wife; a taken care of grass where someone leaving the house can see a garden and not a wasteland.

That's the first point in a very long to-do-list of things I have to take care (in-real-life-wise) now that I'm back in Mexico.

Well, actually, that's not the first one. That's the next one. The first one was going to the doctor and check how are my blood levels going. They suck by the way. I spent 8 months taking medicines, eating healthy and excercising on a daily basis, drinking less and smoking even less - I stopped smoking from February to July - and my blood levels got better - not perfect but better - but once I ran out of medicines in Europe, my blood levels went back to terribly alarming levels, worse levels than in December.

So I spent around 250 dollars, I have to spend that amount every two weeks, in doctors, analysis and medicines.

That's one of the reasons I came back to Mexico - among others of significant importance. To treat myself, to try and get better. These past months in Europe were amazing but I kept feeling tired, without motivation, drive or even strength. I managed to have a somewhat normal life and excercise a lot but deep inside I felt like a shadow of myself, the same way I've been feeling for the past few years.

Even so, I still managed to travel non-stop for 3 years, but I know my trips would've been 10x better if I felt at 100% of my capacity, energy, motivation and strength. They traveling was still awesome and I don't regret anything, I lived things that 99% of the world's population doesn't even imagine of experiencing but some days - maybe more than some - I had to call it quits and sleep early, skip an adventure or say No to some drinks because I felt too tired to even do anything.

But now, my blood levels are something to really worry about and I'm sick of always feeling like I'm operating at 50% of my true potential/capacity. So, no matter how much I have to spend, sacrifice and neglect, I decided my health comes first.

Don't worry, Steem is my third priority, almost head to head with my family and my dreams of being a world traveler. So there's no worrying about me neglecting or sacrificing my Steem involvement - just maybe my Steem stake, because I need a lot of money to you know, not die from ilness.

But right now, as I'm spending time with my dogs while not being able to sit in the little breakfast table hidden in the garden, I decided to write a long post speaking about my thoughts.

I used to post daily, sometimes even twice a day - and a few crazy days where I posted three times in the span of 18 hours - and I remembered how much I like writing, how much some people liked reading my pieces (or so they told me) and how good am I at these freewrites (or so I think) that I decided to make a post, hopefully the first of series that will mark my return to posting daily to Steem.

I don't love this freewrite to be honest, I think it could be better. But that's the beauty of freewrites, you can't edit them or re-read them. The key of a good freewrite is just writing what comes to mind, to just vomit every thought you get and make the best out of it. I started writing like this for myself, to get things out of my mind, to take some burdens off my shoulders, to get my mind rid of worries or ideas that consume myself if I don't share them. And then, out of a sudden they became Steem posts, posts that people liked reading and voted on, commented and sometimes made them follow me.

So I'm sticking with this writing style and now it's pretty much the only style I use for Steem when I'm not posting contests or writing about offical topics. I hope you like it, but I also hope that you understand that it's been a while since I wrote something like this, so please spare me if there are spelling or grammar mistakes or I don't seem to portray my ideas the best way. I'm just getting back to the Coliseum after a couple of months of not fighting - or even grabbing a sword.

This post was originally posted in August 2019 and it's part of my initiative called showcase April, where I'll post the best content I've done over the past three years.

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