Why is it so hard to love yourself?


To love others, you must first love yourself . But it is not that simple. Here are some food for thought around benevolence towards ourselves and explanations for the fact that it is sometimes so difficult to truly love yourself.

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If loving each other is not so simple, it is because this act implies being at peace with who we are, our journey and its detours as well as our shadows and sufferings. A whole job that requires a maximum of benevolence on a daily basis and certain personal assessments. 

In his most recent book – Save Your Skin! Finally love yourself! -, the philosopher and writer Fabrice Midal reviews the whole myth of Narcissus. His new interpretation presents him as not an egocentric character who thinks only of himself, but as a being who takes the trouble to meet himself, who learns to respect, appreciate and trust himself. Among other things, it offers some ways to achieve better self-love.  

1- Forgive yourself for being imperfect to get rid of guilt 

Nobody is perfect! We repeat it to those around us with whom we are much more indulgent than to ourselves. In the face of failure, error or difficulty, we all tend to be extremely harsh judges when we play the main role. And our self-confidence plummets. We criticize ourselves sharply when if a friend had entrusted us with a similar situation, we would have encouraged, reassured and helped him. Then, we feel guilty for being what we are. Silencing this judge allows our benevolent side to take over. 

2- Face our character to open up to more

What irritates us so much in others is, in fact, only the mirror of what irritates us in our own character. To love each other, we must smooth our ego and face our flaws. They do not represent ALL that we are, but a part. We must therefore stop casting light only on them, but see each other more globally and value each other more. 

​3. Say “yes” to yourself for a better vision of yourself

Too often, we are afraid to disturb and we evaluate our person in relation to many criteria and models that are difficult to reproduce. In fact, wanting to be like everyone else makes us feel secure. We don't have to think, we reproduce what we see. But are we ourselves by acting like this? Unlikely! Let's say "yes" to our real desires in order to please not everyone, but ourselves! By no longer keeping silent about what makes us unique, we are more at peace with our vision of ourselves. It is much easier to love each other when our life as well as our actions have meaning and are aligned with our own values. 

Loving yourself is not so difficult if you agree to follow the road of return to yourself with kindness and patience.

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