Roommate from Hell brings pitchfork

2년 전

A new roommate from Hell moved in this past Sunday, bringing various cursed artifacts and a distinct smell of sulfur. Lining the wall with photos of various torture methods, she cheerfully introduced herself as “BAaeaalTzthaKaria, but you can call me Bae”. She apparently just got back from studying “abroad,” in Washington D.C.
“It felt like home!” she beamed.

Despite being a literal demon, Bae seems like a decent roommate. She keeps her chanting incantations down after midnight, and she apologized profusely for accidentally turning all the wine into La Croix.
Unfortunately, Res-life has taken issue. The blood-soaked pitchfork Bae brought back from hell has been setting things on fire, and attracting lower ranked demons. When asked to remove the pitchfork, Bae refuses.“Daddy gave it to me!” she replies, and proceeds to polish it with a suspicious red substance.

The RAs were visibly shaken, but they have persevered. “Satan is not someone we generally deal with, the only exception being during football season. We do not wish to negotiate with him regarding this pitchfork incident.”

The resolution reached was to keep the room at a higher temperature, to simulate the pitchforks natural environment and prevent it from randomly shooting bursts of flames. The room is now set at a comfortable 9000 degrees Fahrenheit, which is slightly less than the temperature of the sun.

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Cheers, mate. I hope the rest of the house stays cool.

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Hi @minnaloushe! Aw thanks for worrying, you're quite kind! My roommate and everyone in the house is super nice, so I'm very lucky. I've just recently heard a lot of roommate horror stories from my friends, so I thought it would be fun to write about the 'ultimate' worst roommate :)

Yaaaaay you're on steemit now! Welcome! This is super clever, I hope you post more stuff here. :)

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Aw Thanks, that means a lot! hopefully I can post more content regularly :D