How to Save Your Relationships by Embracing a Sense of Pessimism...

2년 전

Hi, dear Steemians!

Pessimism? How is that even possible? You may be wondering if you read that title correctly. Well, you did.

In this article, we are going to talk about our relationships, especially romantic acquaintances and how they are important in shaping our future. Our idea of how romantic relationships should be is an important aspect of our adult life.

How well we understand our romantic side is an important determining factor of how well we do in our social life.

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There is a wrong idea in our culture that embraces the romantic fantasy of finding the ‘one’ true love that is a perfect match for you. A person who is a hundred percent compatible with your personality, thoughts, and ideals.

Our society, especially our culture, desperately struggles to prove that there is a such a person for everyone in this world, and if we look carefully enough or tolerate the length of the journey, we are eventually going to find that person.

This obviously leads to a problematic way of thinking which will inevitably leave you alone for the most part of your early adulthood, because you are searching for your ‘soulmate’ and cannot find contentment with other people.

People who are even trying to get your attention.

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First of all, there is no perfect human being. The idea of a perfect soulmate is contradictory in itself, as we are all blended with flaws and shortcomings.

Love is often a mutual respect and understanding shared between two human souls. To ruin that with the idea that someone should have certain qualifications to meet your standards is as absurd as it is improbable.

You could come to this mutual respect and understanding with someone you like. You may not like everything about them, but you enjoy their company and love certain aspects of their character.

You may even start to fall for their flaws, because you know that these flaws are what makes them truly unique and special.

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Some of our cultural and artistic movements want you to think otherwise.

They want you to save yourself for a ‘soulmate’ that may or may not arrive. Evolution, the whole of nature, the laws of society, and every logical assessment of our life can renounce this dangerous idea with imperial evidence.

That is why, a certain optimism and wishful thinking about love should be discouraged. By embracing the pessimism and denying the existence of a soulmate, we could all find and cherish love in the most honest and candid way.

Because love is not manufactured in a company. Our relationships are founded on a mutual understanding and a sense of belonging in the company of those we like.

Someone you already know and adore can be a good person to build the foundations of a romantic relationship with.

Do not waste your opportunity for peace and emotional satisfaction because of your fallacious perfectionism and your deluded idea of a grand romantic tale.




Important Note!

I have been working very hard on this blog since the beginning. I have a very busy life but I am giving my best and believe me I have shared experiences that I have been coaching thousands of people and I know that the change of the Mindset should be daily. I am already grateful to see you giving upvotes to each other and you can see this with the fact that many already have 8, 9, 10 upvotes. But I'm sure that with the effort of all of us we will see a community with, 40, 50 upvotes and for that everyone should get engaged so we can make it come true. I believe and we can! Resteem...

***Remember Community: Please, if you commented and upvote on a new post I did, please always go back to the previous one because if someone in the community commented lastly because of time zone differences it will be without your upvote and that would not be fair.

You all know the goal! We can reach: 50+ Upvotes each others!


I'm reading all the meaningful comments from the posts.

I am here making a list of all of you who have helped build this community by voting for each other who write meaningful comments and soon I will respond to everyone with comment and thank you all because I can already see this spirit being built in this Positive Mindset community and help between all of you.

You will receive my upvote in all material and brief comments I will do this in all the posts I am following very closely and I can see what the people who are generous and contribute to this legacy that I am trying to build with all of you can become reality in a short time.


First of all, I would like to thank all of you, who are the most active and proactive in this community, showing your generosity and always with meaningful comments. From now on I will always make a list of these incredible people who have helped to expand our goal of growing ever more.

But I ask that if you are new around here you read many of the previous posts because they make it clear that we are building a community with respect among all, generosity and this blog is for those who really want to start moving their Mindset to positive and moreover be part of the growth of all of us who contribute to this blog. Please do not ask to include you in the list if you are just wanting upvotes because we want here people genuinely attuned to growth and good attitudes and as I have always said with Respect as the basis of all, generosity and positivity!


Feel free if you want to be included in the list of contributors to this community. Just ask at the end of your comment.

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Thanks All of You!!!!

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  ·  2년 전

Such an amazing article I love to read it really I'm a big fan of your writing skills. Thanks for sharing this awesome article. Thanks allot again.
Love from @ajks

Dear @chbartist
The importance of relationships can be understood by the same person who is connected to family or society and has the ability to carry responsibilities. Such people save the relationship from scattering. If we take the example of the head of a small unit family who strive to keep the family happy while facing every circumstance. In fact, he keeps himself in trouble to save the relationship. These things also apply to a family, society and country. Pleasure of pleasure is always followed by sadness, so enjoy every situation. Suffering and happiness are two aspects of life.
Thank you for making strong community

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Perfection can never be a requirement in these types of things as perfection would never lead to betterment and improvement. While we should shrive for perfection, we cannot expect it to occur in order to move forward. Seek the things we can improve to build a better example instead.

