Full Of Energy!
The days are hot once again, but I no longer feel fatigued! That means my fatigue wasn't caused by the heat like I thought at first.
The new supplement surely made a big difference for me. I don't know what I would do without it, because I would've probably spent the whole summer laying in bed most of the time.
I'm so thankful that this supplement found its way to my life!
When it comes to lucid dreaming, I had no progress there since the last time I posted. My dream recall got a bit worse than it was, but it's still quite good compared to when I was taking Dream Leaf.
I manage to fill my dream journal quite a bit and it takes at least 10 minutes.
Even though I hadn't had any lucid dreams for some time, I had an interesting experience yesterday.
I can't say it was scary, but I did panic a lot, because I felt trapped and I couldn't escape it.
I had a very strong sleep paralysis from which I was unable to wake up even though I tried calming down a lot and focused on moving my fingers and all that stuff...
Paralyzed In Front Of TV
Yesterday I decided to watch some TV before going to sleep. I was pretty tired by the end of the day, because I played a lot of basketball.
So, when I was watching TV, I could barely keep my eyes open. I thought I'll go to bed when I finish watching one more episode of The Simpsons .
But, I fell asleep before I finished watching it.
There's the thing. I feel asleep on my back. Which is suuuper rare for me. I have to be really tired for this to happen.
Seems like whenever I fall asleep on my back, there's like a 50% chance for me to go into sleep paralysis, LOL.
Anyway, my brain woke up, but my body was still paralyzed. I heard the TV while I was in this state!
At first I didn't realize I'm paralyzed. I thought I'm just laying there with closed eyes. But then, I decided that I should go to my bed and sleep, because I'm not watching the TV anyways.
I tried to move, but I was unable to do so. I immediately realized what's going on, but I didn't act calm as I was suppose to. I kinda went into panic mode and I tried moving every single body part.
It's kinda weird, because it feels like you're actually moving your hand or any other body part, but then you realize you haven't moved at all.
I slightly opened my eyes multiple times and I saw the light from the screen, but I couldn't see what was on, because I didn't want to open my eyes fully.
I was afraid that I will see some crazy hallucinations if I did so. I've read somewhere that when you're in sleep paralysis and you're trying to move a lot, your brain creates hallucinations for some reason.
So, I kept my eyes closed all the time, only sometimes opened them slightly to see the light from the screen.
I tried screaming a lot, but it didn't work either. It's even weirder than trying to move, but it's hard to explain. It's almost as if I open my mouth and it almost seems like I'm screaming, but no sound comes out.
The Illusion Of Movement
This went on for an hour or so... I could tell by the sounds that came from TV. I actually heard everything, but I couldn't remember any of the dialogues when I finally woke up later.
Anyway, my attempts to move and scream still caused a crazy hallucination by the end.
I heard my father came back home from work. I could tell by the sound of his car. I even heard him climbing the stairs. I though to myself, "Thanks god, this is finally over!".
I remained calm and waited for him to come and wake me up.
But... He came in and started punching me in the face. He then threw me on the ground and started kicking me and I couldn't do anything.
And bam... I'm back in the same spot again like nothing happened. This is very weird, because these kinds of hallucinations happened to me a few times.
Once when I was living with a roommate, I got paralyzed and I tried moving and stuff like that, just like yesterday. Then, it seemed like I got some control and I literally crawled out of my bed.
It was extremely hard to move and I couldn't stand up. So I slowly crawled to my roommates bed to wake him up and ask for help. When I got to his bed, I was trying to push him with my hand and...
I'm suddenly back in my bed again, unable to move.
Once I was talking with my friend about sleep paralysis and she told me that she experiences it quite often. At least once a week.
A lot of the times she has some crazy hallucinations. She told me that there's some creature standing besides her and this creature throws her into the wall.
And then her body suddenly returns to the bed like nothing happened, just like I did in my experiences.
Anyway, back to yesterday's experience, shortly after the hallucination, my father came back for real this time and he woke me up.
I was questioning reality quite a lot then!
I wonder if I could've actually entered a lucid dream if I remained calm and tried to visualize something. If I get paralyzed again, I'll try to act differently...