It was already dawn and I was very excited to wake up beside the man of my dreams. The previous night had been a steamy one and I chuckled when all the memories flashed through my mind. It had been a very long time since I had felt that way.
My Fred was snoring. I had despised this part of him so much when we first got married but with time, I learnt to live with it and endure it. Love is all about endurance, so they said. I languidly turned my head to fixate my eyes on the wall clock. It was 6 a.m already and I knew it was time to wake up and do the things that endeared me to Fred.
I first freed myself from his grip and sluggishly wiped smidgens of saliva from my cheeks. It took sometime before I could find my panties. It's what I spent the first few minutes of every morning doing whenever Fred was around. He always flung it like he was fighting the Germans and I enjoyed the energy with which he went about it. I also enjoyed those first minutes I spent looking for it every morning. I finally saw it and it was a little bit messed up. I knew I coudn't wear that again.
In the kitchen, I was about to switch on the electric cooker and boil some water when I realized that I just missed a perfect opportunity to peruse somebody's phone so I hastily tip-toed back to the bedroom and picked his I-phone 7. The device was locked as usual but something was different, the password I had cracked before he travelled was not working anymore and after I had tried thrice, a screen popped up asking for his fingerprint.
A silly thought crossed my mind at that point. I knew it was silly but I really wanted to unlock that phone at that moment. So to make it easier and less awkward, I snuggled back in bed and tried to grab his right hand. As I looked at his face, I pressed his right thumb against the home key but the phone vibrated violently with some air of disapproval which would make one believe that it knew that a third party was trying to interfere with the privacy of its master.
Next, I grabbed his index finger and pressed it firmly against the key but the same process repeated itself. I kept doing this with one finger after the other till I got to the little finger. The repeated feeling of deep vibration on his fingers must have made Fred really uncomfortable. As he woke up just when his little finger was half an inch away from the key.
I was angry. I knew I wouldn't have such an opportunity again anytime soon. Besides since he had just returned from a trip, it would have been a perfect time to stalk his call log and spot out that imaginary bitch I'd be suspecting for too long than I could recall.
But he was awake now and I knew I had to play cool or land myself in serious trouble . Surreptitiously, I dropped the phone and pretended as if I was still asleep.
'Goodmorning mon Amor,' he whispered in my ears. ' I hope you had a wonderful night rest.'
'Goodmorning My Love,' I replied after waiting long enough to convince him that I was woken up by his greeting. 'Last night was my best night for the past two weeks.'
He had a soft guffaw, having fully understood what I meant. 'I'm glad I made you feel that good,' He said, pulling me closer to himself.
'I guess it's time to go and make us breakfast,' I announced. He reluctantly released me after a long wait as he mumbled, 'It's good to be back home.'
I stretched when I stepped down from the bed and grabbing one colourful pillow, I walked five steps towards the door, then turned towards him and flung the pillow against him.
'On your feet, naughty boy,' I shouted with a smile.
'Ouch!' He exclaimed. 'Are you not supposed to be nice to me, atleast on my first day back home?
'Nice Keh! Were you nice to me when I travelled back from London? For saying that, I will hit you again.' I said, as I walked towards the periphery of the bed to grab another pillow. He was waiting for me to go within his reach for as soon as I had gotten reasonably close, he sprang from the bed in a giant gambado and gave me a hot chase while I sauntered away, screaming on top of my voice.
He didn't stop until he hit me with the pillow he was carrying. I stopped running and faked a cry. He reached out to me as usual and kissed my forehead as he Sang
'Cry Cry baby.
Baby Baby Fanta.
You want to see your Daddy.
You wan to see your Mummy.
I laughed hard and tried to free myself from his grasp but when it was obvious that it was a lost cause, I begged,
'My personal Lord and Saviour, allow me to go and cook for you.'
'Now you are talking.' He said with pride. I slapped his chest and tried to run again but he slapped my butt. I gave up.
Fred liked Fried plantain. 'Plantain is life.' He'd say as he stucked slices and slices of this sweet meal inside his already stuffed mouth. I knew he just liked this meal no matter who prepared it though he spent all his time to trying to convince me that it was only the one prepared by me that he enjoyed. I knew it was a big fat lie as his Mom never failed to announce his son's undying love for plantain. How could his Mom have known that he loved plantain if he only loved the one prepared by me?
Though I knew that he was lying, I liked the way he said it and most times, I would argue for no reason just so that he would try to convince me. The only time I didn't do this was when we were with visitors.
I placed the kettle full of water on the gas cooker and before I could finish removing the skins from the ripe and soft plantain, the water was already singing sweet melodies in the kettle. It was a whistling kettle and Fred had bought it online after I had repeatedly forgotten the water I had boiled on fire while it boiled away and completely evaporated leaving the empty kettle on the cooker which almost set the house ablaze. I did this almost thrice and Fred saw the need to buy a whistling kettle. This produced a whistling sound whenever the water started boiling and one could hear it from the sitting room. This saved my life many times.
I poured the hot water inside a flask gently to avoid any splash. Then I proceeded to fry out Hubby's delicacy. I arranged the cups of tea and slices of plantain on a tray and proceeded to set the table for breakfast. I knew he would be excited to be welcome back home with his favourite light meal and I was at his service.