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This is the beauty and importance of knowing and understanding the different temperaments, personalities, and intelligence of people.
No one is perfect. Everyone has a unique ability that is deemed weakness or strength by others. Accepting other's personality and capability will give you the perspective of working with him/her, not changing him/her.
Sometimes we want to change others, but in reality were the one who needs to change.

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Sir you are saying very nice subject here about save relationship I think
Pesslmlsm is the belief that bad thing are going to happen. thanks for sharing your thought I like .

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Mutual understanding+mutual understanding=Perfect soulmate.
Because there is no perfect human being.
Great article @chbartist on the subject of the relationship.

@chbartist, When it comes to Relationships then we have to bring out our inner understanding because relationships need balance and that balance comes from the understanding. Every individual is unique, so balance is vital. Stay blessed.

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Since nobody's perfect in the world so we should accept the person without any conditions. If we keep looking for the perfect person then we may get disappointed after certain point of time. Small small things in another person can be ignored and that is the secret for the happy life. Relationship is successful when we have happy and peaceful life but maintain that we must ignore things which we don't like about our partner. This is the way of happy relationship.
Thanks @chbartist for the nice post

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Perfection is something that is so desired yet so difficult to achieve. For me striving at excellence is far more easier and profitable compared to perfection. The fact that we are human makes perfection even more difficult to attain. But then, these flaws make life even more interesting, flaws give rise to excellence.
In relationships, I just believe you create what you want to see. You want a rich spouse, then encourage him or her to work harder and more creatively, support him or her, rather than making huge demands that make your partner feel inadequate. You don't want a lousy spouse, then encourage him or her to choose and count his or her words carefully before saying them out. Real Relationships require a great deal of work to raise and maintain. Relationships that last for life never started with perfection, rather they thrived on tolerating and managing flaws that could not be corrected.

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Yes, it is very necessary to have a devoted devotion to each other, along with that there is a very important role of faith, because the foundation becomes weak without faith.

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Hola chbartist,

Tu post ha sido seleccionado por el bot de @provenezuela, te hemos dado un voto en apoyo a los autores venezolanos!

Gracias por ser parte de nuestra comunidad!

Many thanks to you @chartist, I also bring my warmest greetings to you. In the past, most parts of Africans having that kind of romantic love was difficult to find, since it your parents have to go and request your partner that they think will suit you. So you do not have a say, even the lady or the gent you are to marry you have not seen his/her face before neither have you talk to him/her before. This led romantic love to fade out from our marriages after we have married. Some even married their partners reluctantly, since elders were respected so much that whatever they say can never be refuted.

Love is heaven, heaven is love, we should all try to learn how to love instead of hating, to be happy in life. Your excellent writing is very helpful for establishing wonderful society. Thanks.

I think this was a great piece. I agree completely with your point that we are constantly trying and failing ro find this fictional soulmate that we aren't paying attention to the people we do come across daily. Also, the over romanticized fairytale love story is so rampant in our culture, it is hard to break away from this lie we have been told all our life. It makes sense that soulmates can be absolutely fictitious but the notion even right now makes me feel bad so that's pretty amazing. I am sure I am not the only person that is conditioned to think about soulmates and what we think we know of love in this overly optimistic way that even the consideration of it being false renders a negative feeling in response to the thought. That just goes to show that we are trained on what the perfect relationship should be and not to settle for the "wrong" one. I also think this attitude is part of the reason people do not work things out or weather through a storm because when it gets rough, they chalk it up to the fact that they probably just aren't soulmates and then they end the relationship. I feel like people move on too quickly because they are constantly searching for that perfect person and they also don't even know themselves very well.

Buenas noches amigo @chbartist, es ta en toda la razón en este articulo, yo ome unas palabras del reguetonero Don Omar en unos de sus concierto hace muchos años que dice "EL AMOR ES LO QUE NOS VA A MANTENER VIVOS MI GENTE", siempre debe estar presente en todo, el amor al prójimo, al trabajo, a lo que haces en tu vida cotidiana, pero ojo hay que construirlo, no nos va a caer del cielo, feliz noche amigo de parte de @jorge090202 desde Venezuela y gracias por su apoyo y sus sabios consejos.

When you look at how much time people are investing in television, it's no wonder thinking changes. There is always a happy ending. you always get his big love, everything as from the picture book, or just from the television :-P
Looks less TV and lives in the real world with real people!

I firmly agree with the philosophy of this post. I don't believe in soulmates, but adhere to help mates as described in the Bible. Things like respect, integrity, commitment and a willingness to be open and communicate must be present daily for a true partnership to flourish and persevere through all of life's events. A desire to defend and bend to one another and most of all forgive shortcomings is absolutely imperative for this kind of union.

