I never realised how much I loved you until we stopped seeing each other, until you left downtown street. It was a life change without notice, I'm crazily heartbroken although my feelings where never out on the table for you to see. Sometimes I wonder if you will ever know how I felt for you...I guess it's a no.
I would give anything just to be with you, just to see you running down the street one last time, maybe just maybe. I would give anything just to take a glance at you again, anything....
Lately I've been thinking about you, not that I got nothing doing but something just reminded me of you. How long has it been.? Wow, I lost count. I know we both have different lives now but sometimes, I can't help but wonder how my life or the series of events would turn out to be if only I did get the courage to tell you how much I cared about you and how much I'm willing to give. I am writing to tell the myself about the love about the love I never had.
Honestly, there was a time that I can't even sleep, thinking if should tell you or not. I was horrified just by thinking about it. I know I should have told you, I should I have.! I think what you know is that I am just a neighbor in the neighborhood that lives down the lane.
But silently, I am really scolding myself for not having the guts and courage to tell you, thinking that you might scare the hell out me, thinking I would be harshly rejected, I was afraid to get hurt but I was wrong, wrong, all but wrong..! It hurts even more thinking that there wouldn't be any chance of telling you what I feel anymore.
Your pictures still haven't faded in my memories yet and am wondering why you still look incredible in my eyes and my imagination's. The sad part part about secretly loving you is that I'm silently crying behind closed doors just with thought of not seeing you again.
Sometimes, I wonder how it feels like being yours, watching a movie on the couch, goofing around, eating out, or just by simply hugging each other to sleep or maybe try watching the sun set. I could only wish because I know for a fact it would never happen.
The hopeless part is writing this and not being able to get you to read it for I know not what part of the world you are right now....whether you have found a lover in that part of the world, whether you are in his arms now hugging each other or maybe kissing each other but I just hope not.
However, I would get to save the piece of writing hence a part of my heart now lives on it. Someday, somehow, someway we meet again or we don't.