Dealing with a Talker when You are a Builder

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Ever go into a restaurant, and everything is just perfect? Food is great, service is not too overbearing or too slow, prices are reasonable, decorations are on point, and the menu has just the right amount of appetizers, entrees, sides, and desserts? Some people look at that and say, “I could open a restaurant like this, it looks easy.”

Of course it is not easy! Running a great restaurant is the end result of fine-tuning recipes, hiring and managing flighty food and beverage employees, buying fresh ingredients every day, and keeping a sharp eye on income and expenses, and hundreds of other things only restaurateurs know.

Or if you are watching a football game on TV, and someone says, “Look at that coach, he’s hardly doing anything, I could do his job!”

They don’t see the years of learning plays, the days on the road recruiting players, dealing with the owners, opponents, and all the other little things that are necessary to show up ready on game day. All they see is the coach standing on the sideline calling plays.

My favorite, when you tell someone that you are building a new business, they say, “You know what you should do,” and then proceed to talk out their ass about what you should be doing, because, you know, they are experts on everything.

You literally spend every waking minute for years thinking about how to make things better, and they just spout off about it as if you should immediately take their advice. No skin in the game, but happy to tell you what to do!

In any of these situations, you know you are dealing with a talker, not a builder. Talkers think things just happen, and have not experienced the hard work, the ceaseless pondering about incremental improvements, and the embarrassing failures, both big and small, that the builder knows intimately.

There are so many things I want to say in response, but I don’t. I used to try to explain to these people why, in each of these situations they are talking about, how it’s not easy, why it’s not simple. I don’t do that anymore. It’s like explaining color to a blind person, there is just no common frame of reference.

Whatever I say would come off as arrogant, condescending, or insulting to them. Instead I say something bland, change the conversation to something innocuous, and see what I can learn from them. They might not know how to build a business, but there is usually something they are good at, and it’s fun to find out and learn something new.

Every once in a while there is some recognition, but it comes about 10 years later. Builders play the long game, have multi-year plans, and even though it might not be apparent in the short term, the plan and process eventually makes sense to people. About a past business I built, people say, “That was a great business! Y’all had a great reputation - why did you sell?” 

Why did I sell a successful business? Builders know….talkers don’t.

Photo credit: by Helena Lopes from Pexels



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It's better not to explain , because, whoever wants to understand they will do so without any explanation.

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Some people actually don't have a clue, if they're a good friend you should not skip the chance to teach them.

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I'm sure experience made you recognize a person who is talking coherently or with knowledge about a certain topic. Of course everyone has an opinion, some are experts some other are from they many points of view that we as humans are used to find. Every opinion counts, but the most important is to have very strong "criteria", so we can listen to everyone without loosing ground!!
Great post @Blockops!!
Glad to find your blog through Steempress and the initiative of @Paulag!!
I'm posting from your WordPress!!
Best Regards!!

@steempress that's a pretty slick experience y'all have put together. Thanks for making it easy for me to publish on wordpress and on steeem at the same time!

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steempress rocks welcome on board. I was just looking around your site and I hope steempress can encourage you to be more active again.

I will have to check out Steempress as well.

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Would be awesome if you did! Don't hesitate to reply to me anywhere on Steem, or DM me on Discord, if you have any questions. Hope it can add something cool to any blog out there while also helping grow Steem!

This is a very educative and inspiring write up to know the various advisers in this life.

Posted using Partiko Android

Just integrated steem press to my blockchain music website, haven't made any post yet though.
Nice post.

Truth is, they are ready to speak and counter anything you say,kind of feels they are programmed that way.
Those types always feel they know more than others.
Its better being a listener than a talker, when you talk, you say what you know, but when you listen you gain more knowledge and things to know and say next.

Not everyone thinks the same way or has the internal resources required to run a business, obviously, you acknowledge this. And you do so in a very positive way.

Nice post, and welcome to steempress :-)

I can relate to this so much, as I find myself continuously reminding people of just how easy it is to be a critic. It's funny how many people seem to assume that because they are able to spot an imperfection, they are somehow better than those who built it. Not considering that 1. You still have all the work still ahead of you to come up with a better solution 2. Still all the work yet ahead of you then to execute on that solution, and 3. Perfecting it to the point where there's nothing to critique may still not be a worthwhile priority over all the other stuff one has to do with limited resources.

Anyways, good read! Happy to see you trying out steempress, and curious to hear any feedback on how it could work better, look better on your blog if you choose to use the comment section, or otherwise how we can attract more and bigger blogs to Steem!

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Hi Blockops

I just sent you a note via steem.chat which I hope will be of interest for you. Since you may not check your inbox there regularly, I thought to notify you here.

Cheers,
Shaka