Love is often a mutual respect and understanding shared between two human souls.

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To keep the love of the beloved, should maintain regular contact with them, Fethia morning and evening is important daily, in addition to the need to tell the beloved what is happening in the life and things in the life of the lover, and send some pictures and sound recordings from time to time, through an effort to maintain Continuous communication, you will feel the love and interest and will keep it, but it is advised to avoid excessive communication, so as not to lead to aversion. Spend time together Have some fun time with the beloved, On the Internet, watching documentaries, or editing Together, as well as the pleasure of reading together, watching television programs, movies, music, news, etc. When reading and hearing the same things will increase the common things that will promote love. And celebrate them in relationships, such as celebrating Valentine's Day, birthdays, and other occasions, and making every year of these years special and exciting in a special way, for this you must work on planning and preparing for these occasions, to please the beloved and show the desire to maintain love and passion, For many years to come


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Very well said @chbartist, yes no human is completely perfect for anyone. For a relationship you have to ignore some of the unmatchable quality and encourage the matchable quality. And its better on that person to choose by himself or herself his patner with which he/she feels more comfortable.

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Well said no one is perfect in this universe but all wants a perfect partner ,they never judge themselves. Relationship became fake when people mindset that lust is love , then relationship start going to hell , because relationship is just only mutual understanding and respect eachother.

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Relationships are based on love and acceptance, accept with virtues and defects, learn to live with things that are not equal to us, have tolerance, I have always thought that the difference is a complement, because if we were the same in everything, it would be like leaving with myself, of course you have to have the same tastes in most things, but the differences would make a complement, which we must accept.

An excellent overview @chbartist and we should always remember that love is not a fairy tale at all and certain pessimism makes it a reality. You're right, need to love those around you and not wait for the prince on a white horse, because you can simply not wait. Love and you'll be loved!

I completely agree with you, our love for someone must be honest and sincere, which of course can be achieved if we take a sober look at things and pay attention to people who are nearby. You can search for a "soul mate" all your life and not find one; therefore, a certain pessimism will give us a new look at the future!

Thanks for sharing this beautiful advice tips about relationship.
Whereas pessimism about the future my encourage people especially to live more carefully.
Faith mutual understanding and respect is the most important part relationship bonding forever.

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We have a whole generation disillusioned and uhappy because of this 'fantasy trap'.

Keep your feet on the ground, and see things based in 'what is', and not what 'should be'.

(the word 'should', is the biggest guilt inducing word, in the English langues, imo..
It 'should' be banned! lol)

Yeah finding the perfect a soul mate is like coming across Jesus in real life. It just wont happen :P
I say live your life, explore different types and just be you.
You might find the "perfect person" so to say to be with, that's until the money runs out. Just a heads up. Its life.

Share love how much you can and make happy others and yours...

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Wow wonderful post you showed great things or facts about relationship and love. Basically in our world mostly peoples make relationship for their own purposes such as for money but some don't want to make relationship ship with black colours people. If colour of girl is white than she will try to make relationship with white girl or boy I think this Thought should be change. But thanks @chbartist you explained very well in this article keep it up you are like a motivational speaker on steemit.

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To label someone as Pessimistic or Optimistic is often wrong. There are situations which calls for optimism, others require pessimism. And sometimes a little nihilism doesn't hurt either.

We are a perfect creation with imperfect tendencies but we are also unique and with variable characteristics, on the romantic side we are that orange half, that complement that instead of looking at the imperfections we must consider the virtues of the partner.

Very good community proposal @chbartist

Relationship is giving and sharing with respect to one another through the power of love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love one another without expecting in return.

:)like the way you put your argument here. I would like to say it a caution more than pessimism. May even describe at being practical and pragmatic in life. Nice post.

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This is the rarely used terms but means a lot when we are discussing about problems in our personal lives.

So true, great written article!


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Love always has its difficulties. But it's worth it

Well spoken @chbartist. I completely accept your philosophy why because everyone is imperfect and we can find perfection in anyone except we accept our own imperfections first so that we can condone others imperfections too. Love is a beautiful thing and loving people for who they are no matter their flaws makes it more beautiful.

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Ich bin noch ziemlich neu hier aber Deine Beiträge sind wie immer ein Gewinn. Sie regen zum Nachdenken an und lassen einen auch mal Pause machen um wieder zu einem Selbst zu finden.
Jeder von uns hat seine Liebe irgendwann kennengelernt. Es war etwas besonderes, was unsere Aufmerksamkeit und unsere Gefühle entfacht hat. Dabei haben wir nur das gesehen und gefühlt, was wir wollten. Nach und nach erkennen wir erst, dass wir nicht vollkommen sind. Hier liegt die Betonnung auf "wir".
Keiner ist vollkommen und auch wir selbst haben uns nur von der "guten" Seite präsentiert und versucht unsere Fehler zu verbergen. Wir wollten für unseren Partner auch nur gut aussehen und haben uns nicht "richtig" dargestellt. Alle unsere Eigenheiten (negative) haben wir verborgen und erst von Zeit zu Zeit kommt das "unvollkommene" in uns zum Vorschein. Für mich ist das die Phase, in der wir entscheiden, ob die Beziehung hält, oder keine Zukunft hat. Erst wenn diese Hürden überwunden sind, hat man wirklich den richtigen Partner/In gefunden

@chbartist we should not have a communication gap between relationship, otherwise pessimism

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About 113.69$ has been spent to promote this content.

This post has received a 80.23 % upvote from @boomerang.

Relationship is one of the most important thing in ones life. it is also one of the basic of living.

@steemium purchased a 82.50% vote from @promobot on this post.

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Excelente articulo.. pero opinion hay mujeres q se merecen todos y unas no.. porq todoas no piensan iguales.. pero bien amigo saludos deesde vnzla...

I want to be in the list

I want to be in the list

Its a great blog to help us to see and work hard to make our soulmate happy thanks

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Like a pizza, your writing skill just perfectly enjoyable to read and i could feel the very content of your post. Everyone of us mostly reflect on this post because we are the part that wanting to met our soulmate.
Instead meeting the perfect one, i now choose to believe the current partner of mine is the one i wanted, and i believe we will grown and overcome every problem togather.

nice photo bro <3

Your articles are very genuine and inspiring! I love that you speak to the depths of human emotional experience-- often many of these feelings and thought are not consciously present to us. I think it is great to take a step back and objectively examine a lot of these issues. Thanks for sharing such awesome content! :)

  ·  2년 전

love is the campfire that you have to take care of everyday so that it does not die out ... all the best from @aple

beautiful article. although i think i should perhaps just re-emphasize a point you made, you can't always remain pessimistic or else your own walls will never drop low enough for genuine feeling.

good post. upvoted and resteemed. cheers!

This is one of the important topic in life. Relationships are very much required in life as its part of life. We need to take care of it with proper care and understanding. Thanks for writing such a nice post @chbartist

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Very well explained, focus on a goal is very important. Thank you for your mail.

why do you tag so many people

it so fun and usefull article ı have seen,you are writing so nice.Thanks

What I note is women in search of a husband from very young age, still in adolescence. And men trying to score as many women as possible. Then the woman turns 40, with a heart shredded by so men. Her chances of having a healthy child are small, and in any case, not many women can see it safe to risk dying before their children turn 30 (a newly 40 yr old mum would be 70 then). The men in their 40s, the ones who have managed some good financial stability, will then have children with younger women or have no children at all. Then remember what an imbecil he had been in his youth for letting go of women who loved him and who would have made good wives and mothers. But then the 40 yr old female drowns in the anti-depressive medication and the 40 yr old male drowns in a bottle of whiskey and coke, whilst sexting one of his friends with benefits.
Young women, it is not you who cannot choose a good man. It is because all men are mentally disturbed - largely by what the very society imposes on them and demands them to be sex predators.
The only way to stop all the suffering is by stopping to bring children into this world - because they too are destined to inherit such suffering. Always wish children on your enemies.

Tremendo artículo e inmensa verdad, @chbartist... Nadie es perfecto... todos somos un maravilloso mundo por descubrir. Es por ello que el “Homo, gnosce te ipsum...” del templo de Delfos (atribuído al sabio Tales de Mileto), adquiere verdadera relevancia en la actualidad.... saludos, nos leémos!!!

Como lo as dicho"No hay un ser humano perfecto", el proceso de convivencia con la pareja no es solamente imaginarse que todo seria un paraíso, sino que también suceden días difíciles, donde en conjunto se hagan sacrificios para salir adelante, se trata de que son un equipo y no que la persona con quien estas sea manipulable por ti como un robot, sino que tiene derecho a su libertad de manifestar su singularidad como tu. La relación en pareja requiere paciencia y amor en las buenas y malas. Y que los cuentos cursis que vemos en las telenovelas basados solo en placeres de un rato, celos, pasiones y traiciones son solo una diminuta visión en las muchas formas en que se puede visualizar una relación. PAZ A TODOS!

One important thing is to not worry about what other people think about your relationship and to remember why you fell in love with that person you made a part of your life.

Nice article, it reminds about about the reality that many people try to chase the perfect one, but at the end what they always found and kept is what they need most, the same best friend to grow old together. Just my opinion.

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